Something our author is describing from personal experience

Though parts of this story are from personal experience, with or without twists, the dressing room scene is not one such part (unfortunately).
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Thanks for the suggestion about the descriptions. Indeed it makes more sense to put the descriptions where they’re actually put to use, so to speak.
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Josy and Melanie, they both still getting to know each other (and themselves). In a way, it’s a story of personal discovery. Hmmm, title… oops, haha.

Tinder box! LOL!

That sure was a hot little addition to the evolution of Melanie and her relationship with Josy. 

First off, my apologies for being AWOL for so long. Nothing to do with my lack of enjoyment of this tale. I just have a nearly one-track mind. When I’m writing, I’m very focused.

I thought the dressing room scene was fun. The action of trying on each bra  always ending up wearing less and less, was so well done. The imagery of Mel with one foot up was described perfectly … I could see it (enjoy it) in my minds eye. Something our author is describing from personal experience, no doubt. <grin> I might have liked a boob size reminder in there, but that’s my own fault for being gone for so long. I was glad there was mention of her being hairless below … not that I had forgotten that detail.

The only suggestion I might make (and I’m forcing myself to try and think along these lines because it’s my sense that you are wanting to grow your skill), is to not have the bra descriptions separate from the action. As she was trying on the bras, I kept needing to flip back to where they were described. If I were doing it, I’d just say three bras when they are first mentioned, and then fully describe them as she’s trying them on. It’s minor, but that’s my one idea for you.

I really like the relationship between the two girls. Josy as a gentle pusher. Too gentle, in fact (for Melanie). So much so that Mel has to encourage her. That’s pretty funny actually. But in that final scene, it’s quite apparent that Mel does want to be taken further.

It’s really a hot story. I probably said that already. And when Melanie balances “on the razor thin edge between fight and flight,” what does she do? She starts rubbing her pussy for her audience of one, of course. I’m not sure many women would respond that way, but it’s cool that Melanie does! She can stretch in the park that I frequent any day.

Blair

A tinderbox? Interesting metaphor. Yeah, the cliffhanger…couldn’t resist.