Read the previous story here: Allegra Caught Naked
Part 2 of this story is updating here: The North Valley Tailor part 2
Geoff the Voyeur by CountryMouse
1 The North Valley Tailor
“If you don’t believe, you are going to weaken the connection to the other side,” said Allegra applying a fresh dab of dark purple lipstick. “So if you are going to just giggle through the whole thing go play Candy Crush till we’re done okay?”
Lakyn and Riley joined Allegra in staring impatiently at Gabi, the 4th girl sitting in their circle. The young woman was contentedly playing whatever game was on her phone.
“Gabi!” said Riley giving her friend a stiff elbow.
“Ow, Riley! That was my boob!”
“If it weren’t so damn big I might hit something else.”
“Girls!” Lakyn spoke with authority. Gabi and Riley settled down. “Go ahead Retro.”
Back home Allegra would have never been friends with these girls. The Dumb Blondes, as they called themselves, were literally college cheerleaders. Each of them was a pretty, blonde-haired, blue-eyed California girly girl. Precisely the kind of girls that Allegra and her best friend Jarod, who painted his nails and snuck into Rancid concerts with her, would have hated growing up.
Allegra left Jarod behind and had been going to school in California for a semester now. She already felt a dramatic shift in the dynamic of her life. First, it was hot on the left coast. Ungodly hot. It was no wonder these girls all walked around in tank tops and short shorts in January.
She first noticed the Blondes watching her as she worked out on the treadmill. Later they approached her in the shower, that is while she was naked in the shower. They were trying to find a short enough athletic girl who could learn stunts, when guys throw girls in the air and catch them, and invited her to try out. They awkwardly implied that she had a great body but that, with a wardrobe upgrade and some sun, she would be really hot.
Allegra was initially insulted, but Lakyn was in one of her classes and started talking her ear off as though they had been friends for years. Then they were all meeting for lunch, which was awkward because these valley girls were all legs year-round in their skirts and shorts. It made her feel like an overdressed, sexless monk in her leather jacket, jeans, and boots.
Today though, Allegra was back in black. She wore a girl-cut vintage Black Album era Metallica T-shirt over a violet long-sleeved athletic crop top with cuffs she could hook her thumbs into. Her long legs were wrapped in stylishly ruined striped hose, tiny Levi shorts that had been altered by Lakyn, and her favorite Dr. Marten work boots.
Every piece of clothing she owned had mysteriously gotten shorter since she met the Blondes. If they didn’t take the scissors to her clothes as she was wearing them, Allegra would find newly altered attire in her dresser after they visited her apartment.
Riley had unbelievable abs and was always pulling up the hems of her friend’s shirts to see their stomachs. She had attacked Allegra’s tops with scissors so that no matter what she tried to wear her belly button was always showing. At least the little gymnast was careful not to destroy the silkscreen print on Allegra’s prized band shirts.
Most of Allegra’s jeans had not survived the dreaded “North Valley Tailor” either. It was an unwritten rule between the 3 of them to show off as much leg as they possibly could at all times and Allegra was no exception. Lakyn made it her mission to get Allegra’s “baby giraffe” legs out in the sun and had turned all of her pants into shorts that would make Daisy Duke turn pink.
Her new friends always seemed to be conspiring to get her naked, but they were very nice about it. Allegra was shocked by how many guys approached her while she was in their company, but the Blondes ran interference unless she showed interest in someone, which she hadn’t. She was their friend and they wanted her to themselves for now.
Allegra adjusted her black fedora. She used a fire starter from her kitchen to light the candles at the center of the spell circle, an ornate rune made up of smaller circles, triangles, and illegible text. in the very center was a large star with many points, decisively more than 5 so that it couldn’t be mistaken for a pentagram.
On top of the spell circle was a thick foamy pad with a Ouija Board printed on it. Barb, Jarod’s mom, had given it to her for Christmas when she was 15 and thought she was a druid. She began again. “Girls, tonight we’re going to…”
“You look really pretty Alley!” Gabi interjected.
“O M G totally hot!” said Riley. “Like when Taylor Swift was a Goth.”
“…or Taylor Momsen. They’re going to be here next month. We should dress up like sexy vampires and go see them!” Lakyn chimed in.
“Um… that would be fucking awesome actually.”
“Taylor Sharpe!”
“You always say I look like a Taylor.” Allegra pondered pulling the black bridal veil back over her face. With a big smile, she commanded. “Now all of you shut up!”
The girls fidgeted but obeyed and gave her their attention. She passed the fire starter around instructing them to light the candles in front of them. Allegra took a deep breath and closed her dark-painted eyes. She moved into a more comfortable sitting position, hovered her silver pendulum over the Ouija Board, and spoke quietly “Gabi, Lakyn, Riley?”
Allegra waited for the wave of giggles to subside before she continued. “Tonight we are going to contact the spirit world to ask questions and seek guidance. I hope to speak with a specific spirit tonight…”
“… we will give him time to arrive. In the meantime, I will tell his story to draw him to us.”
Allegra opened her eyes to see that she had the girl’s attention. Riley looked bored, but Gabi and Lakyn were leaning forward. “Ladies, now I’m going to tell you about Geoff the Voyeur.”
2
“Geoff’s parents knew right from the beginning that he was going to be a troubled kid. He was a twin, his brother Stu…”
“His name was Stu?” Riley chuckled.
“His brother..!” Allegra stressed “…Cried when they were born, but Geoff did not. Geoff didn’t cry throughout his whole childhood, he didn’t talk either, not to anybody but Stu.”
“Geoff was mean to Stu. When they played Cowboys and Indians Geoff would insist on being the Indians just so he could tie Stu and put ants down his pants or light a fire by his feet.”
“Oh, that’s so mean!” Gabi commented.
“Geoff was bold and uninhibited.” Allegra continued. “He would climb up tall trees without fear.” Allegra licked her fingers and played with the candle flame in front of her. “One day Lyla, the teenage girl who lived across the street from Geoff saw him on the roof watching her as she dressed.
“She told Geoff’s parents but they didn’t take her seriously. Telling her that boys would be boys and that she should close her window when she’s going to be naked.
“Bold, mean, and uninhibited.” Gabi counted out on her fingers “Geoff is a psychopath!
“He was much worse than you could imagine. Doctors had never seen a case like his, but besides being a pervert Geoff hadn’t hurt anybody. That is until one day, Geoff and Stu were at the mall when they realized they couldn’t rent videos without their parent’s account.
“Geoff said he was going to flirt with the girl at the counter so that she would let them rent movies.”
“Do they go to a video store? I don’t get it. Why don’t they just watch something on their phones?” Lakyn asked.
“There were no phones when this story takes place!” Allegra said in a spooky voice. Her friends gasped in horror. “Didn’t you see Captain Marvel? She crashed landed in a Blockbuster.”
“Oh, I missed that one because I’m not a nerd!”
“Stu laughed at Geoff “Yeah right you’re a virgin!” Geoff said he wasn’t a virgin and that he had almost touched an old woman’s boob…”
At the word, ‘boob’ chaos broke out. Riley playfully honked Gabi’s chest and Lakyn made a lunge for Allegra’s breasts with her hands out but the taller girl used her legs to keep her at bay. “Stop it!”
“Where was I? They were at the mall, right? So while Stu was making fun of Geoff for still being a virgin at 13 years old, the girl at the counter said…
“Hey are those your bikes?”
“Geoff and Stu ran through the doors of the video store into the summer heat and saw that Lyla and 2 other girls had knocked their bikes over and were going to run over them with her car. Stu started crying “No! Don’t destroy my bike!”
“Lyla walked right up to Geoff, she had just graduated high school and was a few years older than Geoff and Stu.
“Hey look it’s Geoff the Voyeur.” said Lyla.
”Did you call me a Voyager?” Geoff said confused.
“No I said “Voyeur”, it’s the french word for pervert. You are dumb,” said Lyla. “Are these your bikes? I thought you just left them for us.”
“No, they’re ours!” Stu said, still crying really hard. “Me and Geoff’s and I’m Stu.”
“Stu?” said Lyla, “Like Stu-pid?” then she and her friends laughed at them.
“You like looking at naked girls Geoff? Huh? Did you get a boner looking at me naked?”
“Yes,” Geoff said because he did get a boner looking at Lyla. She was pretty and had big boobs.
“It was creepy and you’re ugly!” Lyla said. “I’m going to make you pay for spying on me.” Lyla slapped him.
“Geoff was really mad now, he didn’t like getting slapped. Stu shouted “No!” and ran after Lyla. She slapped Stu too sending him to the ground crying. All the girls laughed at him.”
“Now the other girls walked up to either side of Lyla making fists and tough faces. “Now, you’re going to take off your shirts and pants and walk home naked, or we’re going to beat you up.”
“Stu screamed “No! That will be so embarrassing!”
“Do it! Or we’ll make you take your underwear off too!” Lyla slapped Geoff again.
“This is where Geoff lost it, he had tried to talk his way out fighting, but seeing his twin brother on the ground crying and that smug look on Lyla’s face was too much. Geoff was suddenly filled with a rage he’d never felt before in his life.
“Geoff didn’t hesitate, he stepped forward, falling into a boxing stance he had learned from a class his dad enrolled him in. He put a hand on Lyla’s shoulder, she was taller than him because she was of legal age and older than him, then he made a fist…”
“Ooh” purred Gabi.
——————————–
3
“If you don’t want to do the seance just say so,” Allegra complained.
“Don’t stop Retro!” Gabi pleaded, “It was just getting good! I promise I’ll shut up.”
Allegra came back after a few minutes with water and some baked cheese crackers. She sank back into her seat. “Alright, where was I? Did he rip off their clothes yet?”
“He rips off their clothes?” said Riley, too excitedly.
“No, he was going to punch her in the stomach,” said Lakyn.
“No! He punches her in the face!” Allegra argued.
“Pretty sure a man wrote “Geoff the Voyeur”, he goes for the stomach.”
“Yeah stomach,” Riley and Gabi both agreed.
Allegra conceded and picked up her phone to continue reading. “Okay yes…”
“Geoff put a hand on one of Lyla’s shoulders and punched her really hard in the stomach. There was a loud slap as Geoff’s fist hit her soft belly. Lyla was caught completely off guard, jumped a foot in the air, and went “Oof!”. She made a funny face and held her tummy.
“Geoff liked the sound she made so he pulled her in close and walloped 2 more punches into her gut. “Oof, oof!”
“The ‘oofs’ are written in the story.”
Lakyn and Gabi both cringed bringing their hands to their own stomachs. Riley was more interested than ever “Then what did he do?”
Allegra shook her head at Riley, “Lyla’s knees buckled and she looked like she was going to fall down, but Geoff pulled her up by the hair and pounded 4 hard punches up into the girl’s soft gut. Then he shoved her up against her own car. ”
“He hit her like 8 times, that’s brutal!” Riley said wrapping her hands over her own tummy. “Ugh, that would suck!”
“That did happen to me once, I rear-ended another car” Gabi confessed, she laid on her back holding her stomach remembering the feeling “The driver was really pissed and she got out and punched me in the belly a bunch of times. It hurt for days.”
“Lyla was out of the fight, moaning and holding her beaten belly. Another girl, Rachel, said “Hey!” and charged Geoff. She threw 2 really fast punches but Geoff just stepped out of the way both times. Rachel was surprised none of her punches landed and dropped her guard unsure what to do next.
“Geoff did though. He stepped inside her guard and threw an uppercut into Rachel’s stomach. Her eyes went huge and she fell forward staggered onto the hood of Lyla’s car passed out.
“Poor girl!” Lakyn worried. “Imagine if some big dude did that to you?
“The last girl, Grace, was reluctant to fight, she held her hands up in surrender. Geoff was still angry though so he pushed her over to the front of the car with her friends and pounded Grace in the stomach twice. Oof! Oof!”
“There’s a lot of this,” said Allegra reading the room. The girls all laid on their backs moaning with sympathetic pain for the girls in the story. “It’s fucked up. Should I skip ahead?”
“Yeah!” Riley seconded. Gabi, still lying on the floor put her hands behind her head, stargazing at the ceiling of Allegra’s apartment, so Riley laid her head on the girl’s stomach. “Read the part where they get stripped!”
“Yes Retro. Please!” Lakyn implored. The petite young woman scooted over so she could rest her head in Allegra’s lap and encouraged their host to play with her hair.
Allegra scrolled down to the end of the fight scene. “Here it is…”
“…Then Geoff remembered Lyla’s hot body when he was looking through her window. He wanted to see it up close so he pulled down Lyla’s shorts and ripped off her shirt. Then he stripped Rachel and Grace’s clothes too. The three, 18-year-old teenagers, stood there in just their bras and panties holding their hands over their boobs and vaginas.
“See how you like being naked,” Geoff growled viciously. He reached for Lyla’s bra.
“Alright boobs!” Riley called out. While Gabi was firmly straight and Lakyn was queer, the retired gymnast swore she was pansexual. Yet, Allegra always felt like Riley was undressing her with her eyes. She was a bit too forward about her sexual attraction, but Riley was a serious babe, and Allegra couldn’t help but be flattered by the attention.
“No Geoff! I’m sorry I’ll leave you alone, just let me go home!”
“It’s too late,” said Geoff menacingly. “Stu, find me some scissors!”
But Stu stepped in front of his twin brother. “Geoff stop! That’s enough!”
“Why stop now?” Geoff said in a chilling voice. “They wanted this…”
“Security is coming Geoff look!” Stu was right. Geoff took one more lecherous look at the three helpless beauties and got on his bike. He peddled after his twin brother and got away from the mall cops.
4
“That was it?” Riley said angrily. “He just beats the shit out of some girls then wheels off like a loser? It was kind of hot but…”
“Well yeah, what were you expecting Rye?” Allegra had been so excited that the girls wanted to do a seance with her, but it was becoming a letdown. Her spirituality once meant a lot to her, it was the one thing with which she was at odds with Jarod, who said it was all nonsense.
There was a time when Allegra really believed she was communing with Aaron Kosminski, and casting glamours to influence people’s thoughts, commanding the other girls at school to leave her alone. It seemed to work, they acted like she didn’t exist, but then she realized it was because she was just a weirdo beneath their notice.
So she resolved that she wasn’t a witch who “was not like other girls” and admitted that Jarod’s thoughts on God were probably on the money. Allegra stopped trying to summon serial killers and her interest turned from the macabre to naughtier things. Graduating from reading silly creepypasta stories on Reddit to steamy exhibitionist fiction featuring damsels in distress getting themselves in increasingly embarrassing situations and decreasingly less clothing. Allegra would never have the guts to write down one of her own fantasies, but then she met the Blondes and they “helped” her with her pent-up sexual frustration.
When she went back to Alabama she arranged to star in one of her favorite scenarios, with Jarod as her special guest star. Jarod pretended he wasn’t heartbroken when she got on the plane to go home. He claimed he had babes crawling all over him. She could only hope that jumping his bones would give him the confidence to move on. Allegra didn’t want to be the one that got away for Jarod.
“You said you were going to read us something from your wank file. We finally get to the good stuff and it’s like one paragraph.”
“But this is a really famous story Riley,” Allegra appealed “and we’re not even at the good part yet.”
“It has been kind of lame Alley.” admitted Gabi “Sorry.”
Lakyn added, “The writing is really bad is all, I know you didn’t write it yourself.”
“But…” Allegra said wounded.
“Aw sweetie it’s okay.” Lakyn assured, “Why don’t you just read your favorite part?”
“Get to the sex scene!” Riley posited.
“There is no sex scene.”
“There’s no… one way or the other there will be sex tonight!” Riley and Gabi broke down in laughter.
“My favorite part is coming up soon, but it won’t make sense unless I read the part with Geoff’s parents. Could you hang in there for 20 minutes? Then we can stop if you want.”
“We’re just giving you a hard time Alley.” Gabi consoled.
“Yeah, just keep reading.” said Riley “but get to the sexy stuff.”
Allegra’s face beamed. “Okay good…”
5
“What did you do..?” Mrs. Forrester screamed at her twin sons. She had never been so angry with them. The boys were afraid to go home so they stayed away as long as they could, spending their movie rental money on snacks and a few rounds of Street Fighter II Turbo Edition at the Circle K. When they ran out of cash they went down to the riverbank near their house, a quiet place for both of them when they wanted to get away from the stress of their parents, till sunset.
“There are so many words in that sentence I don’t understand Retro,” said Riley.
Stu was hysterical, what were they going to do? It was bad enough that Geoff had beaten those girls, but he’d left them in their underwear. Stu was frightened of the consequences coming Geoff’s way, but he was also disturbed by Geoff himself. Stu had long been tortured by his brother, he was the victim of Geoff’s mean pranks and foul temper. More than his parents knew about.
His outburst with Lyla was different though. When he stripped those girls Geoff had an odd look, a voracious look. A goggle-eyed, unblinking gaze Stu had only witnessed when he had confronted Geoff about a dead rat he had found in his pillow. The 13-year-old boy wore not a smile but a hungry leer as he watched the older girls wriggle sheepishly in their scanties.
The brothers had a plan to sneak Geoff into their house to hide in their room. Stu would tell his parents that his brother ran away after the fight, and try to sneak food up to him. However, when they cycled up to the back of their house they saw that a police cruiser was parked by the entrance to their backyard. there would be no sneaking in through the kitchen door.
“Thank you, Stuart, but let’s go inside and see what happens.”
“But Geoff! They might send you away to Juvie!” cried Stu.
“Nah, this is my 1st offense. They ain’t going to do anything to me, I’m only 13,” he said with forced confidence.
They found their parents sitting together in the tv room with unreadable expressions. A cop sat across from them drinking from a coffee cup. The black man said something into his radio as he saw the boys walk in.
Missy, their mom, jumped to her feet and began a verbal assault on Geoff. “… you attacked some poor girls because they were riding your bicycles? What is wrong with you?”
“They hit us, first Mom!” Stu talked back. The other officer walked in through the kitchen giving his partner a nod.
“That doesn’t matter son.” said their father putting a calming hand on his wife’s shoulder “Boys are stronger than girls, even if a woman hits you are supposed to walk away. I’m sorry if I never explained that to you.”
“But we’re just kids and there were 3 of them and they’re all 18.” Stu argued “Geoff was just… I mean I… “
Both of their parents were now standing between the boys. Geoff looked confused but Stu silently told him to go with it.
“… was just defending Geoff.”
“It was you Stu? You beat up those girls?” said Mom in disbelief.
Officer Jackson, the black cop, flipped his notepad back one page. “Ms. Lyons said it was Geoff Forrester that hit her.”
Geoff flashed Stu a desperate look, but his brother had his back. “We’re identical!” He said, “They don’t know us very well and couldn’t tell the difference.”
The second officer squatted down so that he was at eye level with Geoff. “Is that right Geoff? Is Stu the depraved son of a bitch that slugged Lyla Lyons over and over?”
“She’s pretty that Lyons girl, you know that. You like to go up on the roof and watch her get dressed don’t you?”
“The Lyons got a pool, you ever seen her out there? Climbing out of the water or sunning herself in a little bikini? Hmm?”
“See I think you got a little boner for that girl, fact I can tell you do. Today she embarrassed you and you couldn’t take it. You started swinging and you couldn’t stop.”
“Warren.” Said Officer Jackson pulling back on his partner’s reigns, things were getting intense.
“Geoff has really bad social anxiety, he doesn’t talk very much.” Stu said “On the roof? That was me too, I… I let Geoff get in trouble for me. Even Mom and Dad get us mixed up sometimes.”
Jackson looked to Dad for affirmation and received a nod. Mom looked as though she was going to protest, how dare the officer accuse her of not being able to tell her children apart, but she thought better of it and inclined her head. Mom turned to Stu and chastised “You were my good kid Stu. How could you do this to me?”
Stu sniffled, he loved his Mom so much that he almost dropped his lie, but he was convinced there was something very wrong with his brother. Stu would come home tomorrow with a felony but that would all go away when he became an adult. They would see Geoff for what he was and he would be lost to Stu forever if he entered the system.
“Your brother Stuart is facing some serious charges, Geoff. Assault and Battery, Aggravated Assault if he’s lucky. Only a real piece of shit would let his own brother go down for something he did. What do you say, Geoff? Are you a chickenshit?”
Nothing about taking off their clothes? Geoff wondered why the girls wouldn’t have reported that part of it.
Jackson spoke up with good cop authority, “That’s enough Warren. What do you say Geoff was it Stu that messed up those girls?”
Geoff caught Stu’s gaze, who slowly blinked his eyes. It was at that moment when Stu condemned himself to a more difficult life going forward to spare his brother the same fate, that Stu became a man.
The 13-year-old Geoff Forrester turned to Officer Warren, wordlessly promising that the man would die by his own hand one day, and agreed to ruin his brother’s life.
6
“Oh, that’s so sad!” Gabi said, wiping an actual tear from her eye. She fanned herself with her hand so that her crying wouldn’t ruin her makeup.
“Gabi? Geoff is the bad guy!” Lakyn scolded.
“No, he’s not!” Gabi said going on defense for a badly written fictional character. “Just nobody understands him.”
“Did you cry when Dark Vader died too?” Riley teased.
“Shut up! Everyone was so mean to Anakin.”
“Who the fuck is Anakin?”
“It’s Darth Vader!” Allegra corrected angrily “Darth! And Everyone cried when he died! His real name was Anakin Skywalker and they turned him into the biggest whiny asshole ever put to film. Man, I hate the prequels!…” Allegra trailed off realizing the other women in the room had fallen silent and were looking at her as though she were crazy.
Then all together they yelled “Nerd!” And attacked the embarrassed girl with carefully manicured fingers. Tickling her till she was in tears herself. The heavy petting sparked another specific reaction in Allegra and it was all she could do not to smash her painted lips against the nearest willing pair she could find. Probably what at least one of the girls was hoping for.
“Stop!” Before she was unable to stop herself Allegra pushed the girls off of her so that they went tumbling in a cascade of tanned limbs and other fun extremities. “You have to stop!”
“Ow! That was my boob!” Gabi complained. She jumped up and started poking around in Allegra’s kitchen cabinets “I want popcorn!”
“Wasn’t Dark Vader a robot?” Lakyn broke in.
“No that’s stupid” Riley chided. “Why would a robot need an iron lung?”
“Does that mean he isn’t really dead?” Gabi’s eyes darted around the room as if Darth Vader were going to walk in. The popcorn bag was starting to pop and expand in the microwave.
“Ahem,” Allegra grumbled impatiently. presently 3 pairs of blue eyes held her rapt attention. They were interested in her story, but they were the 1st generation to be raised with smartphones and had the pruned attention span to match.
Morning came and Stu still hadn’t come home. Even though they did not entirely believe Stu’s story he stuck with it, so Mom and Dad had decided to send Stu to stay with their grandparents for the last few weeks of the summer.
Geoff’s punishment was looming in the near future, but for now, Mom and Dad just wanted him out of their sight. Geoff spent the next few days holed up in their room playing games on his PlayStation, giving his parents the cold shoulder unless they wanted him to mow the lawn or had food. Like most kids, he played Fortnight or Metal Gear, his favorite way to play was to disguise himself as a box or a port-o-potty then sneak up behind a guy and frag him with a stealth kill.
Having the room to himself was fun at first, but on day 2 he began to miss his brother. Yes, Stu was a constant annoyance, but he was the only person in the house Geoff ever spoke to.
Without Stu barging in with some dumb activity in mind, Geoff did not know how to distract himself. He caught himself falling asleep at the endgame screen, losing 15 minutes at a time, waking when he imagined Stu was walking in.
There was something else keeping Geoff up at night. Lyla Lyons. He hated Lyla but then…
Geoff reasoned that Lyla was to blame for him losing Stu. If she hadn’t tried to destroy their bikes Geoff wouldn’t have had to confront her. She was heading off to university in a few weeks, and he was entering his second year of high school. She was supposed to be the more mature person in this circumstance, which meant that she should have known better than to push Geoff’s buttons like that. If she hadn’t embarrassed him he wouldn’t have been forced to get violent with her and her friends. It wasn’t his fault!
So what if he watched her sunbathe from his house? It’s not as though he broke into her home, he could easily see into the Lyons backyard if he stood on the roof outside of his bedroom. All he needed was binoculars or a telescope and there she was, almost naked and oiled up with tanning lotion. It wasn’t his fault!
Why did she make such a big deal about it anyway? So what if he stared at her? What did she expect to happen when she wore such a tiny swimsuit like that? Not to look? He was a 13-year-old boy! If you don’t want to be looked at, don’t look like that! It wasn’t his fault!
At least that is how Geoff rationalized it.
7
“Dude! Geoffs like a psycho stalker! What the fuck?” Lakyn had found her way back into Allegra’s lap.
“That’s the whole point of the story Lakyn,” Allegra said casually, placing a hand over Lakyns mouth to silence her. The girl playfully bit at her fingers, then sucked on them lightly trying to get a rise out of their owner “This is Geoff’s origin story. I thought that if we had fun we could read some of the stories other people wrote.”
“Sure! I like this!” Said Gabi returning from another kitchen forage. She had somehow found the stash of chocolate Allegra kept for when she watched Outlander.
“Nope! Too much sugar, we have regionals in 2 weeks.” Riley snatched the little tin out of Gabi’s hand and handed her a few pieces of chocolate before setting it aside.
“Awe..!” Gabi looked at the tin longingly. “What if I workout later?”
“You can’t outwork a bad diet. Besides, we’re going to that movie. Go on Alley.”
“Geoff, Come down here!” Mom called. She had barely spoken to him since his incident with Lyla and there was still anger and disappointment in her voice every time she did. Geoff was not sure if he cared about what his Mom thought of him, or if he just did not like being yelled at. She had to call him 3 times before he ambled down the stairs. In the foyer, he was startled to see a well-dressed woman a few years older than his own mother, eyeing him with disapproval. He had seen this woman leave Lyla’s house.
“Geoff, this is Mrs. Lyons, Lyla’s mother.” Mom said looking through the sideboard for her car keys. She refused to look at her son. “We’re going shopping for her daughter’s going away party.”
Geoff was confused but said nothing.
“You are going over there to apologize to that girl and help her set up.” Said Mom, making stern eye contact for the first time, she was not making a request. “Behave yourself, and don’t even think about running off. I’ll call the police, and you had better hope they find you before I do.”
Geoff felt hot. He did not like being threatened either, even so, he recognized that he didn’t hold the power in this situation so he agreed to do what Mom told him to do. He went back up to his room to save his game and put on fresh clothes and shoes, he hadn’t bathed in a few days, before trekking across the street to the Lyon’s residence. Geoff rang the doorbell several times before he finally heard a distant irritated “Coming!”
Geoff was in for a second, altogether more evocative surprise as the door opened. An annoyed Lyla stood there wearing nothing but a pink bikini, a sheer coverup wrapped around her waist, and a second skin of pool water. It would seem that she had just been swimming and had done a slapdash job toweling off before running through the house to answer the door. Her hair was tangled and cohered to her face and shoulders. Geoff could smell the chlorinated water as it coursed down her smooth-shaven skin. The teenager’s breasts were high and youthful, young Geoff had never seen anything like them in his Dad’s secret computer file.
While Lyla was a year away from her twenties, and nobody would card her at a bar, she still had the slimness of a teenager. Curvy slim, Geoff had read in Mom’s fashion magazines, slender figure with somewhat wide hips and shoulders but a tiny trim waist. Her bare stomach was flat but soft, Geoff remembered how soft that tummy was.
“Oh.” Lyla frowned shifting her weight from one hip to another when she saw Geoff. “What do you want you little freak?”
Read the previous story here: Allegra Caught Naked
Part 2 of this story is updating here: The North Valley Tailor part 2
On a scale of 1 to 10, how creepy is Geoff so far?
Too much?
Not enough?
Oh wow, you are playing for both teams. Both sides will welcome the points you bring.
lol… this is genius.
I love your sense of timing and dialog. This was too funny.
Nice tie-in with your other story, well done.
The girls should have complained that there should have been clothes coming off instead of all that extra punching, lol. But for us readers it’s not that bad because it’s just a ‘story’ within a story.
Very creative and clever. Usually it’s difficult to tell a story within a story, and keep it interesting, but you are nailing it so far. And I totally didn’t know about creepypasta. Thanks for the chapters, looking forward to more!
I’ll take that other story off the L side. I may be alone on the dark side, but we have pizza!
I don’t know if you are aware of “Jeff the Killer”. It’s a story famous for being both an early CreepyPasta, “True” scary stories copied and pasted to multiple forums, and for being hilariously bad.
Riley is my favorite to write.
This is what I mean by trying to write badly on purpose. The whole story leads up to the moment the clothes start tearing. This would normally be a few paragraphs describing the ENF in detail, but instead, it’s glossed over in 3 sentences. Intentionally anti-climatic.
Elaborate, please? That sounds funny.
And thanks fo taking the time to read everyone’s stories and make comments.
I don’t think that you need to remove any stories. The more the merrier.
No I wasn’t aware of that website or the stories there. I wonder how many other writing websites there must be. I know there are some, but didn’t really explore them yet.
I like your relaxed style and creativity. And the balls to be intentionally anti-climatic. These are signs of confidence, a writers most precious resource.
Well I mean, it might have been fun to have the girls wincing at all the super punches, and instead wanting more stripping. But I guess, it’s also funny that they are encouraging the punches. It was indeed pretty brutal, all that violence of a guy against girls and then the stripping. That won’t sit well with a some readers, I mean, a guy doing that to girls, but then because it’s just a ‘scary’ story being told to un-afraid girls, it cleverly bypasses that for the most part. So it’s a clever mix of funny and edgy. In other words, I like that you are creatively using a large palette of techniques as you mysteriously inch towards your ending.
Nah, I never intended to enter more than one story, this is the one I wanted to enter.
I would recommend the NoSleep podcast to start with. They started by doing audio productions of CreepyPastas, now they are the most polished horror podcast out there. There are a ton of CreepyPasta Podcasts, but I would recommend “Creepy” which has done many of the Jeff the Killer stories. and there’s this… https://youtu.be/XKHn5T9HomM
I’m not defending this, I agree with you. The intent was to parody some of the early, badly written, BP stories that took it to ridiculous levels. Myself included. I’ll probably go back and tune it down a bit, but with your input I know how the next part starts.
Thanks for the recommendation. Don’t worry, I trust your sense of things. Carry on and enjoy writing your story as you have visioned it.
Oh, a new chapter. You should show that in the title. It still shows 3/14. I thought you were taking a break.
New Chapters 6 and 7.
I changed a character’s name, Lucy to Lyla, because I realized I already used “Lucy” in another story that I plan to write sequels for.
This whole series is a creative stretch, attempting to write an erotic slasher.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how creepy is Geoff so far?
Too much?
Not enough?
Harsh, but I was enjoying it. It’s a fun style. Plus I like the story in a story too.
The intermissions breaks are fun.
From a hundred years ago, to modern games. From BP, and funny scary stuff, to ENF. You have so much range!
Good psychological profile (characterization) work here.
lol…
I always love your descriptions.
By slasher I hope you mean a clothing slasher. But since it’s a story within a story I guess you have a lot of creative freedom, either way. But I wish he was 16 instead.
He’s not bad. I guess it’s a 7, which I think is ideal. Extreme’s can be be less interesting.
It’s just right. I’m really enjoying this and also wishing I had some pop-corn. So keep going, but I recommend starting chapter 8 with a new post for the rest of this. Too many people will miss this if you keep adding to it and not updating the chapter title. It looks like you haven’t updated since chapter 3.
You will get that answer very soon. I’m using this prologue and the previous “Mean Girls” story to establish Geoff’s motives and abilities.
This serves as the “Speech in praise of the villain” scene that’s needed in Action and Horror. Watch when Dr. Strange and Iron Man talk about Thanos in Infinity War, then again with Iron Man and Cap in Endgame.
I promise this won’t turn into a bloody mess, though there might be a big fire.
Yeah, I wish that too. It doesn’t quite work in my head if Geoff is already well into puberty though. Walking a fine line, Geoff will age up soon, but I promise not to get too adult with him while he’s a kid. Maybe it’s too late for that. I’ll consider going back and changing it when this is done.
Hmm. I might want it to be an eight. I think the next chapter, just posted, ramps up the horror a bit.
I will do that.
Though, I have been updating the title with the latest date and chapters. it shows on the home page but not on the latest activity section.
CountryMouse,
Interesting — a story within a story. That leaves me slightly confused as to how to structure a comment. Maybe a comment within a comment. LOL! (just kidding — I’m much too lazy to attempt that). I will say this, it is well done, from a technical point of view.
Okay, first the story of Allegra and The Blondes. I like that you capitalize The Blondes, by the way. It makes them sound like an official group — like The Pink Ladies (in Grease). Maybe that dates me?
I enjoyed the retelling of how they recruited Allegra. Although ‘recruited’ implies that Allegra had more choice in the matter than she might have.
An Ouija board. Who give one of those to someone who is like a daughter? Too spooky for me, but even so, it seems to be just here for color as it doesn’t play a role in the story (at least not yet).
Déjà vu! I guess those puppies really get in the way.So Riley is the North Valley Tailor. I like that part — and I like Riley — what’s not to like‽
The Geoff story. So far, it hasn’t done much for me. He’s not a very commendable person, but I guess that’s the point. But he must be really smart. A 13 year old in his second year of high school. I imagine he skipped ahead a couple of grades.
And then the big surprise: his mother and Lyla’s decide that he needs to go over and help Lyla get ready for a party while they are out shopping. So he goes over, surprising Lyla? Hard to swallow. I guess everyone bought Stu’s lie — that he was really the voyeur — really the one that did all the gut punching.
Well, this ends in the middle of the tale, so I’ll have to read on — just wanted to comment on this chapter before doing so.
Best Regards,
Blair
Hey Blair!
The Blondes are absolutely based on The Pink Ladies and the Plastics. I grew up with that movie.
I will probably write that story very soon.
Ouija Boards were a thing growing up, though I never had one. I remember a lot of girls going through a Witch phase growing up. I had plans for Ouija Board, and I might go back and expand the ending to include it more.
Heh heh. I try to work “Ow! That was my boob” into each story with them. I love writing for Riley, she’s a bad ass.
I was 13 when I started High School and finished when I was 17. This is the summer before Geoff starts school.I was attempting to write the Creepypasta badly. Overdramatic, with bad dialog, and the silly tropes piled on. Geoff is two-dimensional, unlikable, and outrageously evil. Stu is a crybaby. Lyla is so mean you almost want bad things to happen to her.
This is a parody of “Jeff the Killer” a Creepypasta that was written before there were Creepypastas. Jeff beats up some bullies at a bus stop, his brother Lui gets sent went away, then Jeff goes to his bully’s birthday party and gets into another fight where they shoot him with a flare gun. In some ways, I think what I wrote was actually milder than the original. Nice to hear your thoughts on the story, thank you for the review.