Thanks again for reading and commenting.

The “flapping in the breeze” line. Yep, you must have started right after I post because that was quickly changed. What in the heck was I thinking?

Lots of good suggestions here. I’m sure I’ll use a number of them, but not in what is already posted. If/when I do a rewrite, I’ll go back and make sure I’m leaving readers with fewer questions about how Catherine gets around, what it’s like to hug her, etc.

About Nick taking so long to return … hard to know if what he said (waiting for his shift to end) was the full story or not. I imagine that Jessa might (rightly so) be a little suspicious. I’ll probably leave that as is. He doesn’t really seem to be trying to have an airtight alibi, does he?

The MCU. Believe it or not, I actually didn’t make that up. Research! If you don’t believe me, google “VSP MCU.” (probably not worth the effort, but that is what it is called in Vermont)

All my best to you!
Blair

“You’ve got great tits.”

This may seem like a small point, but in this type of verbal exchange I think it helps to add the word “do” to the punchline, as in “well, you do have great tits.” 

 
I know I already made the following point, but would just note that in this chapter the discussion of whether Catherine would go with Jessa or Nick, as well as the discussion of whether the junkyard still exists, again raises questions that the reader will expect a character to ask.  How do ghosts travel?  Couldn’t she just float around in the sky looking for evidence of the junkyard like on Google satellite view? Again, this need not add much to the word count.  Just “ask and answer” it and move on.

Even if she came with me, I had to handle it on my own. I wasn’t about to get naked in a library.

Well, but if she wore that little t-shirt dress from the earlier scene she would have the option of going to the ladies room to whip it off in the stall. The scenes are fine as you have them; I was just pointing out that if she’d wanted to communicate with Catherine in the library there’d be a way to do it.

I didn’t have GPS coordinates, but I had an address. Hopefully, that would be enough for Nick.

Um, that’s how your phone does all of its mapping — with an address. I would just omit those two sentences.

I got into my bra and panties in record time. Moments later, I had my shorts and top on as well. It had never felt better to be dressed.

 I don’t recall if you described what she was wearing at the beginning of this scene, but seeing this list of articles at the end made me wonder why she wouldn’t have worn something simpler, such as that previously mentioned t-shirt dress.

“I found it,” she exclaimed, giving me a hug. The ghost on skin contact felt as strange as ever.

So . . . does Jessa feel Catherine’s body or not? 

“I had to wait for my shift to end.”

If I were in Jessa’s situation, that wouldn’t sound like a good enough answer. He couldn’t have made some excuse to get away sooner? His bosses evidently didn’t quiz him earlier in the day over why he was using his squad car to pick up some girl and go to a junkyard so it seems like he could have slipped away for an hour. Of course, I’m not suggesting you actually have him get there sooner; he just needs a stronger explanation. Perhaps instead of just saying he had to wait for his shift to be over he could explain that there was this big traffic accident or some other important policing task he had to deal with.

“We’re bringing in the MCU.”

The Marvel Cinematic Universe!  Oh . . . “major crimes unit?”  Well, I guess that works too. Never mind.

ReaderMan,

A very well-written post. You do a masterful job of walking the tightrope, balancing mention of the sexy and fun with that of the serious and scary. I thank you for that. I hoped that these revelations wouldn’t scare readers away. But Catherine needed to tell her story, and, sadly, it’s a grim one. But it has to be. She’s stuck between this life and the next. What little I know of such things tells me that that is extremely unusual — that it doesn’t just happen. There has to be reason.
 

That she has people in her corner now.

Yep, Jessa. And surely Nick, as well. As you witnessed, hearing Catherine’s story was very traumatic for Jessa. But she’s tough as nails. I’m betting this experience has hardened her resolve.
 

Catherine was amazing in this chapter. I have a new level of respect for her.

I hadn’t really considered that, but I guess it makes sense. Early on, Catherine was acting forgetful to protect Jessa. But when the time comes, she tells Jessa what she has to, remaining calm all the while. I imagine her simply relaying facts. For her it is an old story. Emotional sure, but the years have made for a certain distance, a detachment, if you will.
 

A very strong chapter. Upsetting, but excellent.

I expect that about sums it up.

Blair

Hi pavel_ser,

First off, my apologies for taking so long to reply to your intriguing post. There are so many thoughts and ideas here. It’s not really possible to digest in one sitting.

There is one statement that I found confusing. You write, “I have an ambivalent feeling when I read this story.” But then you follow that up with a great many things that make it sound as if you are not at all ambivalent — at least not according to my understanding of the term.  For example, you write, “I read over and over again and look forward to the next chapter. On the whole, it is very well written. 5 stars.” But I do see that ‘mixed feelings’ is one definition of ambivalence — likely that is what you mean. By and large, your post includes many compliments. I thank you.

Okay, let me see. I’m glad (so glad) that you like Jessa. I imagine she is a fun person. She’s head strong and she is able to take charge and work things to her advantage. I imagine she is not easily manipulated. One quick clarification: you seem to imagine her painting pictures — a painter. In reality, she’s painting walls — a solid color — with a roller or a large brush. The family is fixing up grandma’s house — presumably to be sold, but that does not come up in the story.

And all the information about ghosts that you provide. I imagine that you’ve done a lot of reading on the subject. Truth be told, I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. This is indeed a ghost story, and yet my focus is largely on the relationships. I want it to seem as if Catherine is just as real as Jessa. That might be my primary goal with this story — the creation of a believable relationship between these two relatives — separated by time and living conditions (okay, a bad joke).

You have some very interesting suggestions, Nick and Jessa marrying and ending up with a reincarnated Catherine as a daughter, for example. How cool would that be!!!

About the welding, however. It’s not nearly as dangerous as you imagine. Carbon monoxide, for example. There are a great number of welders who are around the fumes 40+ hours a week for their entire careers. I’m sure a few have lung issues, but it is mostly safe. Also, the heat is very localized and dissipates quickly. I’ve done a lot of welding (mig welding, mild steel), probably as much as anyone who has never been employed as a welder per se. The primary danger is to the eyes.

Please continue to read and comment!

Blair

Thanks Dimitrii,

I have to let you know how much I appreciate your words.  “So real, so heartrending. I was in her place, so alone and vulnerable…”

There is something about fiction that still amazes me — the ability to create something out of nothing — something that feels legitimately real to a reader. I know that the magic exists, because I’ve experienced it as a reader. That I myself might be able to write and string together sentences that bring a character to life — that is still something that have difficulty wrapping my brain around. At times my scenes do seem real when I re-read them — and yet I’m never quite able to forget that I wrote what I’m reading — that it’s a fabrication.

Blair

But I think I know what you are saying … that the there is a certain amount of suffering that comes with waiting an entire week. That, I can certainly sympathize with.

I wasn’t too serious here. A big part of the fun on this site are the discussions and speculations about how the story might develop after the authors post their newest chapters. So I don’t really mind too much having to wait for the next chapter .

I hadn’t noticed, but you don’t need to feel bad. We all do it. I try to get ALL the typos out of my story, but I put much less effort into comment posts.

Ouch,

You’re pointing on my bad habit of posting while some syntax errors remain.

Thanks a lot FOR this gripping story.

Helen.

Thanks Helen,
 

I guess we’ll have soon the answer.

The answer is here in the comments. See my response to arthwys post (above).
 

Thanks a lot this gripping story.

You’re most welcome (assuming you’re not mad at me for putting you through that).

Blair

And that’s fine. Don’t feel obligated to circle back. Due to the revelations, this is the story’s dark chapter. I can fully understand if it wasn’t your cuppa. Spend your time on Melanie; that will make me (and others) happy. Now there’s a woman with a playful, upbeat attitude!