Chapter 5 – Brief to the Ball
Back in the middle seat, I briefly felt the fabric of their dresses against my skin. I need to learn to live and accept this permanude lifestyle, to be an ongoing adventure for the rest of my life. I am very aware of my parents’ social status in this community. Many people I have interacted with this weekend are associated with my parents as direct employees or outside contractors.
I have experienced various reactions from people about my nude appearance at church, at the mall megaplex, and a taste of the world outside with the media. Tomorrow, at the academy I attend, will likely be worse than today. I know my classmates were cruel in their comments about me wearing dresses in the past. Some will show fake kindness while saying disparaging words behind my back. It’s like I am swapping those dresses for nothing.
It was still my first full day in the nude, having been the only one naked at Church, the meeting at the mall, and the thought of where to go next was terrifying. I grabbed both girls’ hands as my parents drove closer downtown in a near panic. My anxiety nearly overwhelmed me after pulling up to the front entrance of the Western Gate Resort Hotel.
Before Lilian got out after the door was opened, Mom said, “Doll, you are my pure shiny natural beauty to display to the world.” Even though I am almost an adult, I have been aware through my mother’s eyes. I am nothing more than some fancy purslane antique doll than a person. Placing my bare feet on the payment from the SUV, it took me a long time to accept those realities.
Getting out with so many people who have no association with my parent’s business terrifies me even more. More grateful to finally be privileged to have Ivana and Lilian as my support. Lilian. Standing there between gorgeous ladies in my natural skin, the thoughts in my head were, ‘If I only kept my damn mouth shut last night.’ I was paying more attention to the people looking toward me and saw some of them whispering.
I tried my best not to listen to the commentary about my public nudity, both positive and negative, in the crowded lobby. I didn’t hear the waitstaff asking me what to drink. I didn’t snap out of my thoughts until after Lilian spoke for me, “She would like some water with lemon.” Imagine seeing myself nude in this very place. To Know that it was just me that could see my bare flesh.
Looking around at the others, there is no question about my state of undress. The difference this time is everyone around me can also see me nude in a setting usually reserved only for the dressed. Ivana said, “You look great in that nude dress.” What you’re wearing is the best-looking outfit in your closet, is it not?” I took a deep breath, telling myself this is me, and I am never supposed to have clothes on my body.
The conversation was on many subjects between us girls about the social stuff at the academy. Listening to them talk made me feel horrible about my isolation from other girls. Express that I felt like a freak being dolled up in those formal dresses while everyone else was in uniforms. Ivana said, “For several months, you were nude while everyone else saw you wearing dresses.
“We have both heard the comments about you in the past. We saw a change in you last fall, about you stating that you began seeing yourself naked.” Those words sent shockwaves down my spine. Both of them grabbed my hands and lifted them to the table, not allowing me to cover myself with my hands.
Lilian said, “You started acting strangely. If anyone looked at you very long, you would get very bashful. Do you remember some instructors and students asking you if you were alright? You are the same classmate we attempted to befriend over the past months. Now we all can start seeing you as you have seen yourself – naked.”
I was even more aware of my nudity with all of their siblings looking at me, both younger and older. This is me, who is now permanently nude for the world to see. Heading out to the front of the row of vehicles waiting, shielded from some of the watching eyes as we passed. When I got out at the convention center, I shivered from the feel of the air as it gently kissed my skin as it passed over it, reminding me of my lack of clothing.
We, the girls, walked ahead of our parents and were more interested in our conversation. Then just as we were about to enter, some group of girls already dolled up cut in front of us. One of them turned to us and called me a “Poor naked slut who forgot her clothes.” I was the only one of us three that was unquestionably naked, while my friends were still wearing the same dresses they wore to church this morning.
That cruel comment angered me. Ivana took it more personally than I did, and Lilian looked stunned. They took the hardest though I am the one who should be offended the most as the comment was directed at me. We did what we could to comfort her tears until the parents got closer. I was getting more comfortable in my nudity until that comment.
Just being naked doesn’t make me a slut. Ivana and I gave space for the adults to console Lilian. Ivana asked me, “Are you taking this public exposure well?” Giving it some thought, I replied, “I am coming to terms with it as my life without clothes.” We could see that she was beginning to calm down some more.
Ivana said, “It’s just thread and fabric; that doesn’t define you.” After giving each other hugs, Lilian’s mom asked us, “Do you guys still want to attend this?” Waiting for Lilian to answer, “If you asked me before those cruel girls passed us, I would have answered no. Now I want to face each of them nude and proud like Connie. To show them that you do not need to be wearing fancy dresses to look fabulous.”
At that point, I was more concerned about her yanking everything off than anything those girls said. After several months of being the only one to see me nude and hanging out in my room and the formal balls, everyone else can see me the way I see myself. It did make me think about tomorrow, showing up at the academy nude.
In coming to terms with my decision to adopt this nude lifestyle, I need to expect to get derogatory comments like what those ladies said. What happened next shocked me and only drew more awareness of my nudity. I stood there stunned in the parking lot full of people as both of their dresses fell to the ground. There stood my best friends in nothing more than undergarments and shoes.
I watched Lilian’s dad reach out his hands to both girls as they casually stepped out of their discarded dresses in bras, shoes, and panties. Guessing everything that has happened pushed them to their limits. I was wrapping my head around what happened. One of our staff picked up the dresses from the ground and put them in the SUV.
To make sense of the events that unfolded as we walked into the building. My thoughts about my friends being nude like me or wearing something formal got me somewhat confused. Over the past months, I have been getting accustomed to this lifestyle of seeing myself this way. In a way, it has prepared me for this day of others seeing me nude. I hated seeing my friends upset over those comments and back at the theater.
After dealing with those comments about me standing out in those dresses all these years, I concluded that others at the academy were. Necessarily upset about me wearing all those garments, it was that they all had to keep wearing those uncomfortable uniforms every day. I am sure my first day out of those dresses.
I showed up in nothing but my bare skin and nothing else. I have only a few more months until graduation to stand up to those beliefs. I stood at the doorway of the convention center. Mom stopped me as the others walked past. We girls hugged before they both left to get dressed in their ball gowns, I hope. While I know I will be going on that ballroom floor like this.
No need for me to change into anything was expecting someone to escort me to the table to wait for everyone else to get ready. Mom said, “I am very proud of you for standing up to the decision to be a registered nudist. Your dad and I want to be assured of the life you want to live. We have asked our assistant Joleen to bring one of your formal gowns if you choose to wear it.” I briefly considered ending this and wearing clothes I do not see. Only everyone that has seen or heard about me since last night knows about my strange condition.
I stepped into the elevator and considered the options Mom laid out for me. I entered the dressing room full of others in various stages of getting ready and noticed Joleen waiting at my station near the wall of windows. I told myself, ‘I am the prize doll who doesn’t wear clothes.’ Looking around the room, I saw my friends in the chairs with beautiful dresses hanging behind them. Sat down on a towel, I asked Joleen if she knew who that older nude woman was.
She didn’t know. We made eye contact before she got up in all her nude glory and left. I had no clue if my parents had anything to do with that lady being in that dressing room. That wouldn’t surprise me. I stood looking in the mirror along with Ivana before Lilian joined us. She looked gorgeous compared to my bare self. My makeup covers most of my body.
Between getting ready for when I was the only one seeing myself naked. Being naked in public should be terrifying. As I looked at myself, I could be more at ease. While some blush was applied to the body, I admired that gown. I would have never been that at ease before everything to sight evaporated. Accept this is the way I am living my life.
As I entered the ballroom, all eyes turned to me. I am used to it due to my parent’s status. Now, all eyes were on me because of me rather than my parents. To see many discussing seeing me naked. I scanned the room for the older lady. I saw her in the dressing room. I couldn’t see her at any of the tables that would be easy to spot. Fully aware of the blurriness of my reality, I felt that my best course was to make it through tonight into the first day naked in school.
Just past the first table, my friends looked beautiful in their gowns. I briefly thought about what would happen if I slipped on that gown. One told me I looked marvelous in the hair styling, feeling great looking down at the toes. Forgotten about that gown as we approached the table with the ladies that called me a slut. Ivana’s hard began to tremble, and it didn’t stop until we were passed.
Those rude ladies made strange faces at us; I considered telling them, ‘The next ball I will wear something similar to my best dress and I will look better than you.’ I was concerned it would come back to bite me, so I considered it not worth the trouble. I didn’t care what they thought or had to say. But I did hear them grumbling as we passed them.
After we all sat down, we watched the room fill up, and I watched the older nudie enter with others of all ages. She was the only one nude in that group of people. I would be convinced she hadn’t worn a thing for years. I only wish to have the confidence to be like that with the aging curves. My attention turned to my friends about everything from social politics and our lives following graduation.
Our parents all sat at a table closer to the wall, giving us girls room so we couldn’t overhear each other’s conversations. More people arrived in those fancy dresses and tuxedos. The lights dimmed as the music began playing. We all sat there and watched as several groups of individuals performed various dances. I was nervous getting out there like this on the dance floor. We saw several of the teens dancing away until the lights came on.
Following the main course, we listened to announcements about upcoming events and balls planned in the coming months. I was getting nervous listening to several names being called out and them standing up for the crowd. I told myself to hold my back straight, only seconds away from my name being called.
Then the announcer called my family’s name and asked them to come to the ballroom floor. Standing there in all of my glory, shocked at how comfortable everyone was now seeing my sky-clad dress that looked outstanding. To my side, both of them were standing closer to me while I wasn’t listening to the announcer’s speech after my name was mentioned.
Some others were called to the floor following my somewhat speech, and the floor filled up. Some guy approached the table and asked me to dance. Feeling great about myself, I proudly replied yes. Just as the slower music began. The guy asked me if I wanted to continue dancing, with a definite yes. I learned a little about him, and his name was Luke. He is a senior at Wilson Western High School near where we live.
He joined us at the table, we learned more about each other, exchanged numbers, and gave me a quick kiss as he left. For the remainder of that evening, I was convinced my nudity had to do with the number of guys that asked me to dance. I agreed to dance with most of those who asked. Most of those who asked were males and females. As the evening waned, people began to leave.
Uncertain about my future following graduation, I would continue each day without a stitch of clothing on my body. Stepping out of the vehicle and feeling the cool air caress my tender skin and the cold pavement under my feet reminds me of my nakedness.
I was asked how my day went by my mother. I said, “It has been one of the best weekends of my life. If I saw any of those nude visions during the day, it didn’t matter. Tomorrow will be difficult; I will be in the best outfit money could buy.
The End? Or is it?