Hooked6

I agree with your reasoning regarding edits to previously posted chapters.  Small fixes are fine, but changes requiring rewriting are best left for a second pass.  And since you are known to be a meticulous note-taker it should be easy for you to keep track of what you intend to change in the next version. And of course, you don’t necessarily know yet how a past chapter needs to be rewritten.  You won’t really know that until you get to the end.

Thank you Molly,
 

In the old days of E.N.D. it would have taken you several chapters to do all of that.

Yes, exactly! That site did not allow posts to be anywhere near this long — making for a much greater number of chapters. But seriously, I know you are complimenting my writing and I thank you for that.
 

Your response was that you did not want to take time away from your
mystery plot to address that and we can just assume they talked about
such things, but I am going to push back a little on that.

Thank you for that as well. I believe you are right. It makes no sense to leave readers with these questions. I plan to address that, probably utilizing the word-efficient method that you suggest. Even though it is possible, I don’t plan to go back and edit the chapters that have already posted. First, those following the story have already read them. And second (probably more importantly), I am pushing ahead. It is my goal to see this story through to its conclusion having posted every Wednesday until I get there. Something might come up that would prevent me from doing that, but one needs a goal (and I’m far enough ahead with the writing, that I should be able to achieve it).

I have already begun to add in small details in response to your advice (and the comments of others). As an example, Catherine ‘charges’ right through a fence in Chapter 4 (posted yesterday). That wasn’t there in the original draft. Given that, and that she can get into and out of cars without a door opening, it should now be clear that this ghost can indeed walk through walls. Show, don’t tell, right?

Yours, Blair

I don’t have any specific suggestions except a couple of things that came up in the comments.  One was the question of whether Jessa can feel Catherine’s touch.  You said that she cannot and indicated that you changed the slapping scene to make that clear.  You might also look at the hugging scene because the impression given there is that Jessa can feel her, but that she is not warm.

 
There was also discussion in the comments about how Catherine travels to places like Dirk’s institution.  Whatever you have decided about that, I would suggest briefly inserting it into the story itself.  This is something that Jessa would naturally wonder about and likely ask.

 
This reminds me of our exchange in the previous chapter when I said Jessa should ask questions about the afterlife.  Your response was that you did not want to take time away from your mystery plot to address that and we can just assume they talked about such things, but I am going to push back a little on that. 

 
In a story like this, the protagonist is a proxy for the reader because both the character and the reader are experiencing new things together. Since supernatural events occur, it is natural for the reader to have certain questions and I think it will be frustrating to readers if you just don’t bother addressing those questions. And I don’t think it will be sufficient to presume that such conversations took place “off stage.”

 
If you want to keep the focus on your mystery plot and not invest many words in these matters, I think there are concise ways to dispense with the readers’ questions without getting too deep.  For example, you could say that Catherine has never seen any other ghosts, nor angels or deities.  She just found herself still here after her murder.  Being familiar with other ghost stories, both the reader and Jessa might conclude that perhaps Catherine is unable to leave because of her unsolved murder and Dirk’s incarceration. So part of Jessa’s motivation would then be, not just to solve the mystery but to ultimately help Catherine move on with the next stage of the afterlife — whatever that might be.

Lol! “Tension!” Maybe that should be my middle name?

Thanks Jim. Nice to cross paths with you again, and on a new site, no less!

Thanks arthwys!

Yes, lots of tension … a high-stakes cliffhanger, as I imagine it.
 

ENF-mystery thriller is quite unique, at least I haven’t read any before.

Truth be told, neither have I. It’s not even an option on the site. Under “content type” nothing at all like “mystery” or “thriller” is there as an option for me to select. I went with:
 

“Content Type: Embarassment/Humiliation, Only One Naked, Romance/Friendship

That’s as close as it gets, but it doesn’t really hint at what type of story this is, does it? I’m not complaining, not saying that it needs to be added. I doubt there will be a lot of other stories like this showing up in the ENF genre. Unless this is the next big thing! lol!

Thank you for mentioning that scene. I was hoping to succeed at what couldn’t help but be a powerful moment in the story. Murder victims never get to tell their story.

Best Regards,

Blair

Thanks Dimitrii,

I’m enjoying your comments. Thanks for posting!
 

“…the blistering pace of the story which I am also enjoying.”

Very high on my list of goals for this story is PACE. I want it to have everything, but above all, I want it to move along rapidly. All the story, half the words. To a large extent, that requires that I look critically at things that might not be especially important to the primary plot trajectory (and delete them). By “details” I assume you mean ‘ghost powers and limitations.’ Because you (and others) are mentioning that, I’ll attempt to include a bit more of that going forward.
 

She really needs to think about what she should do and say if caught.

Yes, but some of what she’s done would be awfully hard to explain, especially if the truth is off the table.

Again, thanks! Chapter 3 coming on Wednesday.

…I’m nothing more than one of your readers.

I beg to differ. You’ve participated with me on this quest (learning how to construct realistic fiction out of hot air) on so many levels. Other readers have as well. Anyone who, like you, helps me hone my craft is near and dear to my heart.

So he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and find a naked girl in bed with him. Tee-hee!

I could never imagine such words being so painful to read.

An excellent point RM. Even though Jessa reacts similarly to the diary entry, I’m not sure I fully understood just how painful those words would be to read.