It’s nice to see the story continue. Still, it seems to me that it is better to describe Emi from the point of view of a third person.

Thanks pavel_ser. The story has shifted to first person because that’s tradition with many mailgirl stories because we like to know what these girls are thinking and feeling. Also, as a writer, I am interested to see what I can accomplish with this new perspective. Not just with Emi while testing the app or training to be a proper mailgirl, but also outside of work as well. It gives me new energy.

After all, this is her property, the gift from Brandy, and not some kind of toy.

I have noticed that this collar seems to draw an unusual amount of attention from readers. To Emi, it’s just an embarrassing form of protection (permit). It might also have some minor psychological effect as well. It’s more interesting if we can see the difference without the collar and with the collar. Having it on all the time would be less interesting, and could interrupt her serious work of making the mailgirl app. We can’t really have a mailgirl without the app. There is a lot at play and this is a delicate balancing act. Brandy knows that if she pushes too hard, the experimental project will fail.

 I would also like to add (again remind you) that in order to be trapped, there must be a struggle, there must be resistance. There must also be enemies (when viewed relative to Emi). Few friends and many enemies, less truth, more betrayals, more violations of agreements, both on the part of Emi and from other parties. More hate, more seriousness.Well, accordingly, that to get out of the trap is a lot of love, a lot of friends, more truth, compliance with the rules, agreements, more fun.

Good to know that you like drama. I do too. Some like the light antics, some like the drama. I think both types of scenes are much better when they can contrast with each other.

“…do you promise to be a model mailgirl?”
I nodded again.

It’s nice to see the story continue. Still, it seems to me that it is better to describe Emi from the point of view of a third person. Yes, you can get into her image, but you also need to go out of it. Otherwise, it may happen that you will not get out of it and will remain naked Emi on a leash. Although it seems impossible. Can also to describe Emi in the third person. As if you are outside and see more. You’re really good at describe.
For some reason, I see how Brandy hints to Emi to put the collar on, because if it gets lost, then Emi will have to pay about 4 thousand dollars and Emi puts it on and does not take it off anymore. After all, this is her property, the gift from Brandy, and not some kind of toy.
I would also like to add (again remind you) that in order to be trapped, there must be a struggle, there must be resistance. There must also be enemies (when viewed relative to Emi). Few friends and many enemies, less truth, more betrayals, more violations of agreements, both on the part of Emi and from other parties. More hate, more seriousness.
Well, accordingly, that to get out of the trap is a lot of love, a lot of friends, more truth, compliance with the rules, agreements, more fun.
I would like to see Emi climb into this trap, then understand more about life and begins to get out of the trap and suddenly a happy ending, for example, offers her the post of prime minister on the islands, and of course naked.

A standup meeting in a see-through-shirt. I wonder what that’s like.

There is only one way to find out. 😉

It’s a good thing all those guys have seen Emi naked a lot already, but still it’s admirable they can keep their mind on the meeting.

Ahh… I wonder if I should have played that up a bit more, not just now but in the past stand-ups.

It’s nice to hear more of Emi’s thoughts and worries throughout this chapter, and I’m looking forward to more of that. Emi is an amazing character, and I’ve often wondered how she manages to get through all the bad shit that comes her way.

Nice reminder. Thanks. I need to do more of that. Put it helped that you specified some particular info that you are curious about.

 We don’t see much of Ben this chapter, but I imagine he’s somewhat staying low profile. No one but Liz knows he’s with Emi now, right? From Sarah’s team, I mean.

Yes, that’s right.

Knowing Liz, she might spill that juicy tidbit of information very soon. Unless she keeps quiet about it because she doesn’t like it herself…hmmm.

Everyone always assumes the worst of poor innocent Liz. Okay, she’s not always that innocent.

The back and forth with Brandy. Others have commented how it’s always Brandy that wins in these exchanges. I suppose that’s true, but though Emi herself thinks about that as well. Brandy made Emi ‘pay a lot’, but ‘it felt like a bargain’.

Especially about Ho, as you recall, Emi had a revenge-daydream about that woman. So to have that daydream be reversed was just too much for Emi.

I have to say, all this mailgirl stuff makes me nervous. I know almost nothing about any of it, probably less than Emi herself. However, I’ve seen some of the comments from others that give me a decent idea of what may be in store for the part time nude software dev.

Nobody knows what will happen, for sure.

The collar play by the team…it was more fun for me than I expected, since I hate it when Emi has to wear it. I guess choice is important. Hannah is so much fun, probably my favorite after Emi, despite her strange tastes in play.

I’m very glad that you finally could enjoy the collar a little. Thanks, I really like Hannah too! She is an excellent contrast to the drama.

Becca, Brandy, Brandy, Becca, Emi in between. It’s a dangerous place to be between those two.

Haha, yes I suppose.

And next up… Sarah… 10 minutes of posture practice?

That’s a fair guess.

What I mean’t was I might rename the chapters. So perhaps Chapter 19 – ‘Early Monday with Brandy’ and then this chapter (Monday – Part 2) can become Chapter 20.1 ‘Monday – Part 1’. That way the POV change aligns with a new chapter and also aligns with the start of her Mailgirl training sessions.

The chapter “Monday – Part 1” is in my opinion near perfect. I guess you are right, you shouldn’t change anything. This was just a passing thought.

“I don’t think Emi volunteered for that.”
I think Molly means, volunteer to say that at that moment.

Damn, I completely misunderstood her. Just forget this comment.

Good advice. Yes, my growing cast of characters can be less than ideal. That said, I think things have settled down in that regard. Plus I will try to describe my active characters more often, thanks.

But I agree with Molly, that it came quite abrupt, in the middle of chapter “Monday”, i.e., with “Monday Part 2”. With Monday a turning point in Emi’s life, as the first day of her becoming a mailgirl, maybe it could have already started with “Monday Part 1”. Maybe if you really start revising your story, this might be an option.

No, I like the Bandy chapter as it is. If I change something it will be no more Monday Part 2.

I don’t think Emi volunteered for that.

I think Molly means, volunteer to say that at that moment.