After that meeting with Sarah, it felt surreal to be standing in a circle with all the guys. Ben, Liz, Asher, Leo, Travis, Raul and Eddie. Here I was in a see-through shirt, and everyone seemed to be stealing measured glances at my neck, while I clasped my hands low in front of myself. It was my new collar, of course. Little did they all know that one by one, they would each get to put a leash on it and lead me around outside, with the power – if they so wished – to take away my only piece of clothing. The very thought made my knees weak. It was insane.
The meeting was moving in slow motion. Asher was going into details about a web page design that a client was complaining about. Leo responded to each point in turn, looking agreeable even though it was obvious that he felt the client was insisting on unwise things. And mere minutes ago, I had narrowly avoided having to end the meeting with a Bic shaver in my hand. My heart was still beating loud at the thought as I crossed my arms, hiding my semi-visible breasts. It was a mistake to move my hands, as I now saw Raul blinking, as he looked down. Did he notice that I had shaved? No doubt this revelation was going to be huge amongst the guys, even if they didn’t say anything. I felt a blush growing but still kept my arms across my chest.
As the guys gave their updates, Ben kept his eyes on my face. His expression was sympathetic as if he was saying ‘hang in there.’ I appreciated the support.
“That’s fine,” Leo said, as Asher shifted his attention to Eddie, asking him about how easy it was to turn on and off maintenance mode. Apparently, it was a stakeholder’s request. It was easy to guess where that request came from.
One hand untucked from my crossed arms and traced the ring on the front of the collar. Eyes darted my way as I swallowed nervously. I was zoning out, thinking about why I needed ‘naked training’ in the first place. The thought of Ho, holding my leash while bringing me down Main Street was becoming unbearable. “Look guys, I need to talk to Brandy about something,” I said, ducking out of the update meeting early.
A moment later, Brandy looked up and saw me standing in front of her. She pulled out her earbuds. “You look like a million bucks,” she said, smiling as her eyes danced over my shirt.
Against my will, I smiled awkwardly at the compliment, but then realized she might have meant the extra million I negotiated. “Look, I don’t see how humiliating me all across town is necessary for preparing me for the ACE event.”
“It’s an important event. Don’t you want to nail it?”
“I’m not worried about the ACE event,” I lied, not wanting to think about how big the crowd might be and what I would have to do. “I’ve hosted parties naked before and besides, it’s a different crowd. Main Street is my neighborhood. It’s bad enough I have to wear this shirt around town showing everyone that I’m Nine. Being fully naked where I live… that’s too much. The apartment area should be my safe zone.”
“But… they can all see you naked as you are now… with the shirt on,” Brandy said.
What Bandy said made sense, but… “I don’t care. There is a big difference and you know it. Naked is too much. And I want to yellow card Ho,” I blurted out.
“Yellow cards are for Sarah, and only when she is about to do something.”
“I can’t be leashed by Ho… I just can’t,” I said gravely, hoping she could tell from my expression that this was well past my red line. “If you want me to play nice with this project, I highly recommend that you give me this.” It was hard to stand my ground against a person who held all the cards. I prayed that she would give me this one thing.
Brandy looked sympathetic. “Emi… that’s not the way it works,” she said gently.
Feeling a disgust that must have shown on my face, I turned to leave.
“Wait a moment Emi. Sit down, let’s talk this through.”
I paused, still facing away from her, trying very hard to not walk away as I realized that she could see my ass through the shirt.
“This really means that much to you? You can’t tough it out?”
I looked back and nodded.
“So if I make this huge concession, do you promise to be a model mailgirl?”
I nodded again.
“You and Ho have some pretty bad blood,” she chuckled. “Alright, I’ll give you this – but it will cost you.”
My heart lept in relief as I turned around to face her, but my joy was bittersweet as I knew that she would make me pay dearly.
“The more extreme shirt, or a latte with me at Cloud Nine. Your choice.”
I balked. “You mean, naked at Cloud Nine?”
Brandy smiled. “Naked? That’s even better! Since you are so generous, I will toss in a full yellow card to replace your used-up one.”
“No… I mean…” I thought quickly, considering her offer. The more extreme shirt was not even on the table, but Cloud Nine… I’d already done that and Jill had already seen me naked. A new yellow card also would be very nice, but I didn’t want to be seen near my apartment naked.
“No naked bike ride?” I asked, apprehensively – my mind went back to that thrilling and memorable ride.
“No naked bike ride.”
“I get to wear the shirt as we walk?”
“As I am taking over Ho’s walk, I reserve the right – as a walker – to decide that as I see fit.”
My shoulders slumped. Why was she so difficult? Brandy always seemed to know how to leverage advantage to maximum effect.
“However,” she said, locking my eyes with her gaze. “If we go today, outside of your mailgirl time, for the first half of the walkies I’ll let you keep the shirt on.”
“So two walks today?” I asked, not wanting to say walkies.
She nodded.
“I want to feel comfortable in the neighborhood around my new home. Can I wear the shirt on the cafe-side, and be naked near the marketing building during this walk?” I couldn’t believe I was negotiating where I’d be naked outside during the daytime.
“You ask for a lot, but okay. You can hand me your shirt just after we leave.”
“During a quiet time at the cafe? And naked inside, not outside.” I wondered if I could trust her to return the shirt.
“Possibly. I can’t control how busy it might be.”
“If I agree to this… what about others making me walk naked on Main Street?”
“For the first two weeks, they will be your selections. Convince them you don’t want to.”
“I can do that?”
“Yes, but beforehand. Not while you’re Nine.”
I nodded, absorbing the information. I should have a meeting with everyone. A surreal, awkward meeting. I certainly wasn’t looking forward to it. I hoped that I could convince people to let me keep the shirt on, at least around main street. “When do you want to go for the latte?”
“I’ll let you know. So is that it?” she said, picking up her earbuds, holding them near her ears while waiting for an answer.
“Thank you,” I said, turning to go back to the standup meeting, but it was already over. Looking back at Brandy I realized that she made me pay a lot. Still, considering how much I didn’t want to be leashed by Ho, it felt like a bargain. An extra walk, outside of my mailgirl time, felt wickedly expensive. But then that is to be expected from that little demon. At least I had another yellow card, which felt good considering what I had to face today.
Looking around, I saw Becca motioning for me to come over. She was sitting with Sam and Hannah, beside a large window facing the sea, with endless little clouds peppering the blue sky. The waves were pounding the shore, beckoning the runner in me.
“What was that all about?” Becca asked, looking at me tentatively, forcing me to pull my gaze from the ocean.
“Ahh well, I negotiated my way out of letting Ho – walk me on a leash,” I said. “She’s off the list.”
“Good,” Becca said, smiling. “That seemed too much to me as well,” she added, with an approving nod.
Her praise warmed me, causing me to humbly nod in agreement with her.
“I hope you negotiated some extra compensation for your mailgirl app testing as well, I didn’t see anything in the contract,” Becca added.
“It’s covered. You probably just skimmed over it. I’m well compensated.”
“Oh good then… I’m glad.”
Sam was looking at my nipples with a frown on her face. “This doesn’t seem much better than before,” she said, not as flippant as she usually was. She appeared to be embarrassed for me.
Hannah jumped to my defense. “That’s a terrible thing to say, Sam! She looks beautiful and you can’t see so much when she’s just a little further away.”
Sam scratched her head. “So every person she meets, it’s like she’s stripping completely naked for them?”
I crossed my arms. “If I’m shopping, maybe a bag can cover my front as I load groceries,” I offered, thinking that Ben was definitely going to do all the shopping. But then I noticed that I had no idea how long he was going to stay at my place.
Sam closed her laptop lid. “So you are saying that you would actually shop dressed like that? Out on Main Street?”
“I… ahh…”
Becca put an arm on my shoulders. “Of course she will. That’s where we are going today on her first walk. I’m going to make sure she doesn’t starve and isn’t dependent on anyone. Help her break the ice with that daring shirt by helping her shop in the supermarket in her neighborhood.”
I was stunned and felt the blood draining from my face as I comprehended what Becca was saying. Just thinking about it made my heart rate increase.
“Can I come?” Hannah asked excitedly, but then she stopped smiling when she saw my concerned look.
Sam scowled. “So what Becca? You’re going to leash her down Main Street? Drag her into a busy supermarket? Did you forget that she doesn’t like being seen naked?” she grinned. “I guess it’s easy to forget about that,” but then she scowled again. “That seems kinda bad. And with the leash, it would be extra humiliating.”
“I won’t use the leash,” Becca said, defending herself. She looked unsure suddenly, looking back at me again.
Hannah looked confused. “We can do that? Not use the leash?”
“Of course. It’s not part of her RA rules and it’s not part of her mailgirl obligations. Besides, I say the walker can decide this detail,” Becca said. “If we go strictly by the book, only use the leash if it’s dark outside or she’s naked.”
That sounded logical and I liked where this was going.
“But what about…” Hannah started.
Becca cut her off. “About what? That piece of paper Sarah had?”
“Isn’t that part of her mailgirl duties?”
Becca folded her arms. “It’s not part of ‘Confessions – standard mailgirl etiquette’. While I kind of agree with the humane concept of helping Emi get used to public nudity for this ACE event, I think Sarah and Brandy know they are pushing it with this walkies thing. I say the leash is totally optional. Spread the word, Hannah.”
Hannah nodded. “Okay, I will.”
Hearing this filled me with relief. When the time came to have a conversation with everyone that planned to walk me I really needed to emphasize that I don’t want to be leashed when wearing the shirt. Plus I didn’t need to be walked in populated areas or near my home. “I… ahh, thank you, Becca,” was all I could manage. Still, I didn’t like the idea of shopping in this shirt, while wearing the collar. My hand went to the collar, feeling the edges. However, without the leash, it would be less humiliating.
“That’s an interesting collar. Can I?” Hannah said, holding out her hand.
Sam laughed. “You want to try it on!”
“So what if I do?” Hannah blushed, still holding out her hand.
“I… ahh don’t have the key,” I said, embarrassed about how that might look.
Becca glanced around. “Who does?” she asked, settling her eyes on Sarah.
“Brandy,” I said, gesturing over to where she was sitting.
“Okay, good. Follow me,” she said, leading me over to the little demon.
Brandy looked up, pulling out her earbuds.
“Got Emi’s key?” Becca asked in a friendly voice.
“Of course,” Brandy said, fishing it out, handing it to Becca while giving me a meaningful look.
I wondered what that look was for, then it hit me. I was supposed to protect Brandy from Becca, especially about the leash and collar. Suddenly I didn’t know what to do.
Becca held out her hand. “I need the spare too. I want Emi to keep it at her home, so she can take it off there.”
Brandy again reached into her bag, her wallet, and fished out the second key – giving it to Becca.
I was surprised that Brandy would give both keys over so easily. Was she waiting for me to do something? “Ahh… that’s okay Becca,” I said, taking one of the keys from her. I glanced at both women. “I… I’m going to let Brandy hold on to this key for now. I’ll take the other one home,“ I said as I passed the key back to Brandy. I hated the thought that I was helping the enemy and shunning assistance from a friend, but somehow this move felt wise.
Brandy took it and placed it into her wallet without looking at me or acknowledging any thanks. But that was okay, I knew exactly how grateful she was. She owed me one now.
Becca looked at me oddly as she walked around me with the key. I felt her hands on the collar and I got goosebumps from her touch as I felt the key slide in. The tick as it unlocked felt odd and as she pulled the collar away the fresh tropical air caressed my neck. Somehow I felt like my old self again. Was there really a difference? Was the collar making me feel submissive? Likely that was the purpose of the device. It was bizarre. I would have to be on guard for the psychological aspects of this thing.
Hannah came bounding up and Becca handed the collar to her. She put it on immediately, pulling out her phone. She started snapping selfies.
We all watched Hannah as she made a spectacle out of herself. Even Brandy smiled, curiously tilting her head in thought.
Sam walked over to get a closer look. “Oh lord, here we go,” she said, laughing. “You can’t have Hannah and Becca anywhere near that kind of stuff!”
Glancing at Brandy, I saw that she seemed to be enjoying this new information.
Hannah then removed it and started to put it on Becca who tried to step back but it was too late. Hannah clicked it shut.
“Did you lock it?” Becca asked, looking annoyed.
“No, it’s just shut… oh my God,” Hannah squealed as Becca blushed. “You are totally hot for the collar!” she said as she snapped some photos of Becca.
Becca turned this way and that, trying to hide her blushing face from the camera. She turned around trying to pull off the collar, fumbling with it. “Does anyone know where the leash is?” she asked, pretending none of that just happened.
I saw Brandy digging in her bag, while Becca made a good show of hiding her embarrassment, waiting impatiently for the leash.
“Oh Becca, I would love to try it with the leash,” Hannah said excitedly.
“Not now, Hannah. Get a hold of yourself,” Becca scowled as she received the leash from Brandy. Turning, Becca walked to the whiteboard and put the key on the tray below, and dangled the leash off the edge, while she fumbled with the collar, finally pulling it off. “While Emi’s inside, this is where we will keep the permit,” she announced loudly, hanging the collar next to the leash.
Sam, Becca, Hannah and I gathered at the whiteboard and we all looked at the dangling collar.
Becca reached out and touched it gently. “You can take the key home with you tonight. Don’t forget, or your shower will be awkward,” she said, running her fingertips over the permit and then along the side and over the back lock.
We were all still watching the collar, mesmerized as a group. “Right,” I said, realizing that was important. I needed to remember to take the key home.
Sam laughed, causing Becca to stop touching the collar. “You two wannabes will totally be ‘studying’ this collar whenever you get a chance. That’s why you put it here, obviously.”
Hannah suddenly became animated. “Oh, what a great idea! Becca let’s…”
Becca shook her head sharply at Hannah, causing her to stop speaking. “I just want Emi to not be overly bothered with this. She only needs the permit for walking outside.”
“Yeah right,” Sam said. “Why didn’t you push to get rid of the collar and leash altogether? The permit doesn’t need to be on a collar. They are just trying to make this harder for Emi.”
Hannah looked alarmed. “What’s wrong with the collar? It looks nice!”
Becca waved her off. “Look, Sam… it’s not ideal, but a little collar play was in the story… plus it does align with the ACE stuff. I’m fine with it if we keep it to just outside wearing, plus it does make it harder to steal it. Frankly, I like the security aspect. Emi shouldn’t be alone when naked.”
“Also after dark, even in this shirt… I still need the leash.” It was embarrassing to talk about this.
Sam grinned bitterly, shaking her head. “You mailgirl bitches… all sticking together. I shouldn’t be surprised.”
Hannah looked sympathetic, touching Sam’s arm. “You don’t have to feel left out Sam,” she said, picking up the collar. “Don’t knock it until you try it!” she said enthusiastically as she tried to put it on Sam.
Sam dodged her. “Get away from me you freak!”
The playful antics of my teammates were uplifting. As I watched Sam and Hannah dance around, playing, I realized that without them all of this would be so much harder. A flood of emotion hit me as I realized how much I needed them to get through all this.
Becca put her hand up, scowling after glancing at me. “Stop it you guys… you’re making Emi upset.”
“Oh, sorry Emi!” Hannah blurted. “Is it okay if we play with your collar?” she asked, looking serious.
I laughed and stepped forward hugging her. “God I love you, Hannah,” I squeezed her and looked up at the other two. “Group hug?”
Becca smiled and joined in.
Tentatively, Sam also joined the hug. “At least this is less pervy now that you have a shirt on,” she added, causing everyone to laugh.
After that, I tried to pull some sanity back into our day, and we did a little powwow going over the high-level designs of the app. It was nice to get back into normal developer stuff, but I saw Sarah still rounding the corners of mailgirl mats on the other side of the room. She would be ready for me soon.
Looking over to the whiteboard, the collar dangling from it, I wondered if it was safe to leave it there during the day. At least I would bring the key home tonight. Was it really that simple – to just ask Brandy like that? Could I have done the same? Just asked Brandy for the key? Now that I thought about it, it seemed silly that the thought hadn’t occurred to me.
Out the corner of my eye, I saw Sarah wave at me discreetly.
I looked at her with wide eyes as she nodded sympathetically, indicating it was time.
—————————————————
Feel free to emailreaderman AT gmail DOT com if you don’t like to post public comments. I would love to hear from you!
ReaderMan
So time being Emi’s first Mailgirl test? I liked the playfulness of the collar with all the girls. I suspect a few wouldn’t mind wearing one officially for a time. It seems they get wet thinking about it. When is Emi going to finish reading the rest of the Seahawk story? So she knows what is and isn’t allowed.
She can rely on her friends. She’s too busy now to be reading fiction.
I really like the change to the first-person Point-of-View! At first it felt a bit strange but after a few paragraphs it felt completely natural. I think the strong point of your writing are the dialogs. Now adding Emi’s thoughts and feelings enhances this even more.
I am happy that Becca and Hannah are back again in the story. I love how especially Hannah is so excited about the collar. Looks like she can’t wait to try the collar with the leash on herself. But maybe Sam keeps Becca’s and Hannah’s feet on the ground. Maybe only a little bit… To Hannah it is just an exciting game, whereas for Emi it is dead serious.
Brandy is really a fascinating character. Whereas Ho comes across (to me at least) as just evil, Brandy is much more interesting and intriguing. She certainly is very manipulative, but I am not sure if she is evil. Not entirely anyway.
Thanks. I agree. Maybe I should have done this sooner. But now feels right… just before – mailgirl time.
Yes, I love Hannah. And it’s cool that Becca seems drawn to it. I think Hannah magnifies Becca’s interest somehow. Hannah is proud, Becca is kind of shy about it. It’s a nice contrast. Also Hannah is more about getting others to do something.
I don’t think Ho is entirely evil. But yes, Brandy is interesting, to say the least.
It’s nice to hear friends want to help Emi. And they rightly understand they must help Emi be humiliated. I hope Emi doesn’t know all the rules and will find out what is expected of her.I think there will also be mistakes that have to be punished in some way. It’s going to be a difficult Monday Emi. Becca and Hannah seem to want the collar feel. But I don’t know if that would make Emi’s life too much easier.I had an idea. It would be funny if Emi had a bell. Attached around the waist at the front in such a way that it hits the clitoris lightly while running.He would alert people to the fact that Mailgirl is delivering the mail … and it could be sexually arousing
Yes, they want to help. But Emi needs to help herself too.
A blushing naked reindeer? Might be too noisy. 🙂
That’s an interesting idea Optima, I envisioned a clit piercing with a dangle chain that hits a girl’s clit or G spot when she walks or runs, but this bell idea is even better. Just because it isn’t in the Seahawk story, doesn’t mean it can’t be in this story. Brandy did say it would cost Emi something to not be under Ho’s thumb.
The subject of piercing and clapper hitting the clitoris was featured in Velcrofist’s novel “CASEY’S RISE”. I think you will like it . I liked the first series of “CASEY’S FALL” more. But they’re both really good. A fun story with interesting ideas and nice twists. I personally am not a fan of piercing. At least if the hero was forced to do so. I’m not saying that I don’t like this type of ornament. But considering Emi, it’s hard for me to imagine that she would want to.
Yes, Brandy needs to be careful. If she wants to keep Emi on this crazy path, she needs to be smart.
I really liked those stories too, and the stimulating effect of Casey’s clit-hood pierce was one of the highlights. I think in “Confessions”, there was a stipulation that the mailgirls couldn’t have any tattoos or pierces, but I can see this story has a bit of leeway in what parts of the Mailgirl universe it uses. I can imagine a point in the story, after Ho, Wang, and Ruth have found countless ways to embarrass Emi, that they make her get her nipples and clit-hood pierced and hang bells on them. And then everyone will hear the bells and know that a naked RA is about to arrive.
Emi’s not dumb. Because it’s not in the story, Emi can simply smile at the silly request.
As a rule, this is not your typical mailgirl story. The RA follows the history of Seahawk. And very well . Seahawk has established rules that may restrict the story’s development somewhat. Another thing is that it is more interesting if the main character is exposed, ashamed and humiliated. At least that’s my opinion. The character of Emi is well created in combination with a diverse environment.I am also sure that since there is a growing group of interested mailgirls, there is some evolution of rules and behavior in the environment.Although, as I mentioned, the piercing itself is not what I love.In any case, I am looking forward to the development of the situation.Can someone recommend similar stories? Or do you have favorite ENF story writers?
Two of my favorite ENF stories are at the newly-revived copy of the Leviticus website:
https://writingsofleviticus.grometsplaza.net/brigadoon.htm
Those Pictures by Blzr
The Rent by Leviticus
Other stories I really like are here:”Alice” series by Ewong
https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/viewtopic.php?t=2324
“The Surprise Assembly” by Katie
https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/viewtopic.php?t=1559
The Unintentional Nudist series by Track Jim, Donnylaja, Katie, and others https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/viewforum.php?f=47
Now that I think about it, you should just go to the All CMNF Forum fiction section. It’s a great resource, and has most of the stories that were on Indian Outlaw’s ASN forum.
https://allcmnf.thebeachclub-ii.net/index.php
I thought I’ve read all that but in fact I did not read the entire ‘Alice’ series by Ewong. That should totally be posted here!
Well the suggestion was a a small bell, possibly dangling from a belly chain, not a piercing. So it’s still a option. Something temporary.
I think you did a good job with the first-person narrative, but it feels like a rather abrupt change this deep in the story. Unless I missed it, this is the first time you’ve done so. If you want to do this, I would recommend either (1) go back later when you are revising and introduce this earlier a couple of times briefly so this isn’t the first time it happens, or (2) make the change at a division of the the story, in a “Part 2” sort of way, and then stick with it through that section. It depends on whether you want to switch back and forth or change it for long stretches. But I think you have to have some kind of methodology.
–
You also did a nice job with the playful interplay with the other girls — but there is potential risk here. It’s fine that Hannah and Becca are the ones who seem so eager to play Nine because they look nothing like Emi and could not be swapped in. But if you were to have too many other chicks acting this way then it could undermine your readers’ acceptance of the carefully plotted premise of your story — that Emi is THE ONE who must do this. You already established with the the sunglasses “disguise” and the Emi-meets-Nine video that a fair percentage of Asian women look sufficiently alike from a distance for this ruse to work (disclaimer: I am not the one who said “all Asians look alike”). Therefore, from a business perspective, Brandy would be smart to recruit an Asian chick who LIKES this in order to lessen the risk. But, of course, that would totally screw up our ENF story because we need our NF to be really E. So from a storytelling perspective you need to guard the already tenuous rationale that it HAS to be Emi.
–
Although it seems that Brandy holds all the cards, she has gambled the success of the entire project on Emi being Nine. Therefore, she should know if Emi becomes desperate enough she holds the power to burn the project to the ground. Doing so may be costly to her, but truly desperate people reach the point when they just don’t care about consequences anymore.
Hmm, I don’t remember her being specifically compensated in the contract. In fact, I remember pointing that out. Did you go back and change it?
Really? I would think that the LAST person Brandy wants to have a copy of the key is Emi herself. So what if Brandy also has a copy? That seems almost meaningless if Emi has one.
Pretty sure that’s something she is not likely to forget. (Unless, of course, our clever author conjures up a brilliant set of circumstances to make that happen).
I’m not sure why Emi would volunteer that. After all the “security” rationale is a contrivance by Brandy & Co in the first place. A naked or nearly naked woman out in public is not magically safer from malicious attack if another woman is walking her on a leash. If they were actually concerned about that kind of safety they would have an armed bodyguard following several paces behind. If you want Emi to say this, maybe have her glance at Brandy first and say it because she feels obligated to do so.
That’s really great news. As I said before, I really love this POV. But I agree with Molly, that it came quite abrupt, in the middle of chapter “Monday”, i.e., with “Monday Part 2”. With Monday a turning point in Emi’s life, as the first day of her becoming a mailgirl, maybe it could have already started with “Monday Part 1”. Maybe if you really start revising your story, this might be an option.
I think Brandy is aware of this. It showed when Emi wanted to get out of Ho walking her. First Brandy refused, but when she saw how disgusted Emi felt, she backed down and negotiated a way out for Emi.
In this respect I am more worried about Wang. I think she felt deeply hurt when Emi (in Wang’s opinion) desecrated her daughter grave. If such strong emotions determine Wang’s reaction, then she might not care about the success of the project and push Emi to her breaking point. I mean, she is doing things like this all the time.
I don’t think Emi volunteered for that. It was included in the Safety/ACE Amendment. As I understand, this is part of her Resort Ambassador duties, which is identical with her community service. What Emi can negotiate is the Mailgirl App contract. These are two different things, although I have the strong impression that Brandy tries to mix these two things.
No, I like the Bandy chapter as it is. If I change something it will be no more Monday Part 2.
I think Molly means, volunteer to say that at that moment.
The chapter “Monday – Part 1” is in my opinion near perfect. I guess you are right, you shouldn’t change anything. This was just a passing thought.
Damn, I completely misunderstood her. Just forget this comment.
What I mean’t was I might rename the chapters. So perhaps Chapter 19 – ‘Early Monday with Brandy’ and then this chapter (Monday – Part 2) can become Chapter 20.1 ‘Monday – Part 1’. That way the POV change aligns with a new chapter and also aligns with the start of her Mailgirl training sessions.
Glad that you liked it, as it’s a permanent change. All future chapters will be first person. Basically, it aligns with Emi becoming a part time mailgirl to test the app properly. Plus now I get to practice first person. Don’t worry, I think it will be better than before.
Thanks, yes I like the playful interplay stuff. Don’t worry, I have all this under control. My direction will likely be full of surprises, hopefully.
Silly us, we forgot that there was an hour of doing little contract details that we glazed over with a summary. Naturally, it was in there.
Realism. Plus this isn’t really focused on the bdsm. Emi doesn’t wear it all day or at home, so she does’t get a rash or can take showers, etc. It’s just for when she’s outside. The key always stays at home. Brandy can enjoy to unlock it for her before and after her daily walk, and when she comes or leaves work. Similar to being a part time mailgirl, she’s also a part time collar wearer, and now a part time leash user as well. I probably didn’t explain this very well in the chapter.
Despite how it looks with Brandy pushing ACE bdms trinkets, and mailgirl training, this is still as story about Emi mostly and her friends – making software. You are right, it’s a bit contrived that Emi needs someone to leash her for safety, especially since this island is safer than Japan.
So many interesting developments! Those regarding the collar surprised me – good surprises. I had assumed that Brandy would hold onto the keys and keep the collar firmly locked in place on Emi’s neck. I’m not opposed to such a direction, but it probably wouldn’t feel right for this story, especially not for Emi.
Speaking of Emi, I really like that she retains some control. She’ll have a key. She won’t have to wear the collar at night. And she also won’t have to wear it at work – at least not while performing her dev functions (assuming I am understanding correctly).
As I picture it, she’ll have to wear it to work (because it’s her nudity permit). And then she’ll have to go to Brandy to have it removed. I’m wondering what that will be like. I look forward to finding out. But then it will have to go back on during the day for her ‘walkies.’ Like Emi, I’m not big on that word. (For the story, yes; for Emi, no.) But that’s why it’s here, I presume – because it is demeaning.
But back to all this power that Emi supposedly has, the control that she retains. These Yellow Cards, for instance. Are they more for Brandy than Emi? Nice that Emi was able to negotiate and avoid something that would have been terrible for her (the walky with Ho). But look what she had to agree to. I guess Becca was right. Didn’t she say that Emi shouldn’t be doing her own negotiating? And yet I’m glad she is. Even if she comes up short in the deal, Emi still seems to leave feeling good about what happened. At least that’s what I have been noticing. So it may not be much, but if she’s happy, who’s to complain?
And this shirt that Emi has. It doesn’t sound like much. I guess, to Emi, it feels as if she is wearing something. She clings to it. It is a semblance of normality for her, I suppose. It’s all she has.
So now, if I am understanding correctly, she’ll be attempting to talk each of her friends into letting her keep it on during her walky with them (walky, walkies, walkier, walkiest).
But each of them will face a dilemma. On the one hand, Emi will be requesting less exposure. As they like her, they might be inclined to comply. On the other hand, if they really care about her, they’ll understand that they are doing her a favor if they help condition her for the extreme exposure she will no doubt face at the ACE event. What will each of them choose? I’m looking forward to finding out. No doubt there will be a nice variety of walky (wacky) experiences for Emi.
And Liz being last. That must mean that Emi trusts her the least of the ‘in’ group.
All the collar play this week was sure fun – a highlight – Hannah and Becca. Of course, I’m rooting for Sam. But probably because she is probably the least likely. As I imagine it, she’s probably the most reluctant to put on the collar and go naked – exactly why I am rooting for her. I know it won’t happen, and that’s okay. There are so many places this story can go from here – and ALL of them are fun. But Sam stripped and collared? In my mind, that could be the funnest. But again, this story will never go some of the places that I envisioned that it might early one. We’ll probably never see Ponygirl #9, for example. That’s fine. What RM has come up with is surely better that what I might have come up with.
And lastly, to the craft of writing. I’d say you managed a smooth transition into first person! I imagine that a portion of your readers might not have even noticed – there was more than a week in there. It will stand out to those who have done some writing. I notice it in particular, because I have been doing the same exact thing – writing in First Person POV for the first time. It seems more intimate. It’s like we are in Emi’s head. We were before, only now we are inside looking out. I’m sure that is a shallow sounding explanation, but if you’ve written both, maybe that will speak to you.
Brandy does indeed have the key and keeps the collar locked firmly on Emi’s neck, when needed. She would have given the key to Emi herself if Becca didn’t ask. Nobody want’s collar rash on their mailgirls, especially Brandy.
Yes, Brandy wants a normal looking mailgirl. And a strong developer to make her app. Outside of that she can enjoy putting the collar on Emi a couple times a day.
A very good question indeed. Brandy seems to like Emi to always have one, so that Emi has a choice. Kind of like having a safe-word. But better, because Brandy tends to negotiate more personal ENF time with Emi with whatever Emi wants to get out of.
Good observations. Plus people from a distance can’t see anything, so it’s enormously useful in that regard. She can run to work for example. Although wind and rain might be a problem.
Yes, Brandy is orchestrating stuff like this, hoping it yields interesting stories for her journal. It’s not all about prepping Emi for Ace Event.
Liz doesn’t have the best track record in this regard. And since the dev team plus Emi’s female team add up to 10, Emi had no choice but to pick, everyone.
Hannah isn’t usually super brave as well. Also she’s more of a pusher than a cosplayer, and a clever one, so if this is your wish then Hannah’s your best bet to get Sam tied up in some antics.
Trying to sway the writer eh? Planting seeds are we? I’m on to you. lol…
Thanks. I’ll certainly be watching your story closely, looking for techniques and such while I’m enjoying your exciting story. In third person I sometimes gravitated away from Emi, increasing the narrative distance. First person tends to gravitate in a better direction.
The switch to first person came as a surprise, but it feels fine somehow. It’s fun to now be a bit closer to Emi, to her thoughts. I liked this chapter, a good mix of serious talk and play…
And again, you play on our nerves with your closing sentence. Ah, but it’s good, keeps me eagerly awaiting the next chapter, a good mix of worry and anticipation.
Apart from Emi, of whom I really grew fond of, my favorite character is now Brandy.
I love the way these two negotiate things. Although Emi always thinks she achieved something during these negotiations and is happy about her success, I believe Brandy got the better part of the deal. Also during the contract negotiation or the deal in Cloud Nine, it was always Brandy who got what she wanted. I guess Becca was right when she called Emi the worst dealmaker ever.
Ok, avoiding to be walked by Ho probably is a big success, but what Brandy got was an additional, private walk with a naked Emi. When thinking of the scene when Brandy kissed Emi or when they were riding the bike, I have the suspicion that Brandy has some kind of crush on Emi.
I am very curious how this develops. I really love to read about Brandy.
Nice to see all my hard work finally paying off. I really wanted to make a big splash with Brandy when we first saw her a while back in Halloween. But somehow Jake seemed to outperform her in that scene.
For me the issue that clouded my first impressions of Brandy was that you were simultaneously introducing several new characters. For me, at least, that results in some dilution/confusion. This happens whenever (say) three women enter a room, and the writer describes their height, hair color, and breast size. One paragraph later, I won’t know if the redhead was tall and had big boobs, or was it the blonde, not wait, she was the stick-thin one, right? No, short and plump. Oh, wait … darn. In my mind, simultaneous introductions are to be avoided. Wasn’t there another new woman in the scene with Jake and Brandy?
Good advice. Yes, my growing cast of characters can be less than ideal. That said, I think things have settled down in that regard. Plus I will try to describe my active characters more often, thanks.
Love the story so far. But Becca says she isn’t going to use the leash. Aren’t the rules that if Emi is outside she must be leashed and someone has to hold it?Chris
The official rule is: outside naked or after dark (even with shirt), requires a leash. However, Brandy tried to sneak in some extra stuff. Becca is pushing back on that. Still its anyone’s guess how each walker will feel about it. This is essentially a war and both side are making tactical moves.
This was one of my favorite chapters. Emi getting upset and being willing to seriously negotiate about Ho walking her felt like one of the first breaks in her “everything is fine” attitude she’s had recently. I like confident Emi, but ENF is more fun when the F has limits and sometimes gets upset.
Another aspect of a story like this that I’d love to see more of is Emi being jealous of everyone else’s “normal” lives. At this point, her teammates are going shopping, going for walks, going out for food fully clothed. But not Emi. Does that make her embarrassed/horny/jealous/less than them?
I also keep hoping for more description of what it’s like wearing just a shirt— it could ride up. She’s feeling a breeze up there. Everyone else has pants.
That makes sense. Plus your suggestions sound reasonable as well. I’ll definitely be doing some of this. Thank’s for the feedback.
I’ve wondered about something similar, whether her subservient position as a mailgirl and RA will make the others treat her differently. In “Confessions…”, Barbara admitted to Nine that she was conducting a psychological experiment of sorts similar to the one she participated in at college (guards and prisoners). She wanted to see if she could create a servant class that all the employees would treat as lesser beings.
I wonder if some of the team will start to do that. Probably not Sam, but Becca & Hannah might be torn between supporting Emi and living as a mailgirl vicariously through her. The rest of the team don’t know her as well; Liz would be the one I’d suspect to give into the impulse to treat her as a second-class citizen. And will Emi and Ben’s relationship survive it? Guess I’ll have to keep reading to find out.
Yes, who knows if Brandy sees herself as similar to Barbara, or not. There are already big differences, but are there overlaps as well?
I like to think that this is fairly obvious.
Love these kinds of speculations shmeckle. Thanks for sharing.
I think that’s fine. At some point in your revising, though, I would recommend that you consider changing your numbering so this does not begin at “Chapter 19.2.” It would be best if you could bring the first section to something of a conclusion with some cliffhanger-type wording leading into the next section in which Emi is now narrating.
–
Or not.
That sounds like good advice. I guess it did seem odd. The plan was a tiny chapter to break the ice. But then it doubled in size. I’ll probably just adjust the numbering or chapter names or something, but maybe later.
A standup meeting in a see-through-shirt. I wonder what that’s like. It’s a good thing all those guys have seen Emi naked a lot already, but still it’s admirable they can keep their mind on the meeting. They’re all looking at her neck, but I imagine it’s not just because of the collar that’s new for them, but also try avoid looking through her shirt. Insane indeed.
It’s nice to hear more of Emi’s thoughts and worries throughout this chapter, and I’m looking forward to more of that. Emi is an amazing character, and I’ve often wondered how she manages to get through all the bad shit that comes her way.
We don’t see much of Ben this chapter, but I imagine he’s somewhat staying low profile. No one but Liz knows he’s with Emi now, right? From Sarah’s team, I mean. Knowing Liz, she might spill that juicy tidbit of information very soon. Unless she keeps quiet about it because she doesn’t like it herself…hmmm.
The back and forth with Brandy. Others have commented how it’s always Brandy that wins in these exchanges. I suppose that’s true, but though Emi herself thinks about that as well. Brandy made Emi ‘pay a lot’, but ‘it felt like a bargain’.
I have to say, all this mailgirl stuff makes me nervous. I know almost nothing about any of it, probably less than Emi herself. However, I’ve seen some of the comments from others that give me a decent idea of what may be in store for the part time nude software dev.
The collar play by the team…it was more fun for me than I expected, since I hate it when Emi has to wear it. I guess choice is important. Hannah is so much fun, probably my favorite after Emi, despite her strange tastes in play.
Becca, Brandy, Brandy, Becca, Emi in between. It’s a dangerous place to be between those two.
And next up… Sarah… 10 minutes of posture practice?
There is only one way to find out. 😉
Ahh… I wonder if I should have played that up a bit more, not just now but in the past stand-ups.
Nice reminder. Thanks. I need to do more of that. Put it helped that you specified some particular info that you are curious about.
Yes, that’s right.
Everyone always assumes the worst of poor innocent Liz. Okay, she’s not always that innocent.
Especially about Ho, as you recall, Emi had a revenge-daydream about that woman. So to have that daydream be reversed was just too much for Emi.
Nobody knows what will happen, for sure.
I’m very glad that you finally could enjoy the collar a little. Thanks, I really like Hannah too! She is an excellent contrast to the drama.
Haha, yes I suppose.
That’s a fair guess.
It’s nice to see the story continue. Still, it seems to me that it is better to describe Emi from the point of view of a third person. Yes, you can get into her image, but you also need to go out of it. Otherwise, it may happen that you will not get out of it and will remain naked Emi on a leash. Although it seems impossible. Can also to describe Emi in the third person. As if you are outside and see more. You’re really good at describe.
For some reason, I see how Brandy hints to Emi to put the collar on, because if it gets lost, then Emi will have to pay about 4 thousand dollars and Emi puts it on and does not take it off anymore. After all, this is her property, the gift from Brandy, and not some kind of toy.
I would also like to add (again remind you) that in order to be trapped, there must be a struggle, there must be resistance. There must also be enemies (when viewed relative to Emi). Few friends and many enemies, less truth, more betrayals, more violations of agreements, both on the part of Emi and from other parties. More hate, more seriousness.
Well, accordingly, that to get out of the trap is a lot of love, a lot of friends, more truth, compliance with the rules, agreements, more fun.
I would like to see Emi climb into this trap, then understand more about life and begins to get out of the trap and suddenly a happy ending, for example, offers her the post of prime minister on the islands, and of course naked.
Thanks pavel_ser. The story has shifted to first person because that’s tradition with many mailgirl stories because we like to know what these girls are thinking and feeling. Also, as a writer, I am interested to see what I can accomplish with this new perspective. Not just with Emi while testing the app or training to be a proper mailgirl, but also outside of work as well. It gives me new energy.
I have noticed that this collar seems to draw an unusual amount of attention from readers. To Emi, it’s just an embarrassing form of protection (permit). It might also have some minor psychological effect as well. It’s more interesting if we can see the difference without the collar and with the collar. Having it on all the time would be less interesting, and could interrupt her serious work of making the mailgirl app. We can’t really have a mailgirl without the app. There is a lot at play and this is a delicate balancing act. Brandy knows that if she pushes too hard, the experimental project will fail.
Good to know that you like drama. I do too. Some like the light antics, some like the drama. I think both types of scenes are much better when they can contrast with each other.
Will there be more Emi this week? 🙂
Sorry not this week.
I’m trying to learn how to write smaller chapters and post more frequently. So hoping to eventually get down to every second week. However, this being the first mailgirl-like chapter I decided to give myself an extra week as it is my first time writing something like this. However, I also wasn’t feeling well and then had some writers block and so lost another week. So what that means, is that right now I am loosely shooting to post on Monday, the 31st of May.
So we will see how that goes. Thanks for asking.