Melanie had just had the most amazing sexual experience of her young life. Brian had shocked her with his sudden change, touching her, exposing her, embarrassing her, exciting her.
That new Brian had scared her. It had been completely unexpected and was far removed from how she knew him to be. Strangely enough, he had almost immediately reverted to his usual self the moment Josy had called him out. It still scared her that he had that in him, but what if she had pushed him back? Would he allow her to? She didn’t have that commanding presence that Josy had. In fact, she was almost the complete opposite. Still, Josy let her push back when she needed Josy to slow down…
Josy looked unhappy, standing there next to her in the elevator. It reminded Melanie of the time they had gone shopping for clothes together. Afterward, Josy had become distant and drawn back. Melanie wanted to hug Josy, comfort her, tell her she wasn’t mad. However, she feared that doing that right now might encourage Josy to go even further next time. As much as she hated seeing Josy like that, she had to wait.
Remarkably, Melanie realized she was already feeling better. After all, she was alone with Josy now. Josy, who she could trust, who knew how to press her buttons, who had just made her cum in front of Brian in an open bathroom at a party… Anyone could have looked in and seen her.
Press her buttons… What was taking this elevator so long?
“Did you press the button?” she asked Josy.
“Oh. No, sorry,” Josy said while pressing the button for Melanie’s floor.
They had gotten her out of there, probably without anyone knowing what happened. She was intensely grateful for their quick thinking and fast-acting.
Josy knows. Brian, he must have noticed, right? Yes, he probably knows. The embarrassment that had been ebbing away, was rushing back.
“Brian, I totally misjudged him,” Josy said. “I never would have expected that of him.”
Melanie didn’t reply. Josy still seemed so unhappy, and even though Melanie wanted to hear her thoughts, she couldn’t take it anymore just standing next to her. She took Josy’s hand between them and interlaced their fingers.
Melanie felt a shiver go through Josy, but then felt her lightly squeeze Melanie’s hand. Josy already seemed in a better mood, not as unhappy as before.
“I’m sorry, Mel,” Josy said.
The elevator arrived at Melanie’s floor, and after the doors opened, Melanie started walking out. She felt a pull on her hand and noticed Josy had kept standing in the elevator. She pulled on Josy’s hand, refusing to let go.
“It’s okay, Josy, come,” Melanie said. Josy was not going home like this.
Josy nodded and they walked to Melanie’s apartment together.
Melanie opened the door, letting go of Josy’s hand, and led her friend to her room. The apartment seemed otherwise empty. Likely, her roommates were also out. She went to the kitchen, leaving a morose Josy sitting on the bed, and got them both a drink. Standing there, Melanie pressed her legs together and felt the wetness on her thighs. Josy must have felt the same wetness when her fingers had been inside, she realized.
First Brian had changed. Then he had changed back when Josy arrived. After they left the party, Josy also changed. It was amusing to Melanie how obvious those moment-to-moment differences were, when usually she had trouble reading their expressions and mood, especially Brian’s.
She entered her room again and placed the drinks on her desk. She felt clear-headed, energized like she could run the 100-meter dash.
Melanie walked over to the bed and sat down next to Josy. Feeling mischievous, she pulled Josy’s hand up to her nose and smelled the fingers. They just smelled like Josy.
“What are you doing?” Josy asked.
“Is this the hand?” Melanie asked.
“No,” Josy said, looking embarrassed as she held up her other hand away from Melanie. “I’ll go wash up.”
She knew how much she liked to be pushed, controlled, by Josy and maybe even by Brian if he finds a balance, or she can learn to trust him. However, now she found herself on the other side. She was controlling the situation and though it didn’t feel natural, she found that in some way she enjoyed this as well. It gave her some understanding of what made Josy act the way she did sometimes.
When Josy came back, Melanie directed her to sit on her bed. She thought it was funny how Josy let herself be directed, instead of the usual reverse situation. It also saddened her, and she wondered why Josy was like this sometimes.
“Sorry,” Josy said.
Melanie was getting tired of Josy saying sorry all the time. “Give me your hand,” she said.
“My hand? I washed it.”
“Just humor me.”
Josy extended her hand to Melanie.
Melanie slightly lifted her dress, exposing her legs, while keeping her pussy hidden. Then she moved Josy’s hand and placed it between her thighs. “Feel that,” she said.
Josy looked shocked, and said, “I just washed my hands.”
“I know, that’s beside the point,” Melanie said. She thought it was funny how Josy was shocked by it now, when less than fifteen minutes ago, Josy had had two fingers inside her. “Josy, I’m not mad,” she said, “I know what I did back there in that bathroom. Stop saying sorry.”
“Sor… Okay,” Josy said, catching herself just in time.
She released Josy’s hand and grabbed a few tissues. First, she cleaned Josy’s hand as best she could, and then wiped clean her thighs. It seemed to amuse Josy, who was just sitting there. After throwing away the tissues, she sat on the bed next to Josy.
“About Brian…” Melanie said.
She briefly explained to Josy what she had told Brian, there in that bathroom. Josy was surprised and amazed Melanie had told Brian.
“What made you tell him? Weren’t you afraid of how he’d react? Weren’t you embarrassed?” Josy asked.
Melanie didn’t answer right away. She had feared Josy might be angry that she’d told Brian, but there was only surprise and apprehension.
“So that is why he was fondling your ass like that,” Josy said.
“Yes,” Melanie said, “he suddenly showed a whole different side of him… But it scared me a little.”
“I see,” Josy said. After a moment of silence, Josy turned to Melanie and hugged her tightly.
Melanie returned the hug, glad to feel Josy’s arms around her.
After that, they talked for a while longer, laying on Melanie’s bed, before Josy went home to sleep.
~~~
Melanie woke up from a nightmare, all sweaty.
In the nightmare, Josy hadn’t found and interrupted her and Brian, and Brian had continued what he had been doing. Only he’d gotten steadily rougher with her. He’d stuck his fingers inside her and ignored her protests. She’d been unable to push him away. She’d woken when he had suddenly pushed her down on the ground and got on top of her.
Shaken, she got up from the bed, and started pacing her room. Why had she dreamt that? Brian wasn’t like that, was he? Yes, he’d scared her with his sudden change, but he wouldn’t go that far, would he?
She sat back on her bed, hugging her knees. She didn’t think he’d do that to her, but the fact remained he had scared her, and she needed to talk to him about it. What had moved him to do it, and would he respect her if she protested?
After putting on a shirt, she went to the kitchen to drink some water. She sat on the couch in the common room, sipping her water until she had calmed down and began to feel sleepy again. She returned to her room and soon fell back asleep.
~~~
In the morning, Melanie’s alarm woke her up. It was time for her run with Brian.
She put on her running tights, making sure to wear panties underneath, grabbed an older sports bra, and put her jacket on over it. Thankfully, no rain was expected today, though it was chilly outside.
Brian was already waiting for her in front of her building, and they set off towards one of the nearby parks. They did some interval training today, and towards the end, she called to Brian, indicating a bench and that they needed to talk.
“You must be getting sick of me wanting to talk all the time,” she said as she sat down.
“A bit, yeah. You do go on and on,” Brian sat down next to her.
“Asshole.”
“You keep calling me that,” he said, smiling.
“And you keep smiling when I do. It’s not meant to be funny,” she glared at him.
“I know, but it reminds me of something,” he grinned.
“Argh, asshole!” she exclaimed, frustrated by his attitude.
He laughed.
She rolled her eyes, but a smile crept upon her face. She saw the humor of it, even though it was aimed at her.
“Seriously though, we need to talk about last night,” she said. “First off, when a girl tells you to come with her, you go with her.”
“Ow,” he flinched under her verbal blow.
“Even so, I’m glad you didn’t come with us. I needed some time to think.”
“Uh,” he was visibly confused.
“Brian, it’s okay to be more confident. It’s just that last night… you surprised me. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and now I don’t know what I can expect from you.”
“Oh.”
“Deep down, I feel you’re not really like that.”
“Yeah.”
“But then you pull something like that on me.”
“Sorry.”
Melanie thought back to her nightmare. Could, or should she tell him about it? Would he retreat into his shell, never to come back out again, or would his dark side emerge and try to act it out? She didn’t know. What she did know is that if it were any other guy, or if she didn’t know him to be different, she wouldn’t take the effort to talk about this. She probably would have cut off contact.
“And now I don’t know what else you’re capable of. It… it’s scaring me,” she said, standing up.
“Oh.”
“Please, say something more than just ‘oh’, ‘sorry’, and ‘yeah’. Where did it come from?” she paced around as she talked. “Can I trust you not to hurt me? Truth is, I’m afraid of you now, Brian.”
“Afraid of me,” Brian seemed miserable.
“No, that came out wrong,” she said as she stopped pacing and faced him. “I mean, you held back previously. Somehow, you held back. It tells me you might not really be like that, that aggressive.”
“Not really, no.”
“Then what?”
Brian didn’t answer; he seemed to be struggling with himself.
“If I had told you to stop last night, if Josy hadn’t found us, would you have listened?” Melanie asked, her hands trembling. She was afraid of the answer, afraid he doesn’t know himself.
“I would have stopped.”
“Would you really? How much did you drink last night?”
“I had a couple of beers.”
“I might not be able to trust you if you drink alcohol. Did you know I didn’t drink at all last night? I thought it would keep me safe, but then that happened,” she said, hugging herself.
“Oh… I’m sorry,” Brian said.
“But… it’s okay to show a little more confidence, Brian,” Melanie said, her fingers playing with the waistband of her tights, bouncing on the balls of her feet, and looking away. “Girls like confidence.”
“Can I explain something?” Brian asked.
“Of course,” Melanie said, looking back and resting on her feet again.
“Why I didn’t come with you… You know the drunk guy, what he said when we were leaving…”
“Oh,” Melanie had tried to ignore the guy at the time. His suggestive words had been embarrassing.
“I didn’t want people to think that of you and Josy. Especially with what had just happened.”
This revelation took Melanie by surprise. Brian had been thinking of what others might think of her and Josy? That’s why he had stayed behind? Melanie looked at him. He seemed to be nervously awaiting her reaction. It made her believe that it was at least part of the reason for him.
“Uh, thank you,” Melanie said, shyly looking away.
“Can I ask something else?”
Melanie looked back at him and nodded. He was still not showing a lot of confidence, but she could work with that.
Brian looked at her curiously, and stated, “You did like what we did in that bathroom.”
Melanie blushed as she responded, “That’s not a question, but yes.” She hooked her thumbs into the rear of her tights, nails lightly scratching the bare skin beneath her panties.
“And when Josy came in, you liked it a lot.”
Her blush intensified. Was he referring to her orgasm? Although it was difficult to admit this to him out here in the open, she nodded at him.
He seemed happy at that. After a moment, he spoke up, saying, “Okay, so… if you enjoyed being exposed in a bathroom at a party, what about a public park?”
Her eyes went wide. “What do you mean?” she asked. Is he referring to the pictures of her that he found on the ENF website? Was he going to ask her about those?
“I mean, would you enjoy… Uhm… showing a bit more than you should, right here?”
Shocked at the suggestion and blushing at the thought, she nervously looked around. Does he want her to take off her clothes, or some of them, here in this public park? Granted, it was fairly quiet at this hour, but there were plenty of people around. She felt her heart beating faster in her chest.
“There’s too many people,” she said, embarrassed to admit to him that she was even considering the idea.
He looked around, and then said, “follow me.”
They took off running again, and she followed him at a leisurely pace. Arriving at a small path that passed through more dense shrubbery, Brian went in, and again she followed. Just a few steps later, the path turned and gently rose. It seemed to go in a semi-circle around a small pond. He stopped in the middle of the semi-circle, where there was a bench. She looked around; she couldn’t see much of the rest of the park from there.
“Here,” he said. “Do you want to give it a try?”
She noticed he couldn’t help himself smiling. He was probably looking forward to what she might do. Meanwhile, she was all nerves. She felt hot from both the run and the prospect of exposing herself, in this public park, to both the elements, and to Brian. The butterflies in her stomach were out in full.
She toyed with the zipper of her jacket. She was wearing one of her old sports bras today, and it wasn’t very racy. It would be fine to take off her jacket here.
She lowered the zipper and looking over at Brian, she could tell he was enjoying himself. Turning her back to him, she pulled the jacket off, folded it up, and then turned back to him and placed it on the bench.
“So? How does it feel?” he asked.
She blushed. Why did he have to ask that? Yes, she was enjoying this, and yes, she wanted to take it further, but no, she didn’t want to tell him how she felt right now.
She turned away from him, folding her arms across her chest.
“Oh… Uhm… you don’t have to tell me, Melanie,” he said. “In fact, I’ll just sit here and enjoy the peacefulness of this pond here.”
She heard him sit down and was amused by his obvious attempt to pretend everything was normal. Even though she knew what he was doing, it put her at ease. There was no one else here.
She toyed with the waistband of her running tights, and very slowly she started pulling down the waist, folding it down. First, her V-lines came into view, then the top of her panties. She stopped there, and with the heat rising in her face, she turned around, closing her eyes as she showed him her handiwork.
“That is sexy as… wow,” he said.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. His appreciation was obvious in the way he looked at her, and it was daring her to take it further. Pushing her thumbs into her panties at the V’s, she pushed down a little, exposing most of her bare mons to him.
“That is just criminal,” he said, with an unblinking stare.
She enjoyed his attention but knew she couldn’t push down any lower without showing him her sex, and she wasn’t ready to do that. Instead, she held firm with one thumb, and taking the other out, she caressed the smooth exposed skin with her fingertips, careful not to obstruct too much of his view. She was quickly getting aroused, both from the public show she was giving him and from her own touches.
Thankfully, her tan had been fading over the past weeks. She wasn’t ready for questions about a lack of distinct tan lines around her sex.
The way he was looking at her, was that what lust looked like? She wasn’t sure, but looking down at his running shorts, she did notice a bulge that wasn’t there before.
She had heard the term ‘blue balls’ before, and wondered if that was a real thing, or just something guys made up. If it was real, then what she did last Saturday, what happened last night, and what she was doing right now must make it uncomfortable for him.
She pulled her other thumb out of her leggings and they moved up a little.
“What?” he asked. “Why did you stop?”
Melanie hesitated, unsure if she had the nerve to say this. “You know,” she paused, and then looked him in the eyes, “I like you, Brian. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
Brian audibly gulped. “I like you too, Melanie. Liked you from the first time we spoke.”
Melanie blushed hearing those words, knowing what she intended to say and do next, if he played his cards right.
Still, if she were going to do this for him, there was no reason she couldn’t have some fun first. She turned away from him again, and said, “Yesterday, you said I had a nice butt.”
“Uh, yes, I did.”
“Would you prefer watching or touching, like you did yesterday?” she asked, looking back over her shoulder at him.
“I… uh…”
“If you need a reminder…” she said, trailing off. Her nerves were going wild, but she tried to keep steady. She looked forward again as she hooked her thumbs into her tights at her hips, and started working them down, making sure to push her panties along.
As she felt the top of her butt become exposed to the cold air, she asked, “How about this?”
“That’s beautiful,” he said.
“I mean… is it enough to make a good comparison?”
“I need to see a bit more,” he said in a choked voice.
She smiled, happy he was playing along, and she was enjoying this tremendously.
“Tell me when,” she said, and again, she pushed down, working the tights down even more. Slowly but certainly, her whole ass got exposed to the air. The tights were now resting below her cheeks. In front, her sex was exposed as well.
“You didn’t say when,” she said, accusingly, pulling her thumbs out of her tights.
“Ahh,” he breathed. “Sorry…when.”
“It’s a little late now,” she said, looking down at her exposed lips, and running a finger between the wet folds. She suppressed a moan and then cursed under her breath.
“I’m not sure,” Brian said.
“Still not sure?” Melanie asked in a shaky voice. “I don’t believe you, but fine.”
She put her hands on her butt and rubbed her cheeks, similar to how he had held them the previous evening. After a moment, she put her hands on her leggings, just below her butt. She attempted a sexy pose by putting one knee in front of the other and leaning forward just a little, and asked, “Well?”
“I… really don’t know. Maybe if I feel again?”
“No,” she said, amused by his attempt, and she pulled her underwear and tights back up into place. She turned back to him and noticed he had a big grin on his face.
It was time.
“I’m sorry, Brian, I keep making you uncomfortable,” she said, putting more confidence in her voice than she felt.
“Uncomfortable?” he asked, sounding confused.
“I mean that,” she said, looking at his crotch.
“Oh,” he said, covering his crotch with his hands.
“I keep doing this to you,” she said, walking back to the bench and sitting down next to him. “but I want you to know, I’m not just a tease.”
She took one of his hands and pulled it away. He took the hint and removed his other hand.
“You don’t have to…” he said.
“Shhh, confidence, Brian,” she said, reaching out her hand and touching his bulge.
He jumped as if having received a shock but didn’t say anything.
“Sorry,” she said, drawing her hand back a little.
“Uh, it’s okay,” he said, looking up at her. She thought he seemed as nervous as she was.
“Don’t think too badly of me,” Melanie said, and her hand went to the waistband of his shorts.
She pulled the knot of the string and it loosened the elastic band. He seemed to be cautiously watching her and she made brief eye contact with him, the corner of her lips turning up. Watching for his reactions, she worked her hand into his shorts and found his underwear. He gasped as she worked her fingers into the waistband, perhaps from her fingernails scratching his skin.
She paused, looking at him again. He seemed tense, but smiled at her, and she took it as a sign to continue. As soon as her fingers went further, she felt him there with her fingertips, and he tensed up yet again.
“Ah,” he said as her hand went further.
She decided to take the leap and took him in her fist, but she then nervously watched for his reaction. He had his eyes closed for a moment, but then looked at her again. She wondered what he was thinking of her right now but knew she shouldn’t ask. She felt his reaction as she started moving her hand, and he closed his eyes again.
Biting her lip, she wondered if he would let her see him. Not only that, but it was also difficult to move inside his shorts and underwear, and it was tiring out her hand. She stopped moving, and asked, “Could you, uhm, give me some more room?”
“More room? What do you mean?” he asked, looking at the bench and sounding confused.
“I mean your shorts. Could you maybe push them down?” she asked, smiling nervously, hoping he wouldn’t mind.
He seemed unsure but nodded and worked down both his shorts and underwear. She enjoyed the view she got, and now it was much easier to take him into her hand. It wasn’t the first time she touched a guy that way, but she enjoyed it more this time, with Brian. She was glad he was letting her take control. It was building a foundation of trust that she desperately needed.
Soon his breathing increased in speed, and he asked her if he could see her again. She understood what he meant, so with her other hand she tried to push her tights and panties down the same way as before. However, sitting like that, she wasn’t able to manage it with one hand.
“Sorry,” she said, as she took her hand off him.
She lifted her butt off the bench and used both hands to push her tights down over her hips, so that the waistband now rested on her mons. She sat down and took him in her hand again, while her other hand teased the waistband near the edge of her sex.
When she thought he might be getting close again, she bit her lip and pushed her tights just a little bit further, letting him see just the top of her slit. She didn’t want to show more than that, even though she was seeing and touching him right then. Soon after, he put his hand over hers and aimed himself as he came, shooting ropes of cum into the grass in front of the bench.
Not much later, he pulled his boxers and shorts back up, while she fixed her tights again. Neither of them said anything. To Melanie it was a bit awkward. She didn’t know what to say, but she was happy he got a release.
“Melanie,” Brian began.
He wasn’t going to thank her or anything, was he?
“Uhm, shall we go?” Brian asked.
“Yes, okay.”
After they returned to the front of Melanie’s apartment building, they had a short chat. They just talked about their run and when to go again. Neither mentioned what happened at the end of the run.
However, they did smile at each other as they said bye. To Melanie, it felt like an understanding. It was something private between them.
The introspection and developments in this chapter were amazing.
It’s funny that Melanie wants to console Josy for feeling bad, when Josy was the bad one. I like that Melanie lives in the moment and can’t seem to hold grudges.
The role reversal here is fun.
Excellent to see a dream revealing realistic thoughts like this.
I also liked the complex conversation with Brian. Melanie is attracted to him, but trying to figure out if he’s safe, wanting to move forward with him and flirting, but not wanting him to go too far, while helping to teach him to be more confident, all at the same time. lol… A woman’s world can be complex and tricky, and this captures that perfectly.
And then he spoke the magic words.
The stuff we all like. The park scene was so good.
In the middle of something passionate, we see this, making it even more realistic and deep. I love how all this is developing, and am looking forward to more chapters!
I’m glad you liked those parts. There are always doubts how much introspection readers like, or even can put up with.
Sometimes a dream will force us to reflect on real events, especially when real events affect us more than we realize.
He’s not as oblivious after all.
Thank you for the comments!
Very fascinating development, from the lighthearted previous chapters to some quite serious scenes here. I mean, when Melanie said she is afraid of Brian, this could very well have been the end between these two. I had the feeling just one wrong word from either one and that’s it. But it turned out fine for both (or maybe especially for Brian…)
I am very curious how it will develop further with Melanie and Brian. And also how Josy will fit into it.
Yeah, it was pretty intense. A necessary confrontation, considering recent developments. However, now that they have survived it, I suspect more fun and antics will be coming Melanie’s way as her trust gradually builds up with Brian.
Hopefully Josy will be okay and can get back to her usual self. What she has with Melanie is special and I hope that can continue with Brian now in the picture, but you never know.
Yes. She’s taking a risk being there with him, talking to him. She rationalizes the risk, based on how he behaved previously, but it’s a crucial conversation.
Thank you for your comments. I’m glad you’re following along with the story and hope you’ll like how it goes from here.
I wasn’t able to read until today. But I didn’t mind leaving this delicious little morsel on the plate for a day or two – as long as it’s there, I’m in control. But today I gobbled it up, placing Cave back in charge. There will be another chapter, I trust, and the cycle will repeat. I’ll read, either right away or when it suits me, and then … back to waiting.
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And so it is with this story. Who is in charge in any particular scene transfers back and forth … but not just between two … for there are three primary actors. In the last chapter, in the bathroom, Brian steps up, taking a turn being in charge. He explores some female skin, lifting Mel’s skirt, discovering that she is indeed pantiless. And then Josy enters. The baton of authority transfers to her. Maybe ‘baton’ is an apt metaphor, appropriately phallic, as some plunging does take place. Mel’s legs go weak, fortunately Brian is there to hold her up.
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And then (now in Chapter 15), after seemingly getting them to the elevator, Josy drops the baton. Melanie picks it up. She has to. Someone has to press the button. This scene left me struggling to figure out where Josy’s head was. Is this a love triangle? Did she feel as if Mel was cheating on her in the bathroom with Brian? Possibly so. Melanie (clearly in charge) takes Josy’s hand in hers interlacing their fingers, and Josy’s mood brightens. Later in her room, Melanie (still clearly in charge) puts Josy’s hand between her legs. I’m definitely not sure what is going on here.
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The next morning with Brian, Melanie seems to be the assertive one. But then (after some confusing thoughts about Melanie being scared of him), Brian takes the initiative. “Okay, so… if you enjoyed being exposed in a bathroom at a party, what about a public park?” he says. They find a more secluded spot, and Melanie removes her jacket. From there, more skin is exposed. That seems rather balanced in terms of who is running things. Melanie wants to show, but Brian is definitely encouraging her. “I need to see a bit more,” he remarks at one point.
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And then from there, Melanie, seemingly a little more concerned about ‘blue balls’ than any girl I ever met, takes the bull by the horns and renders the release she feels is necessary. But I guess it makes sense. She wants him to know, “I’m not just a tease.”
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The two big questions I find myself contemplating as I await that next morsel are:
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1. Why all this talk about being scared of Brian. As guys go, he’s not very scary. His moments of assertiveness are indeed fleeting. And what is more, Melanie needs more from him in that regard. Indeed she even coaches him. “But… it’s okay to show a little more confidence, Brian. Girls like confidence.” Yep, Melanie is definitely talking out of both sides of her mouth.
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2. Why such an unusual relationship? No hugging, no kissing, nothing like that. Melanie just reaches in, nothing in the way of tenderness, and jacks him off. It seems like these two like each other, and yet all that typical stuff is missing. Sensing how careful our writer is, I know that this aspect of a male-female relationship has not been overlooked. These are not ordinary people, so it is surely intentional that this relationship is not playing out as most do.
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Best Regards,
Blair
Hmm, these are complex characters. Well, at least I try to make them into complex characters, but I’m just a beginning writer.
Question 1. relates to their youth. I believe most people, young but also old, can say something they truly believe, but later find they were mistaken at the time. On top of that, the reader follows along with Melanie’s thoughts in this story, but I admit that it’s possible that some of what I mean to relay to readers, might end up being missed, or not written out clear enough.
Question 2. relates to their personalities and past experiences. Indeed, these are not ordinary people, and some of their unusual traits are the reason why they have found each other. I’ll just say, I do try to keep intention behind these characters, even when the characters themselves might not be fully aware of their own intentions.
I hope you realize that those weren’t questions I was hoping for answers to, not in a comment to the story anyway. I was merely letting you know where my head is at this moment in your most enjoyable feast of a story. Those things are what I am thinking about as I await the next delicious morsel.
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As I am sure you are a beginning writer, as you say, then I have to chalk this up to talent. Many stories have black and white characters. We, as readers, quickly learn who is good and who is evil. The story then plays out, often with a lot of fun, but no major surprises. Your characters, on the other hand, are all grey. That is to say that they are more like real people. Real people surprise. That keeps me reading. As you can tell, I can’t yet draw a bead on Josy. She pushes Mel, but she is sensitive to her feelings. She doesn’t seem to be a lesbian, but then she reacts to some situations in a way that I imagine might be due to jealousy.
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Bottom line, I look forward to each and every installment. They are fun AND they get me thinking. Brian too. He doesn’t behave as I imagine I would. And yet, I never had the fortune to meet a woman like Melanie, and certainly never under such circumstances.
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You wrote, “I admit that it’s possible that some of what I mean to relay to readers, might end up being missed, or not written out clear enough.”
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This is definitely something that I wrestle with as a writer. I used to worry that readers might miss it (or forget) if I said a character was angry or had red hair (anything), so I tended to repeat myself. Lately, I consider it the reader’s responsibility to pay attention. And yet, I still believe that it is necessary to reinforce things, especially physical description.
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By the way, ‘talking out of both sides of her mouth’ was probably a poor choice of words. It would have been better (and surely more accurate) to say that Melanie is conflicted or still figuring out what she likes in a man. But possibly I am completely off base. Surely Brian can be both more confident and less scary. That’s probably what Mel has in mind.
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But, as I think I’ve said, I’m enjoying the story … eagerly awaiting the next installment so that I can continue to be surprised by these interesting characters.
To me, Brian and Melanie seem normal considering who they are and what has happened so far. They are young and overwhelmed with all the sensations of what they are playing around with in the park. It’s an amped up sexy moment, with both of them so turned on that they don’t have space for the lovey-dovey stuff, and even if they did they are not used to being emotionally intimate.
Plus she has trust issues (some imagined, some real), but is trying to work through them… she’s trying to get past that. Probably wise to have worry at this point since she had an orgasm in his arms and was with Josy and him at the time. Who knows what a guy will think after something that. She’s hoping that he has more in him, that this could be something, that he could look past that and see the real her, but she’s probably wise to be cautious at this point. She’s giving him the benefit of the doubt, probably because of that first encounter after the rain where he held back, but she’s definitely rolling the dice here.
They are inexperienced, likely virgins. She’s trying to fight her fears of the unknown, while also guiding him and making them both get what they want. She is not great at reading signals from guys and he’s terrible with girls. Plus he seems to have blue balls and she feel’s guilty for doing that to him, repeatedly. I don’t think you can go wrong with a strip show in a park followed by a hand job.
So it works for me, but I get what Blair is saying. On the surface it looks kind of blunt with the sudden (but foreshadowed) hand job and her fear of him while also encouraging him can seem confusing. But I like it… feels real and raw and a lot going on under the surface. It seemed like that was Brian’s first hand job and no doubt it was huge for him, and maybe even the defining sexual moment of his entire life.
To me the scene was wonderful. It was great to see a woman side of things. Please ‘don’t thank me’ and how she was hoping he would ‘play his cards right’. We got to see all those little things that should be done right to keep the magic going.
The ending was also good…
All in all I think Brian’s a lucky bastard. Hopefully he’s smart enough to not screw this up.
Yes, I’m now seeing the issue more clearly. Actually, initially that whole part was to be more written out, but I did not think a detailed scene of a handjob had a place in an ENF story. However, in writing it as I did now, it has become rushed, sudden, emotionless. I will try to rewrite it in the way I meant it to be, without going into details too much, to capture the essence of the scene. If I manage that, I’ll edit it in.
Cave, thank you for your answers. You know better. I continue to enjoy how the relationship unfolds between Melanie and Brian. Josy can join this and create a magic triangle, where Brian and Josy will jointly push Melanie to new discoveries. Plus there are neighbors. If you need ideas, I can give them to you. But it seems to me that in general, you are good at it. The main thing is that you like it, and then we, readers like it.
I agree with pavel_ser. It would be cool if Josy and Brian could somehow join forces to push Mel to new discoveries. However, if they can only do it separately, I won’t complain. I also like the roommates as well. Light stuff is the meat and potatoes, but I also like the depth and realism.
Nice update to the… ahem… good part.
I ccurrently have more ideas than I can possibly write, but you’re always welcome to share your predictions. Last week you got pretty close with your prediction about the run.
When I saw that you were making a change inspired by my comment, I was concerned. I don’t comment on stories hoping to influence writers. But then I read this. It’s delightful! I don’t imagine that you’ve altered the trajectory of your story at all. You simply made this scene a better fit with the rest. AND it makes these characters more relatable. Well done!