Chapter 30: Decorating the Desert
The next three weeks were filled with work and wedding prep. Kaitlyn and I hardly had a moment to ourselves otherwise. I won’t bore you with the details, I’ll just present you with the results, dear reader, and you’ll be very impressed with what all we got done in three weeks part-time. Deal? Good.
Early on Saturday the 9th of August, Kaitlyn and I woke up, having crashed early the previous night. Today was the wedding day!
Kaitlyn and I both took separate cars to her parents’ house, her to do all the secret bridal stuff, me to act as packhorse to help Vin and Miguel get all of the wedding party stuff out to the canyon.
There’s one serious advantage to marrying into a farming family, especially one that likes camping: they’ve got ATVs, trailers, picnic table awnings, chairs…everything you need to put on a wedding. We loaded mi burro and a long farm trailer up with all of the party gear and towed it up through Moab and out to the canyon.
We had just barely enough seats for those going along: Miguel, Carmen, and I in the FJ on its narrow bench seat, and Allison behind Vin on the ATV. I was a bit worried going through town well below the speed limit with the trailer like that, but Miguel told me the local police give the farmers some slack when it comes to following road rules as long as they make certain concessions: keep to the right, run your flashers, and so on.
I’d been following the ATV from behind, being more visible, but when we got to the canyon mouth, I pulled into the lead, since although I’d told everyone how to find the canyon, only Kaitlyn and I knew exactly how far up it we wanted to hold the wedding.
Both vehicles were well able to cope with sand, so we drove up, rather than park beside the road and pack everything in on foot.
At the site, we got all the tables and chairs and awnings and such set up. The Gutierrez family had even brought a small collapsible stage, which we set up as the “altar” area for the ceremony, with a small table set atop it.
Once we’d unloaded all the gear and began setting it up, Vin took the ATV and trailer back down the canyon and returned about an hour later, the trailer fully laden once again, so we unloaded that, too, and resumed setting things up.
Once we’d finished, Allison said, “I’ll stay and keep an eye on our stuff while y’all go get the final loads.” Then she pulled an e-reader out of a small backpack she’d brought, explaining, “I’ll be fine here on my own.”
Worried, I asked, “Are you sure? About being okay all alone, I mean?”
She just unzipped the backpack a little further, enough to show off the familiar grips of the 1911 pistol, grinned at me, and zipped it right back up again.
“I’m not going to ask if you know how to use that,” I said, returning her grin.
“Good,” she said, “because I’m the best shot in the family!”
“She is,” confirmed Vin. “Her motto is ‘Shoot like a girl…if you can!’”
We all laughed at that.
Back at the house, I gathered up everyone’s camping gear and suitcases and stuffed it all into the back of Kaitlyn’s Subaru. I had to pack the cargo area to the roof, but I got it all in there, leaving just enough room for the people riding back out with me: Vin and I got the front seat, and Miguel, Carmen and Allison took the middle seat. I left mi burro behind for use by Kaitlyn and her parents, who’d be coming up shortly before the ceremony actually began, intending to be the last to arrive.
We got back out to the canyon and each took an armful of camping gear and began to hike.
When we got to the site, we saw that Allison was still there alone, happily reading. Reading and buck naked! She just smiled at us as we hiked up, clearly having no intention of getting dressed any time soon.
We stacked our camping gear up next to where she’d found some shade, and Carmen said, a bit disgustedly, “Wow! I’m so tired and sweaty! I’m not sure I want to get into my bridesmaid’s dress like this.”
“Well, my new family,” I began, “Kaitlyn and I actually planned for this. I need to ask you something serious: assuming I don’t flake at the altar, are you all willing to accept me as a member of your family, protecting me and my secrets as the brother in law that I will shortly become?”
Kaitlyn had told me I could accept a “Yes” answer from any of them with my life, which in some real sense I was.
Every one of them agreed.
“I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me, as you will soon see. And now I must ask your indulgence one more time: everyone, please strip.”
“Already done!” piped up Allison, and we all grinned.
I started stripping immediately, but no one else immediately began undressing, so I added, “C’mon, crew, you’ve got to get out of those sweaty things and into your formal wear for the wedding anyway. There’s just something we need to do between those two tasks. Let’s go! Get nekkid, y’all!”
We’d all done this once before about a month ago, though not again since being so busy with wedding prep. They were a bit more nervous this time having me lead them in this than with Mary leading, but by ones and twos the rest of the crew eventually joined me, sky-clad in the canyonlands.
“All right, everyone please come out here into the middle of this sandy spot with me, spread your legs a bit, and lift your arms.” I assumed the position by way of demonstration.
They were all looking rather dubious, but they did what I asked them to, wordlessly.
Once they’d all joined me, I slipped into a trance, raised a communal sand shower for the lot of us and scrubbed everyone clean and dry.
“What what?”
“Holy shit!”
“Aiiigh!”
“What the hell is this, Davie?!”
It was chaos for a minute there, but I just held up my hands until they quieted. Then I said, “I did that. Kaitlyn and I call that a sand shower. Feels good, yeah?” Everyone agreed that it did. “I don’t want to explain more, but I called that up. It’s how Kaitlyn and I keep clean while out camping.”
“‘Kaitlyn and I,’” quoted Carmen. “Do you mean to tell me that she can do this, too?”
“She can. We decided I’d be the one to show it to you, because she and her parents will be showering the old fashioned way back at the house, as will the rest of our guests at their own houses, presumably. The work party needed a special bit of help, so that was my job here today. That’s also why I got it done as soon as we’d arrived, before any of the guests got here. We don’t want this secret leaving the family. Well, it’s already known to one person outside the family, but that’s a special case, and Kaitlyn and I decided that one, too. Please let us decide when and whether to add anyone else to that list, okay? Even my own parents don’t know yet.”
Everyone nodded, though they all had strange looks on their faces.
“I can see that this is straining your curiosity, so I will tell you this much: what I did is both good and natural. You don’t have to worry about it. It isn’t anything like the occult stuff in movies or horror novels. More I will not say for now, but eventually I expect to explain more, okay? You can ask Kaitlyn, but I think she’ll say much the same.”
Allison said, “I trust you, Davie.” The rest all murmured agreement.
“Thank you all, my new family,” I said, my heart swelling, so I pulled them all into a naked group hug, repeating, “Thank you, thank you!” That brought a smile to everyone’s face.
“All right, let’s get dressed before we get caught by an early guest.”