“Bud, why do you think those guys robbed a women’s clothing store and dressed up like women?” Gorsy slurred, leaning against the wall of the security office.
Bud scratched his head, deep in his delusional thoughts. “It’s elementary, my dear Gorsy. These guys knew we’d be looking for men, so they disguised themselves to throw us off. Classic misdirection.”
Gorsy nodded, not really understanding but trusting Bud’s flawed logic. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
Chief Tony walked in, looking exasperated. “Alright, you two. We’ve got a situation. Two guys just robbed the women’s store and took a bunch of clothes and wigs. Get out there and find them!”
The two bumbling guards stumbled out onto the street, eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary.
“Why would men dress like women, anyway?” Gorsy pondered aloud.
Bud shrugged. “Probably trying to live out some fantasy. People are weird, Gorsy.”
As they wandered aimlessly, they spotted two tall, stunning blonde women walking down the sidewalk.
“Look, there they are!” Bud exclaimed, pointing at the women.
Gorsy squinted. “You sure? They don’t look like men at all.”
Bud dismissed his skepticism. “That’s the genius of their disguise! Let’s go.”
They approached the women, who were dressed in tight skirts that hugged their curves and low-cut tops that accentuated their ample cleavage. Their feminine features were on full display: smooth, shapely legs, slender waists, and soft, rounded hips. The women’s confident strides and natural grace left no hint of anything masculine. Their faces, framed by flowing blonde hair, bore delicate features and full lips. The men’s eyes roved over every inch, searching for signs of deception.
Bud approached Lisa and Katie with a smug grin. “Ah, ladies—or should I say, gents? We know what’s going on here. You can’t fool ol’ Bud. I see right through your little charade.”
Lisa looked confused and annoyed. “What are you talking about?”
Bud pointed at them. “C’mon now, you know what I mean. Look at those Adam’s apples! Dead giveaway.”
Katie, indignant, snapped back. “We don’t have Adam’s apples! Are you blind?”
“Oh, but you do,” Bud insisted. “I’ve seen plenty of ’em in my day. And another thing, your shoulders are way too broad for women.”
Lisa’s voice was incredulous. “What? Are you serious?”
“Absolutely,” Bud said, nodding. “Shoulders like linebackers, the both of you.”
Katie threw her hands up in exasperation. “This is ridiculous!”
Bud continued, undeterred. “And don’t get me started on your hips. Not nearly broad enough for real women.”
Lisa’s face turned furious. “What planet are you from? We are real women!”
“Sure, sure,” Bud replied dismissively. “That’s exactly what you’d say if you were men in drag. But I’ve got my eye on you two.”
“Wow, Bud. You must be a real detective,” said Gorsy.
Bud puffed out his chest. “You bet I am. And I’m not falling for their tricks.”
“What the hell are you two doing?” Chief Tony Barker arrived at the scene, sighing deeply as he saw Bud and Gorsy harassing the women. Tony was a burly man in his late fifties, with a thick, graying beard that matched the stern lines etched into his weathered face. Years of dealing with petty criminals and incompetent subordinates had left him with a permanent scowl, but beneath that tough exterior was a sharp mind and a deep sense of justice.
Bud turned, a self-satisfied grin on his face. “Chief, we found the suspects. They’re just really good at disguising themselves.”
Lisa, furious, shouted, “We are real women! Look at us!”
Tony glanced at the women, then back at his inept employees. “You idiots, they look nothing like men. Apologize and let them go.”
But Bud was determined to prove his point. “No, chief, I’m sure of it. Just look at this.” He reached out and grabbed Lisa’s neckline. “See, a real woman wouldn’t have these…”
RIP! Lisa’s scream pierced the mall, her face flushed crimson. She crossed her arms in a futile attempt to cover herself, her chest heaving with each furious breath. Bud and Gorsy, stood frozen. Their eyes, wide perverse admiration, were glued to her exposed cleavage.
“Jesus, look at those,” Gorsy muttered, clearly impressed despite being the cause of her distress. Her top was split down the middle, hanging from her shoulders. The lacy, black bra struggled to contain her ample, round breasts that were thrust into the center of attention.
“Wow, those look real nice,” Bud said, eyes bulging. “But what about…” He reached for Katie’s waistline.
SHRIIP! Katie’s skirt hit the floor, revealing her sexy legs and ass in high-cut pink panties. Her mouth dropped open as she glanced down at herself, taking in the sight of her exposed skin against the flimsy fabric.
“Eek!” she squealed, her face flushing with humiliation as she met the men’s salacious stares. Her heart pounded, each beat amplifying her embarrassment.
“Holy moly,” Bud said, wide-eyed. “They’re definitely hiding something.”
Bud continued with his misguided hypothesis. “Okay, well, what about these?” he said, yanking Lisa’s bra down to her waist. “Yipe!” Lisa cried out, her eyes wide with shock. Her exposed breasts jiggled slightly, drawing Bud’s perverse attention. “Do they bounce like real breasts?” he asked, his tone laced with genuine curiosity.
“Don’t you dare!” Lisa’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. Gorsy, following Bud’s lead, yanked down Katie’s bra so the girls would match.
“Eek!” the women screamed in unison, their naked breasts jiggling as they struggled to cover themselves and retain some semblance of dignity. Their faces flushed with humiliation as the men’s crude gaze lingered on their exposed bodies.
“But there’s no hiding this,” Bud said, his hands moving down to Lisa’s panties.
“No, don’t do it!” Lisa pleaded, but it was too late. Bud yanked down her panties, and Gorsy did the same to Katie, leaving both women completely naked.
Bud and Gorsy stood dumbfounded, their eyes locked on the unmistakably feminine sight before them.
“Oops,” Bud muttered, realizing their monumental error. “These are definitely women.”
The women, humiliated and furious, screamed at the guards for help. Bud and Gorsy stood there, their stupidity on full display as the chief shook his head in disbelief.
“Idiots,” Tony said, walking away. “Absolute idiots.”
The end.