Introduction: This is a story of a guy that everything went wrong, and the guy ended up in an one year Permanent Nude (PN) conviction by the local court. PN is a legal punishment in which the convicted person has to leave all the clothes and remain stark naked for a specific period. The guy of the story, is the first ever PN punished person. Read how was he was trapped in all this situation and how he felt as soon as his worst day of his life begun. It is my first attempt to write a short story, so I would appreciate any feedback. English is not my mother language so please forgive me any mistakes
Friday morning: The nightmare begins
Last Friday seemed to be a normal day of my life. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning and I got prepared to get to my work. As usual, I had a 20 minutes drive before arriving at the premises of the company I am working for. I usually take the public transport but this morning, I don’t know why, I decided to drive to work by car. Unexpectedly, although it was 7:40 am, there was almost no traffic at the streets, and at some point, without realizing it, I exceeded the speed limit of the city center. I was driving by 54 kph with a speed limit of 50. A police car was at the next corner of the street and they signaled me to stop at the right side of the road.
-Good morning sir, police officer said.
-Good morning, I replied.
-Can I have your papers please?
-Sure, I said, and I gave my driving license.
-You are driving by 54 kph. You exceeded the speed limit and we have to impose you a fine of 20 USD.
-I am sorry for that, but I didn’t realize it. It was just 4 kph. Not a big deal.
-Seriously? He asked me angrily. Just 4 kph? Ok Mr, if you think it is not a big deal, go to the court and explain it to the judge.
So instead of imposing the fine, the police officer prepared the paper for the court and submitted it electronically into the system. For such misdemeanor cases, of low significance, the person should appear to the court the next working day, that was next Monday for my case. A lawyer is not required in such cases. I continued frustrated my drive to my work, but without even expecting the nightmare that would follow.
I finished my work in the afternoon and I drove back home. After I finished my lunch, I did my favorite habit. I opened my tablet to read the daily news. While I was scrolling down, I read a very strange news. The city council was thinking to implement Permanent Nudity as a way of punishment. The proposal was done and set for discussion by a city councilor. At this point I have to mention something about the city law. Every proposal for discussion and voting should have at least the signature of 1o councilors in order to be raised for discussion. Exceptionally, every councilor has the right to raise one point for discussion without any other signature once during the 4-years service. Consequently the proposal for the PN punishment would be discussed in the forthcoming meeting, which was on Saturday morning. I shut down my tablet and I laughed at this news. Stupid people, I said to my self. What did he have in mind when he raised this as point of discussion? He spent his proposal right for something like that? What does he expect to happen? Does he ever expect to set nudity as a way of punishment?
At night, I went to sleep without even thinking about that silly news that I read. I only felt a little bit anxious about the forthcoming court. But I shouldn’t be. I just have to be there on Monday morning, I will pay a small fine and that’s it.
Saturday morning: The big surprise
On Saturday morning I woke up and I got prepared for the weekend. Some shopping, supermarket etc. Last week was a difficult week at work and I had to rest a little bit during weekend. While I was following my routine, in the conference room of the town hall, the points of the daily agenda were discussed. The first issue to be discussed, was the proposal for PN punishment. As it was expected, there were many objections and arguments by most of the city councilors. Despite that, there were 2-3 more councilors that found the idea interesting, and that it was worth to at least try it. Unexpectedly, and in order to avoid additional conflicts and to save time for more urgent matters of the agenda, the majority of the council took a strange decision. They would impose a PN punishment to one guy or girl, for one year as a test and they would discuss again the issue after one year. With this decision, they stopped the discussion about this point and they made sure that it wouldn’t be discussed again for the next one year. The choice of the person would be done randomly, among the forthcoming courts. No nature of crime was clarified. It could be for any person that was found guilty for whatever reason.
Monday morning: The court day
It was already Monday and I woke up earlier than usual because I had to appear to the court. It was a routine process, but I had to be there before 7:30 to get informed about the exact time of my turn. I put 50 USD in my wallet and I left home, since the highest fine for such cases is only 20 USD.I was not anxious about the money but more about the time I should spend. I had informed my company about it, but I didn’t want to be too late.
Meanwhile, already from 7:00 am, at the town hall, the civil clerks were taking care of Saturday city council’s decisions and sent the related correspondence to the interested parties. One of them sent an email to the courts, that a guy or girl should be chosen for one year of PN punishment. Mistakenly, the email was sent with a red flag, meaning with high importance, and it should be executed immediately. There was no direction regarding the nature of the crime. The only thing that should be taken into consideration was the certainty of guilt. The judge should be 100% sure for the accusation, so that the convicted person wouldn’t appeal to the decision.
As soon as the secretariat of the city court received the red flagged email, they immediately forwarded it to the judges, emphasizing that it was sent with high importance and that action should be taken immediately, meaning that the PN punishment should be imposed today to the eligible person.
When I arrived, there were many people waiting their turn but most of the trials were suspended and postponed. The lawyers of the city began a strike for 24 hours. As a result only cases that a lawyer was not mandatory would be forwarded.
I was the very first in the line and I would enter the court at 08:00 am. I regarded it as a big luck because I would end soon, I would pay my fine and I could go to work after. I couldn’t even think what would happen next.
It was already 08:00 and I entered the courtroom. I heard my name and I walked forward.
-Hello Mr…, the judge said.
-Good morning, I replied.
-As I read here, you were driving in the city center by 54 kph. The police officer took photos of your car, your driving license, your ID card and one photo of your face when he stopped you at the street.
-Ah………
-Since I am entitled to find one person for PN punishment as soon as possible, and since most of the trials today were suspended, I would kindly ask you to give all your clothes and your shoes to the police officer.
-But your honor it was just 4 kph, I mumbled….
-I know, but I want to make sure that I will find the PN person today. I continue… You are not allowed to wear any kind of clothing, underwear, socks or shoes for the next one year. You are also not allowed to use any kind of fabric or towel to cover any part of your body. You are not allowed to use your car in the city. You should only use the public transport for all your movements inside the city. As a PN, a free pass to public transport is granted to you, as a result of your car seizure. The decision comes into force as of now. As I said, you are asked to give all your clothes to the police officer. You will be given a paper by the court, as a proof that you are convicted to 1 year of PN punishment. You will present it to everyone who wants to treat you differently because of your nudity. Your employer cannot neither fire you during this 1-year period nor change your salary or your position. No shop or establishment can prevent you from entering or deny to service you. The meeting is over. Who is next?
In a state of shock I was lead by the police officer outside the courtroom, in a nearby office to give all my clothes. I started mechanically getting stripped. I had a terrible headache and I couldn’t even think about the whole situation. As soon an I was stark naked, I was lead outside the building. I was already naked at street. My new life for the next one year just begun. People around me were looking at my naked body. A group of young boys and girls took photos. I walked to the nearest subway station, to go to work. The only positive thing is that it was a sunny day and the temperature was already 25C (77F)
I reached the subway station and I entered the train. It was just now that I started realizing my situation. Now, I have to be naked for the next one year. How can this really happen? Why did they do this to me? What will I say to my parents, my relatives, my friends, my colleagues and my neighbors? Why did they choose me out of 1000 people? Why am I so unlucky?
Good start. If you break up your larger paragraphs a little more and use quotes in your dialog then you will attract more readers (commenters).
“Good morning Sir,” said the police officer.
The police officer leaned forward. “Good morning Sir,” he said, adjusting his sunglasses while looking around at the inside of my car.
The place officer smiled. “Good morning Sir,” he said, watching me closely.”
Good morning Sir,” the police office said. He didn’t look happy.
Actually I’m not sure if Sir is capitalized. Thanks for posting!
Thank you very much for your comment. If I update the story with additional pages. for the rest days of the 1year PN period, I will take your remarks into consideration
Ulysses was published 100 years ago next week and Joyce got away with using dashes for dialogue like that, but he was James Joyce. 🙂
Thank you very much for the time you spent to read my first story and the comment you did
Solid first outing. I may not be a writer, but I am an avid reader. I can see a promising future ahead for you.
Thank you very much for your time to read my story and your comment. I hope you enjoyed the scenario of my story
I didn’t know about the dashes thing. Still it’s probably fallen out of fashion, right?
For sure, I have seen dashes for dialogues in greek text. But maybe you are right. This was in old books and maybe it is already out of fashion
Short story but interesting senario. Everything went really wrong to the pour guy. Life sometimes can be extremelly strict and unfair. I hope he will get used to his new conditions soon for his own sake
I am really happy that you liked my scenario. I hope that you will also like the next parts of the naked life of our poor unlucky guy
If you ever plan on continuing the story, then maybe since he is the first ever PN punishment maybe he gets interviewed by a news channel.
Thanks a lot Big D. I have already started writing the next part, and it is exactly this. A naked interview. What a coincidence… We have the same way of thinking. But it will be a forced naked interview, making the life of our naked guy even more embarrassing.
Urban, this is the second time that I have been on the same wavelength with one of the writers. Great minds think alike.
Glad do hear that Big D. And I hope you really liked my first story and I would be interested in your thoughts about the scenario and if you think I could add or extend something more. The second one will be a little bit longer because I want to include many questions. Maybe I will work on it during weekend
Don’t try to rush it. Take your time to make sure that the story is exactly what you want it to be. The story is really good so far. It can go in so many directions which makes things very interesting for the future of this story. Ultimately, just write what you would like to happen, and we would very much enjoy it.
Big D, finally I decided to work a little bit more on the initial story and I also added a dairy of the first day of the unlucky naked guy.
You can read it at https://nficstoryboard.com/content/the-unlucky-guy-updated/
I hope you will like it and I am expecting your feedback