I made it to the bottom of the hill and back to where we started about an hour after I watched Craig scale down the hill. From what he told me, they were probably already on the ferry and headed back to shore.
The place I chose to wait for Tabitha and Heidi was right at the entrance where the two trails forked, one going to the left and the other to the right. I guess you could say it was one trail, as it looped around the island. Either way you went, you would have to come out here.
There was no sign of Tabitha or Heidi in either direction. There were however, plenty of other people. Mostly it was people returning from their hike around the island. Everyone had taken notice of me. At this point I was just tired and didn’t feel like teasing anyone. I stood there while everyone from young boys to old men all seemingly decided that they needed a selfie right in front of me.
They didn’t even ask, like a reverse photo bomb. Even some teen girls got into it. Nobody talked to me, it was as if I were part of the scenery. I just stood there, boobs and bush on display and people stopped to take a photo. Some didn’t even bother with the selfie, and just snapped a few pics of me. When one guy tried getting a close-up of my pussy, I asked him to leave.
After around 30 more minutes, I saw Tabitha and Heidi finally emerge from the path. “There she is!” Screamed Heidi.
“Why did you run off?” Demanded Tabitha.
“I didn’t run off.” I insisted. “You told me to walk ahead of you and not look back.”
“”You’re a fucking idiot!” Heidi told me. “We are responsible for you and you go wandering off?”
I closed my eyes for a second to collect my thoughts. They want me to obey, so I obey. Now they scream at me? WTF for real!
“I’m here now.” I told them.
“You are not to wander off again.” Tabitha insisted.
We walked back to the town. I was still upset. Had I actually done something wrong or were they just crazy? They didn’t speak to me for the walk back or during the ferry ride back to Long Beach. Plenty of others did.
The ferry boat was absolutely loaded. There were seats inside the cabin, but up on the top deck it was just a corral of people milling about. It didn’t feel safe, since, unless you were by one of the guide rails along the outside of the boat, there was nothing to hold onto. I felt like a pinball, being bounced around between other passengers.
Whenever someone offered a hand of support to keep me from falling or slipping, their hands always seemed to be about chest level. Before today, nobody had ever gotten to second base with me. Now, like 40 people had. Not all men!
Tabitha and Heidi stood near the guide rail and watched me get molested by all of these people. I’m sure it wouldn’t have happened had I been dressed. It definitely wouldn’t have happened if Craig let me come with him! But they just stood there silently watching me get felt up by strangers. Heidi had a smirk on her face.
“Just admit it.” She told me when we got back to shore. She never mentioned what she wanted me to admit, and walked off before I could have responded anyway. I followed them back to a 2-door sedan. Tabitha pressed a button on her keys and it honked. Heidi pulled open the passenger door and stood there looking at me.
When I didn’t move right away, she ordered, “Get in the back, dog!”
I bit my tongue to avoid another fight. I climbed into the back and she almost took my foot off with the front seat. I quickly slid into my seat quietly and buckled in for the ride home.
Tabitha was already in by the time Heidi had closed the door. “Ready?” She asked no one in particular.
The car reversed out of the parking spot and then lurched forward. It had been such a long and tiring day, so I just closed my eyes and tried to rest during the car ride back to my house. I actually fell asleep in the back of her car.
The change from the running engine to it being shut off woke me up. “Are we here?” I asked. “Wait, where are we?”
I looked around, we were in some sort of parking structure and they had opened the door to get out.
I followed them out of the car, protesting, “I thought you were taking me home!”
“We’re going to go shopping first.” Tabitha said with a smile. Heidi was smirking too. What are they up to?
“I don’t want to go shopping. Can you please take me home first?” I pleaded, but they were already walking toward the mall entrance. I had little choice but to follow them.
We walked in through one of the department stores and out into the main mall. The girls wandered around from shop to shop, all but ignoring me. Of course, the rest of the shoppers took notice of the naked girl wandering around, but nobody stopped me.
Each time it was the same. They would walk us into a store, pass through all of the displays without paying much attention or really looking at what clothes were there and then walk out. The longer it lasted, the more people seemed to notice me. A lot of cell phones and other cameras were getting their fill of me. They kept a quick enough pace that nobody really tried following us. I was pretty sure the point of this exercise was to display me.
Finally, they found a store that seemed to interest them. At least this time they actually looked at the clothes.
“Oh, this is cute!” Tabitha said to Heidi, holding up a tiny pink half-shirt.
“Oh yes, and check out this wrap-around!” Heidi exclaimed.
“These will be perfect for her.” Tabitha agreed. “Hey Annie, come here.”
Naturally I was suspicious. “Can we go now?” I asked.
“What do you think of these?” Tabitha asked. “Aren’t they adorable?”
To me, any clothes would look adorable. “They’re fine.” I said.
“You should totally have them.” Heidi said.
I looked at the price. “I really can’t afford this place.”
“My treat!” Tabitha said, pulling out her credit card.
“I really can’t…” I started before Heidi chimed in.
“You two hurry and make up your minds. I want to go now.” Heidi headed toward the door.
“Here, go try these on.” Tabitha said. “I’ll take the same set to the register and pay for them, that way you can just walk out.”
I really didn’t trust these two, but if I was going to have a chance to get dressed now, I wasn’t about to pass it up. I did as I was told and headed to the fitting room. Before going in, I waited until I saw Tabitha actually pay for the outfit. I stepped into the fitting room, dawned the wrap-around skirt and the half shirt that barely covered my boobs.
It felt wonderful to be covered again. As much fun as I had had teasing my brother and his friends, being without clothes all day was simply too terrifying.
Tabitha was no longer in sight, but I could see Heidi standing outside of the store. I quickly headed toward her. As I got to the entrance I heard Tabitha yell out, “Hey, she’s stealing that outfit!”
“What are you…?” I started, right as the security guard grabbed me.
“Come with me miss.” He told me.
“She bought these for me!” I told him. “I watched her pay! Tabitha, tell him the truth!”
“I bought these for me.” She said, holding up the bag with the store logo on it. “She must have watched what I bought and is trying to get one over on you.”
“Please don’t do this!” I cried.
“Just admit it!” Tabitha snarled. “Admit it and this will be over with.”
“I didn’t steal anything.” I told her. And then to the guard, “This was a prank.” I said. “My friends told me they were buying this outfit for me and wanted to get me in trouble as a joke.”
The guard gave me a flat stare. “Open the bag, miss” he said to Tabitha. Sure enough, she had the identical outfit I was wearing. She also held out the receipt showing that she paid for it.
“I don’t know what is going on here, but one of you needs to return the merchandise.” He said.
“I bought this, so I am not returning anything.” Tabitha said. “Heidi, let’s go!”
They turned and took about ten steps away while the guard looked at me sternly.
“Fine!” I said. “It’s an ugly outfit anyway!”
I plucked off the half-shirt. The guard’s eyes bulged as he saw what I was doing. “I don’t mean for you to walk out naked!” he said.
As I unwrapped the skirt and handed it to him, I said loudly enough for Tabitha to hear, “I’m not naked. I am fully dressed.” I then stalked after them as they headed to the car.
“That was so funny.” Tabitha told me. Heidi added, “Did you see the look on the guard’s face when you handed him back the skirt?”
“It was NOT funny. I could have been arrested!” I said. “Please take me home now.”
“Not just yet.” Heidi said. “We just have a couple of more stops to go.”
Tabitha continued on to what appeared to be a small hardware store. “Are you coming?” She asked me as they waiting outside of the car for me to follow them.
“No thanks, I’ll just stay in the car.” I said. After the fiasco at the mall, I wasn’t about to trust these two in another store.
“Suit yourself.” Came the reply. They shut the door and headed into the store.
After 15 minutes or so, the two of them left. Tabitha set a bag of something in the trunk before getting back in the car and heading to the next stop. The next stop turned out to be a mid-sized condominium building off the maid street we had been driving down. “This is my house.” I just need to drop a couple of things off.
This time I decided to get out. Knowing these two, they could spend hours in the house just to spite me, so I’d rather go with them. Instead, Heidi turned to me, “Where are you going?” she asked.
“With you.” I said flatly.
“I’m sorry, but my parents don’t like strange people coming into our house.” She said.
“Fine. Then I guess I’m waiting in the car again.” I told her and turned back.
Just then the car beeped and Tabitha said, “Sorry, it’s already locked. You can just wait here. We won’t be long.”
“Please just let me in the car.” I said.
“Nope. You need to learn obedience. So you are to stand by the car until we return. We won’t be long.” She said, ending with her cheerful tone from earlier.
“Where am I going to go?” I asked, sarcastically.
“Just do as you’re told, that’s all we’re saying.” Heidi said harshly.
They headed inside, and I waited by the car. I mean, where else would I go? After several minutes, a car passed by. I didn’t pay much attention to it approaching, but when it got near where I was standing, the driver blasted his horn. I about jumped into the air with surprise from the sudden sound.
I watched nervously as shortly after they passed their brake lights came on. It stopped for a second and then sped away. After I could breathe again, I noticed the stop sign. I didn’t know anything about this neighborhood, and that suddenly made me nervous. I mean, what if they had lived near here? Do I really want to deal with a pedestrian at this moment?
I looked around for anything I could use to disguise myself with. The only thing I could see nearby was a stand up placard that advertised “New Units Available” and had some photographs presumably of the interior of the condos that they were selling. It was just standing on the sidewalk, in front of the unit marked Demo.
I walked over to it, turned it sideways and pulled it into the doorway. Then I crouched behind it. Every few minutes, I would hear a car pass by. I kept an eye out for Tabitha and Heidi to make sure they didn’t sneak back to the car and abandon me here.
One of the cars stopped. I stayed hidden, but it sounded like a family of 4 had gotten out and were headed to their home nearby. They stood around about 15’ from where I was hiding, talking about some movie that the youngest boy wanted to see this weekend. The older boy was complaining that he never got to pick the movie and it almost turned into a fight between the two boys before the father separated them and made them walk home.
I was actually shaking from panic. If they had discovered me here, I don’t know how I would have explained myself. I checked, fortunately Heidi and Tabitha hadn’t returned while those kids were arguing, or I would probably have missed them and been left here.
It was easily another 20 minutes before they returned. In that time, several more cars had driven by and 4 groups of pedestrians. I stayed hidden, and didn’t come out until I heard Heidi yell my name.
“Annie, where the fuck did you go?” Heidi had said.
I stepped out from my hiding spot and said in a loud clear voice, “I’m over here. I’ll be there in a sec.” I then all but sprinted over to the car.
“No obedience!” Heidi said scornfully toward Tabitha.
“Agreed. No obedience.” Tabitha responded.
“What are you talking about?” I demanded.
“We are talking about your promise to be obedient. That was the condition you made when you asked us for a ride back.” Heidi said fiercely.
“I just want to go home!” I pleaded again.
“Not until you learn to obey.” Heidi said firmly. Then I noticed that Tabitha was now holding a silver chain with a loop on either end.
I winced, “What is that for?”
“This?” she said, swinging it around for a second. “This is for you.”
I wanted to run, but suddenly Heidi had grabbed my arms behind my back and was holding me tightly. I struggled, but she was stronger than me. I could only watch as Tabitha took the chain and fed it through one of the loops, making a thick necklace out of it. She then slid it over my head and attached a dog collar to it.
Panicked, I had not noticed that Heidi had bound my elbows together behind my back. There was enough slack that my hands could just reach out to the front of my chest. They then bound my hands across my chest and I was stuck.
I tried struggling, but it was no use. After a few seconds, I felt a sharp tug on my neck. Tabitha was pulling on the leash and the chain had suddenly collapsed and began choking me. Black flecks began to fill my vision and I had the sensation of falling.
When I woke up, the two of them were standing over me. “She won’t learn. She’s too stupid!” Heidi proclaimed.
“Oh,” said Tabitha, “She will learn.”
I looked around. I was lying on the sidewalk, still bound and that silver collar was around my neck connected to the leash in Tabitha’s hand. “Stand” she commanded.
It was a struggle to get up with my hands bound as they were, but I somehow managed it.
“What a good girl you are!” Tabitha said, a new delight in her voice I hadn’t heard before. “Okay, now let’s get into the car.” She commanded. Her voice HAD changed. It had gotten a higher pitch, as if she were talking to a dog.
I didn’t want to be choked again, so I did as I was told. Though, climbing into the back seat was also a challenge without the proper use of my hands for balance. I tried just stepping in, but the floor mat wasn’t secure on the floor and it slipped across the car, causing me to go into a split. After that I sort of bounced my butt up onto the seat and pulled my legs back together. That hurt!
“See?” Heidi said. “She’s an idiot!”
“She’ll get the hang of it.” Tabitha said cheerfully, now both of them seated in the car.
“I doubt it.” Heidi said glumly. So did I.
Tabitha drove us around for half an hour before we reached out next stop. It was a parking lot that I was intimately familiar with. “Why are we at my school?” I demanded.
Instead of answering, they led me out of the car by the leash. Getting out was a bit more graceful than getting in had been. We waited for Tabitha to lock the car before she spoke to me.
Tabitha had taken the time to move around to stand directly in front of me, making eye contact. “I’m going to instruct you now.” Tabitha told me. “When I tell you to walk, you walk forward, one step in front of me. If you go further or if you fall behind, you will get the choker. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” I told her.
“Good.” She continued. “Now when I tell you to stop, you stop immediately, or you get the choker.”
“Got it.” I said.
“When I tell you to sit, you are to crouch down like this.” She said, then squatted all the way down so her butt was almost resting on her ankles. “And when I say Stand, you will stand up immediately. No hesitation. Understand?”
I nodded.
“Repeat the commands back to me.” She said smoothly.
“Walk, stop, sit, stand.” I repeated.
“Good, good.” She told me and moved to stand next to me on my right side. “Walk.” She said, as she touched my shoulder. I began walking and within a few steps felt the ‘choker’ as she called it pull tight around my neck, causing a sharp pain. It was released immediately, but the pain lasted for a minute or so.
“You’re too fast. Slow down to my pace.” She told me. That wasn’t exactly easy when I was a step ahead of her. “Now walk.” She repeated, touching my shoulder again as she said it. Again I felt the choker pull tight against my neck. It took a few strands of hair with it this time. I screamed from the pain.
“I said walk slower!” she told me, pay attention to me.
Over and over again, taking several steps and then stopping for some correction. Sometimes I got the choker and sometimes I didn’t, but Tabitha was displeased with my performance; that was certain.
She walked me out to the football field. It was late at night, and school wasn’t currently in session anyway, so nobody was around for my humiliation. Just Tabitha and Heidi, marching me around the track that wrapped outside of the football field. It went on for hours like this, “Walk” after several steps, “Stop” then “Sit” then “Stand”.
I complied as best I could. When I did it well, Tabitha would pat me on the head and say in that high pitched voice, “You are such a good girl!” when I didn’t please her, I would get a tug on the leash. They also discovered that, having spent the entire day running around in the hot sun without a stitch of clothing on, that I was completely sunburned from head to toe. Heidi especially liked giving my back a hard smack when I messed something up.
We walked, stopped, sat, stood. As time went on, she added “Left” and “Right” commands as well. Then we walked across the grassy football field and she worked on those commands. I realized that the touching on my shoulder was slightly different for each command. She was teaching me a hand signal. I seemed to respond to that quicker than the voice commands. At some point a few hours into the training, she stopped saying the commands all together and just used the hand signals.
When Heidi would walk me, she used the voice. Tabitha told us it would confuse me if Heidi didn’t do the hand signals exactly the same as she had taught me. Besides, I don’t think Heidi liked touching me anyway.
Finally, we took a break. “I need to pee.” I told them. They had each gone to the restroom while the other was walking me, but I was never given a break. Tabitha said, “Okay, I’ll take you to pee.”
She gave me the signal to walk forward. We were not headed directly toward the restrooms, and when I attempted to change direction I was given a hard smack across my back. “Bad girl!” she said as he hit me.
A stab of fear took hold as I looked over at Tabitha. It had been some time since I needed to be corrected, and she had never hit me before. “I didn’t command you to turn.” She explained.
“But the restrooms are over there.” I said, pointing at the obvious.
“Those are for people.” She told me firmly. “I see that I have indulged you too much, letting you speak freely to me like this.”
“No, Tabitha.” I said. I heard my voice shaking as I spoke.
“Before you can go pee, you will learn a new command. When I say ‘Speak’, you may speak to me. Otherwise, you will remain silent.” Tabitha told me coldly. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, Tabi…” WHACK! Heidi’s smack across my back sent me reeling. I’d never been hit that hard before and with the sunburn on top of it, it was several minutes before the stinging stopped.
“I said, do you understand?” Tabitha repeated.
“Yes, but…” WHACK! The second one was just has hard.
“She’s not going to get it.” Heidi laughed.
“She will, won’t you my pet?” Tabitha said, warmth when she said ‘my pet’ entering her voice. I felt my jaw begin to tremble, and managed to nod my understanding.
“What a good girl you are!” Tabitha said in that high pitched voice. “You deserve a treat!” She fed me a piece of chocolate she had from her purse. I didn’t recognize the brand, and it tasted a little off, but since I hadn’t had a bite to eat since lunch I gobbled it up.
Again, I eyed the restrooms. I really did need to pee. “Okay, time to take you potty.” Tabitha said. She then gave me the hand signal to walk forward. Again we were not headed to the restrooms, but I didn’t dare deviate from the path she had set me on.
We left the football, and she guided me around the bleachers. Beyond that was a fence with an unlocked gate. Tabitha stopped me and had me sit while she unlocked the gate, then she guided me out of the stadium and into a small patch of woods.
There she stopped and told me “Okay girl, go pee.” I looked nervous, not because I was worried about peeing in the woods, but because this was not a command she had instructed me on and I didn’t want to do it wrong. “It’s okay, girl, go pee.” She repeated.
I squatted down and relieved myself right there. It had had to go for quite a while, but was afraid to ask while they were training me. It took a few minutes for it all to come out. Now that I was squatted down, I didn’t know if I needed her permission to stand back up, so I looked over at her.
“What a good girl you are!” Tabitha commended. I actually liked hearing her say that too me. I never got choked or smacked when I was a good girl. “You need a name!”
My name is Annie, I didn’t need another one. But I was not told I could speak, so I kept silent. Tabitha continued to pet my head and praise me. “How about Sophie? Do you like that name girl?” I didn’t, but I had no idea if I was allowed to disagree so I nodded.
“Sophie is a good girl! Yes you are!” Tabitha told me. “Want to go walking again?”
Her high pitched excited voice made me feel good. I wanted her to be pleased with me. So I nodded vigorously. Tabitha instructed me to stand, and walked me back to the stadium. She introduced ‘Sophie’ to Heidi and let Heidi take me for my walk around the stadium. When we had finished out lap, Tabitha was still holding onto her cell phone.
“Sophie, I have great news for you!” I looked at her expectantly. “I’m taking you home soon!”
I felt a sigh of relief pass through my body. This would be over soon. “Craig is still at the hospital with Jimmy. He said you will need to do his chores tomorrow, so I need to take you home tonight to get ready.”
HIS CHORES? He is trying to get out of taking out the trash and weeding the flowerbed? No way! But I get to go home, so I will agree to anything. “Do you want to go home?” Tabitha asked.
I nodded excitedly.
“Okay, walk!” she commanded. She guided me once more around the track before we headed back to the car. I was getting really good at walking on a leash. Heidi held the door for me and I was able to navigate my way into the back seat without falling this time. Once inside, they took the leash off of me. I sat up straight and watched the cars go by as we drove. I was smiling and excited. I was going home.
When we arrived, the door was still locked. My keys were in my purse, draped over my shoulder, but I couldn’t reach it because my hands and elbows were still bound. Heidi unfastened the clasp, releasing the shoulder strap and took my purse from me. She rummaged through it until she found the keys. After a couple of attempts, she opened the door and we all went inside.
“Sophie.” Tabitha said, “Show us your room.” I led them up stairs and into the corridor that led to my bedroom. “Okay, we’ll sleep here. Sophie, you can sleep downstairs. Understand?” I nodded slowly. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, but if they were in it, I would have to sleep down stairs.
We all walked back down to the living room. I couldn’t do much with my hands and arms tied up as I was, but I plopped down onto the couch. Suddenly, everything happened at once. “No! Bad Sophie” Tabitha yelled, while Heidi began smacking me all over. I jumped off of the couch, but they kept scolding me. “No! Not on the furniture!” Tabitha yelled. “Bad girl!”
I was shocked. This was my house. I’ve always been allowed on the furniture, haven’t I? “Now sit!” Tabitha ordered. I crouched down and dropped my eyes in shame. “Stay.” She said firmly. Stay was a new command. I wasn’t nervous because I was certain that it only meant do nothing.
Heidi brushed off the couch where I had been sitting. As if I had left fur on the couch or something. Tabitha left the room for a minute and then came back in with the leash. “Heidi, can you please take Sophie for a walk? She needs to pee before bedtime.”
Heidi took the leash and led me out into the yard. I had only eaten the chocolate since lunch, but my belly was really getting upset. I needed to ask for some toilet paper or something, but I was afraid to speak. Heidi walked me to the front lawn. I didn’t want to go here. It was too embarrassing to poop on my lawn, so I shook my head no. We walked a little further and eventually made it out to the sidewalk by the street.
It was really late out, so I wasn’t afraid of any neighbors passing by, but too many of them had doorbell cameras and I didn’t want to get spotted pooping one someone else’s lawn either. Finally I settled on a house that was up for sale. Likely any camera system would have been taken with them or at least not checked. I squatted down and did my business. It was really messy. That chocolate did NOT agree with my stomach.
When we came back to my house, Tabitha had lain out a blanket and pillow next to the couch. I really needed to go clean myself, but my hands were still bound. “Lie down.” Tabitha instructed. I laid down and she turned off the lights. I really was exhausted. As soon as my eyes were closed I drifted off to sleep.
“Wake up, Sophie!” said Tabitha. I opened my eyes. The sun was already up and the wall clock indicated it was just past 8:00 AM. Heidi was holding the magnetic whiteboard that is normally attached to the refrigerator. “Well, it looks like you have some chores to do. Hurry and finish them and we’ll make your breakfast.” Heidi said.
Chores. My chores were done. These must be Craig’s chores. “First,” Continued Heidi, “You need to take out the trash.”
I didn’t want to do Craig’s chores on top of mine. But she did say they would make me breakfast if I finished them, so I got up sullenly and headed toward the kitchen. Three large black garbage bags and one white kitchen bag were already sitting by the kitchen door. “Tabitha and I already rounded up the trash, so all you need is to take them to the curb before the garbage truck gets here.”
I don’t remember us having this much garbage before, but I wanted to get it out there before my neighbors came out and saw me running around naked. The only problem was, I couldn’t do much with my arms bound. I tried lifting one of the black bags, but I couldn’t do it one handed.
“Hmm.” Tabitha said. “If I take these off of you, will you be a good girl?”
I nodded vigorously. I would be a good girl. I don’t need to be tied. Heidi left the room for a few minutes and came back with a large knife from the kitchen. She began sawing at the restraints and one by one they were removed. I moved my arms and wrists, getting used to being untied. I stopped pouting and smiled eagerly. I would show them I could be a good girl. I don’t need restraints.
One by one, I carried each bag out to the curb and then went back inside. Tabitha was full of praise again. “What a good girl you are! Sophie is such a good girl!” I was so happy.
“Okay, next you need to weed the garden.” Heidi read off of the board. That meant the flower garden around the front of the house. I really would be mortified if my neighbors saw me pulling weeds in the nude, but Sophie was a good girl, so I eagerly went outside and began Craig’s chore.
It took an hour or so. I didn’t count how many cars had passed by, but I did hear 4 of them honk when they saw me out there. Worst was when the garbage truck stopped and the guy who got out to pick up the bags was only 4 feet from me. I was so afraid that he was going to try to pet me. But he just watched me as he worked and then left after a couple of minutes.
Sophie was a good girl and did her chores. My hands and arms were pretty muddy when I got back inside. “Are you ready for breakfast?” Tabitha asked. I could smell bacon and scrambled eggs coming from the kitchen. I nodded happily, but looked worriedly at my dirty hands.
Following Heidi into the kitchen, I saw the table had 2 plates set up for each of them. Confused, I looked around for my spot. There on the floor next to the sink were 2 bowls. One was filled with water, and the other had scrambled eggs and bacon.
My hands were filthy and I had no utensils, so when they told me to go eat, I kneeled down and ate without using my hands. “What a good girl you are, Sophie. I am so proud of you!” Tabitha exclaimed. I was proud of me too. I didn’t know why, but Tabitha was proud of me so I was proud of that!
We all finished eating, I drank as much of the water as I could lap up, but it is hard drinking out of a bowl without using your hands. When we finished eating, Tabitha and Heidi washed my hands. “We have one more chore for you before we leave.” They are leaving? I didn’t know if I should be happy or nervous.
Using the hand signals, Tabitha walked me back upstairs. “You need to make the bed before we go.” She told me. Not my favorite chore, but I wanted her to be proud of me. Sophie is a good girl!
When we got to my room, something was wrong. The closet door was wide open as usual and all of the dresser drawers were pulled out. Everything was gone. All of my clothes were missing! I looked terrified at the empty closet and back at Tabitha.
“What’s wrong, Sophie?” Asked Heidi.
I didn’t dare speak, so all I could do was whimper.
“Oh, the clothes? You won’t need them anymore. You are already dressed, remember?” Heidi taunted.
Tears streaked down my chin as I understood. Those black bags were filled with my clothes. They had me take them out to the curb! Sophie was a good girl. I didn’t speak.
“Do you want them back?” Asked Tabitha. I nodded.
“Well, maybe if we hurry, we can find out where the truck went and see if we can get them. Hurry and make the bed and we’ll take you with us.” Heidi said.
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Part 5 is not available on this site. To read the original post that includes the conclusion to this story, please click here:
https://www.girlspns.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=1955&start=10
I’m also writing a spin-off story based on Tabitha for a summer story competition. You can follow along here:
The mean girls are back.
So getting on the ferry naked was okay? Is it a free ferry that is not closely monitored?
Ahh, normal mean girls stuff. Fan’s of forced nudity might enjoy this.
Could she have waited by the car? The mean girls probably should have said she has to come if she wants a ride home.
Ahh the mall experience.
Wow… these girls are ‘really’ bad. lol. It’s interesting to see where all this is going.
Yes, this seems like a good reaction.
You will probably get a more robust readership if you make this more sexy somehow. So that means focusing on embarrassment and arousal rather than fear and pain. But it’s early, let’s see what you can do with this.
Ouch!
Hours walking and shopping and hours training. They probably need a rest and some food. Maybe they should get some food before the training? Or leave the mall with some burgers?
This is written like it’s Annie, but I think it’s not Annie speaking.
I kinda forgot that she was bound. That wasn’t really mentioned as many things happened in the last section. Wouldn’t being tied up outside have attracted too much attention and perhaps the police? That’s fine, I get that this is a fantasy.
Doesn’t she need to wipe her bum?
I’m wondering if this is kinda working because of that hypno suggestion that she should be more accepting of things.
This will be controversial. It’s just really mean, but I get how it’s potentially hot as well. But not so realistic. Obviously she will get more clothes later, so is really less about sexy and more about a pointless loss of her possessions. Technically, it’s a very dramatic moment in the story and a strong cliffhanger. But I don’t feel optimistic the mean girls will help her. I’m curious where you are going with this.
Thanks for all of your feedback. I’ll try to address some of it here. First, I’m a bit embarrassed at all of my type-o’s. Thanks for pointing them out, I’ll try to correct them as soon as I have time to go through everything.
While this story has some sexual components, the story was never really going to be sexy the way other stories on this site are. This is more of a bake psycho-horror story.
Everything done to Annie is done to break her and train her into being obedient. I wasn’t able to include it in the final version of the story, but even the chocolate was a laxative so she would be forced to go #2 outside like a dog.
Her clothes represented her connection to her normal life. Without them, all she has left is the collar. That was her breaking point.
Unfortunately, part 5 is where her mind really starts to unravel. It was removed by a moderator and I will try to salvage it in a way that complies with the site guidelines, but that is the part that Annie comes undone. She becomes Sophie.
Hopefully I can do a rewrite of the final chapter that doesn’t spoil the story or tension that has built so far.
you could also read the original version on this site:
https://www.girlspns.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=1955&sid=5753d527998c2a3322573f618aefa340
Had to remove chapter 5 as it violates the site rules with children, especially in sexual situations. Perhaps you could repost it, replacing the children with older people?
We all do typos.
Ahh that’s good. To have a focus and vision.
Ahh… puppified.
You could make that work better by occasionally having her wonder if that hypnosis suggestion was part of what was making her go along with all this.
Funny how Sophie is a normal human name, and also appropriate for a dog.
I’m sure you can.
I read it. The ending was cool. Although feels a bit abrupt, you might milk that out a bit. Also maybe turn the kids into classmates perhaps, ones she knows very well. An idea for the last bit of the ending… after talking with a new therapist… could be residual effects of the conditioning. Say like on the way home she sees someone giving to hand signals to a dog… she get’s excited ‘like a dog’ and has urges to join them.
I considered aging up the kids, but they still act like kids so it would it would feel off. I’ll need to put some thought into doing without distracting from the story.
As for the end, since this was a first person story, and I wanted to include the context of who she was talking to, it kind of has to end when the story reaches the point where her audience would ask a question. That or make the jarring change from first to third person in the narrative.
One thing I like about the first person story is that you are usually dealing with an unreliable narrator. For instance, in chapter 3, Annie was running away from some people she thought were going to rape her, but when she runs into Craig, he doesn’t say anything about it. Those were just joggers, plus some people she ran by hitting on her…
There are other examples, but I wanted to let her tell her story having already experienced the trauma of it.
Yeah, I know. It’s not easy. I had a chapter with a young girl just taking pictures so that she could get the naked girl – in trouble. And even that got booted off of literotica. I think that if they were instead schoolmates that know her well, they would have the potential to out seriously outclass the 12 year olds, by a mile. Give it some thought. People of all ages love a nice doggie.
Right, but that can be tricky.
I see you are serious about writing. That’s awesome. I’m actually aware of the term ‘unreliable narrator’ but I don’t often think about it. I should think about it more as it has a lot of potential. The problem with that scene was that the reader also felt they were actually chasing her. Which might be okay I guess, if you really want unreliable information to the reader. I dunno, it’s a tricky thing to play with. But I get what you were trying to do. It’s ambitious!
The ending was clever, although a tad bit short. But it’s a quick and neat wrap up. Your last chapter has some strong elements. I sometimes read stories about the heroine falling into a series of escalating degradations, so this was right up my alley. A bit on the darker side, but most of us like to read something a little extreme once in a while. Usually a story like this can be amped up by added a few unexpected brief moments of freedom, hope, or a friend peppered in here and there. Plotting full throttle, straight into the brick wall can be less impactful, as odd as that sounds – especially with a mind control story. Also feel free to ignore my advice, I’m just trying to toss ideas, in hopes that something could be helpful. Looking forward to your rewrite!
You are a great coach about this. It’s making seriously consider a revamp of the entire story. I especially like the idea of adding more missed escape routes to keep the reader guessing how she would get out of this.
as this is only my second attempt at writing a story, and the first one I ever finished, when I got near the end in part 5 I just rushed it to completion.
another reason I didn’t do many revisions on this, essentially posting my first fraft of the final 2 chapters was because writing a first person narrative where the main character”s mind is unraveling takes a lot out of you.
you have no idea how many times I would utter the phrase Sophie is a good girl” while I was just taking a walk to think through the final plot. I don’t know how other writers do it, but for the time I was writing this I felt more like the way a method actor prepares for a role. I just mentally became the character for a day or so.
all that said, you’ve given me some great ideas and I really appreciate it. I may actually try implementing some of them!
Actually, my advice isn’t overly wise. Rewriting (making deep changes) is way harder than making a first draft and it causes most new writers to give-up. Better advice would be to just focus on swapping the kids with wide-eyed classmates. Start by simply modifying the paragraph that introduces them. If you can painlessly inject a moment or two of a friend or add a potential escape route, then great, but don’t lose your momentum over it. Making deep changes to a story is hard (harder than we usually expect) and it would be wiser to just polish your last two draft chapters for clarity and strength. Milk the best parts more if possible and flesh out stuff that might be a bit underdeveloped or weak. With drafts, we are mostly focused on the big picture and so with a couple polish passes we gradually focus on smaller things. A strong scene, a strong moment, a strong paragraph, a strong sentence, a strong word. The more you polish the deeper you go into the details and it can make a dramatic difference. Yes, spending time with your characters is a tried and true method for many of us writers. I know a couple writers that spend a LOT of mental time with their characters before they write a single word.
I agree, I would really be afraid to tinker too much with this other than a few compliance and consistency issues, maybe.
I am planning a spin-off is sorts, set about a year later and with Tabitha as the main character. It’s for a story competition on the other website. I’ll most likely post it here afterwards.
Sounds great. Good luck with your writing.