Jessa Meets Her Match: Chapter 14, Healing Hearts and New Directions

Jessa Meets Her Match

Chapter 14: Healing Hearts and New Directions

After quickly loading Dirk’s belongings into Nick’s trunk, we rolled out through the gate. I was expecting (again) to never go back to the mental hospital. I’d certainly had my fill of that eerie place.

Brent was up front with Nick, leaving the four of us packed together in the back seat. I was in the middle, Dirk on my left behind Nick, and Kim on my right. It probably didn’t seem as crowded to Kim as it did to me, but Dirk was a large man and Catherine was on his lap.

“Oh, shit! My clothes,” I exclaimed. “They’re in the other car, the police car the rest of us came in.”

Nick’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “Okay. I’ll turn around,” he said, the car slowing.

“No. Just keep going,” I said, realizing that I wouldn’t get dressed if I could. I wanted to be with Catherine. Being naked felt as awkward as ever, but fortunately, there wasn’t anyone in the car that I hadn’t already been naked around.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t mind.”

“My suitcase is at the cabin. Plenty of clothes. That’s where we’re going, right?”

“Well, yeah…”

Something about his tone made me uncertain. “What do you mean, ‘well, yeah’?”

“Probably need to stop for gas.”

I considered that, picturing the scene at a gas station. “Keep going,” I reiterated. I really didn’t want to go back through those gates, no matter how briefly.

I looked over at Cathers. She looked joyfully content. It was truly heartwarming to see her so happy. She was seated sideways on Dirk’s lap, twisted such that her arms were draped around his neck. Our eyes met. “Thank you,” she mouthed.

I smiled and nodded. “Anything for you, Ghost Girl,” I said softly, placing an arm across her knees. I again felt the tingle.

I shifted, looking up at Dirk. It almost bothered me that he was so much older than she was – forty years older. Considering that, I realized they were actually the same age. That he’d aged and she hadn’t was really just an illusion. They were both sixty-five.

Catherine had been around Dirk constantly over the course of the last forty years. She’d watched him age gradually. I expected that she noticed how much older he looked, but she didn’t seem to give it a second thought. I decided to do my best to ignore it.

“Jessa, do you want to pump the gas?” Nick asked as we pulled into a well-lit station.

“Three guesses,” I said in my most sarcastic voice.

“No problem,” he said with a chuckle.

As we parked at the pump, I lifted my heels up onto the seat, hugging my knees to my chest. Doing my best to disappear, I tucked my chin. If someone glanced in the windows, I wasn’t going to look up. Thinking about that, I decided that Dirk, Kim and I might look as if we’d been arrested. But, other than an elevated heart rate, nothing came of the stop and we were soon underway.

I decided to make use of the opportunity to ask Dirk a few questions. “So, Dirk … can you feel Cathers? I mean, when you touch her, any sensation? Does it feel like you are touching skin?”

He lifted his right hand, placing his fingers lightly on her cheek. As I watched, he ran his thumb back and forth across her lips lovingly. Catherine puckered up and gave it a kiss.

“I can’t really describe it,” he said, “…but not like skin. There is something. A very special something. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Have you always felt it? Has it changed?”

“Always,” he replied.

“Is it like a tingle? Because that’s what I feel. Not at first. At first there was nothing. But the last day or two, a tingle. Almost like how my fingers feel when they fall asleep. As they are waking up.”

Dirk looked at me. “That isn’t how I would describe it, but I can see why you might. I’ve thought that my skin itself might not actually be feeling anything. That somehow my brain might be fabricating the sensations … filling in the gaps. Because I want so badly to feel the soft skin of the beautiful woman I love. To feel her warmth.”

Considering that, I ran my fingers lightly along Catherine’s thigh. I couldn’t make myself believe that what I was sensing was simply a figment of my imagination. “I definitely feel her,” I said, deciding to reject his theory entirely. “Can you feel my hand?” I asked, my eyes meeting hers.

She nodded.

“I’m so glad,” I said. I wanted it to be real for her as well, as lifelike as possible.

Dirk shifted his hand down. As I watched, he slid his hand lower, tracing the line of her sternum between her breasts with the backs of his fingernails. “She feels real. That’s enough for me,” he said, seemingly contradicting what he’d just said.

Catherine grasped his hand in both of hers, pressing it to her chest. Her eyes were smiling – as bright as I’d ever seen them. “I’m so happy. My lover’s free!” she said softly, her words underscoring what her eyes were saying.

My mind jumped far into the future – to that point in time when the two of them would be fully reunited in heaven. I hoped that it would be wonderful. I imagined that they’d be completely together – become one. Even if they were currently occupying different spheres, they seemed to be making the most of it.

I turned and looked at Kim. She was quietly staring at the headrest straight in front of her. There wasn’t much in the way of light in the car, but her cheeks glistened – moisture from her eyes.

“Are you okay?” I asked, taking her hand in mine.

She nodded, emitting a barely audible snuffle. “It’s just never seemed so real. But with both of you talking to her. So sad … but also beautiful, in a way.”

Catherine spoke. “Tell Kim I had a happy life. A wonderful childhood. A loving family. And, I met this man. We fell in love. Not a long life, but otherwise full. Almost perfect.”

With tears in my eyes, I conveyed Catherine’s words to Kim. She nodded, but failed miserably when it came to her attempt at a smile.

Cathers continued, “Tell her I respect what she’s doing. That I admire her. Her efforts on behalf of the orphan children.”

I was too choked up to speak, so Dirk stepped in. “Kim,” he said. “Catherine is talking about orphans … says she respects what you do. Do you work at an orphanage?”

Kim looked taken aback. I studied her expression as Cathers spoke to Dirk, correcting him. “Oh, pardon me,” he continued. “She says you work for a charity. One that raises college funds … for the children of fallen police officers.”

“That’s right,” Kim replied in a weak voice, her eyebrows raised.

“How long have you been doing that?” he asked.

I kept quiet, allowing Kim to explain. A moment later I saw Catherine whispering in Dirk’s ear.

“She tells me you took a pay cut to do it,” he said.

“I did,” Kim admitted. The look on her face told it all. Nothing had driven home the point that there was a ghost in our midst like the present conversation.

The change of subject was nice because it allowed me to slip away – to thoughts that were less depressing than Catherine’s early demise. I started trying to picture sleeping arrangements. I wasn’t sure what Nick would say, but I was planning on giving Catherine and Dirk the guestroom. That would probably mean that Nick and I would end up on the couch or possibly air mattresses.

Our campfire that evening was quite a bit more entertaining than usual, and not because Kim and I attempted again to get Brent and Nick to service each other orally. We didn’t. The mood that evening was drastically different – very upbeat. It felt like a reunion of sorts – one between lovers. Even though Catherine and Dirk had spent a lot of time together through the years, it had always been in the context of Dirk’s confinement. On top of that, their situation had been stagnant. All that had changed. Dirk was free and the killer was behind bars. Optimism was in the air.

Contributing to the fun was the fact that Catherine was no longer odd man out, and her happiness was contagious. I knew that I would again pay for what we had done, for my exposure, but I was doing a good job of ignoring that – for the moment at least. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I knew that there were images of me along with related headlines on news websites. They had to be there. But even so, I was drinking quite a bit less than usual. I didn’t need it. I was drunk on Catherine’s bliss.

Thinking about her effervescent mood, I decided that two factors were in play. In the first place, Dirk was now free to pursue a normal life. I had a hard time imagining what that might look like, as he was a bit old for a career. And second, with two people present with whom she could talk, she was no longer a passive observer. She was the center of the conversation. I’d never seen her looking so ‘alive.’ It didn’t seem possible, but my love for her doubled that evening.

When it came time to conclude sleeping arrangements, I suggested to Nick that we offer the queen-sized bed to Dirk and Catherine. I saw the disappointment in his eyes, but to his credit, he didn’t voice an objection. That came from both Dirk and Catherine.

To my surprise, Nick insisted. Fortunately, Brent and Kim had a spare mattress. It was just a twin, but it was an actual mattress. We moved the coffee table and placed it in front of the couch. Nick and I were going to be able to sleep together – sort of.

Nick, probably thinking that I’d sleep better, decided to take the couch. But, after brushing our teeth, we both ended up on the small mattress. It was delightfully cozy.

At first, we spoke about the evening, about how Dirk was a much more interesting person than either of us might have imagined. He was exceedingly well read. But then, after a long gap in the conversation, Nick said, “Jessa, we need to talk. This is probably as good a time as any.” His tone was friendly, but serious.

“What about?” I asked, even though I knew.

“About us.”

I reached into his underwear, taking a hold of his cock. Seconds later, I was down there kissing it.

Nick grabbed my shoulders. Gently but firmly, he pulled me back up. We were again face to face. “Why don’t you want to talk about this?” he asked.

Hoping to distract him, I continued fondling his manhood, rubbing my palm along his shaft, pressing it against his abdomen.

He grasped my wrist, pulling my hand free.

“I love the sex,” he said. “I do. But I also love you. I know I messed up … saying it when I did. I saw the surprise in your eyes. The shock. It looked like I’d hurt you … your feelings, I mean.”

“Yes, that was weird.”

“I tried to get up the guts to tell you the night before, but that didn’t seem to be the right moment either. You did have me in handcuffs. I didn’t want the first time to be under that set of circumstances.”

I chuckled to myself. That was something I hadn’t considered.

“So, I love you. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’m probably not your dream guy. I’m older. I’m a small-town cop.”

“Oh, Nick,” I said, hugging him around the middle, my cheek pressed to this chest.

We lay there for a minute or two, my heart pounding in my ears. I did like Nick. Maybe I loved him. More than anything, I didn’t want to mess this up.

“It’s not that I don’t love you,” I said, running a finger down his arm. “I think I just need a little time.” Surely Nick would understand. The last few days had been crazy – such a wild ride and so much pressure – not to mention all the exposure.

I thought he might say something. He didn’t. He was listening.

“Getting Dirk out of that awful institution. I wish you could have seen the look in Catherine’s eyes. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love her, how much I care about her. And those are such happy feelings … my love for her. But it breaks my heart that she and Dirk can’t really be together. Not like you and I can. I so very much want them to have what we have.”

“So do I,” Nick interjected.

“But I also want for you and I to have what they have. That probably makes no sense, but their love is complete. I’ve never witnessed anything like it. The looks they give one another.” Nick held me. It felt so good to be in his arms. “Just once in my life I want to feel what that’s like. A love like theirs…”

“It’s okay,” he said reassuringly.

I tried to figure out what he might be thinking, but then I continued, “So if that’s the measure of love. If that’s the standard. Then I’ve never been anywhere close.”

“Just know that I love you,” he said. “I’d like a future with you. Right now, I can’t really picture what that might look like.”

“We’ll figure it out. But I’ll tell you this. I’m open to falling in love. I truly am. If I get there, you’ll be the first to know. Okay?”

I felt Nick nod. A moment later, we were kissing. The conversation hadn’t gone as I’d envisioned. I’d thought that I might tell him that I loved him – even if I wasn’t sure – just to relieve the tension. I’d been guilty of that in the past. I was glad that I hadn’t taken the easy route. Being honest with him felt more mature. I was proud of myself. I fell asleep feeling much better about us – because we had finally talked.

Somewhere during the night, Nick shifted up onto the couch. I found myself missing his warmth, but I knew he’d sleep better up there. The mattress was so small for two.

~ ~ ~

When I awoke, Nick was gone. Naked under the covers, I pulled the blanket up under my chin – snuggling in to warm my cold shoulders. A second later, I sat up abruptly. Might Catherine be gone – gone for good? Maybe busting Dirk out, setting that right – might that have been the final condition – the thing that would release her – allow her to complete her journey to the afterlife?

I hopped up, racing into the kitchen. Kim and Brent were there. I stared in disbelief at the three cups of coffee on the bar in front of them. Three cups of coffee, but just two people.

“Where’s Cathers?” I asked, my voice surely betraying my concern.

Sensing my distress, Kim pointed at an empty barstool – the one in front of the ‘extra’ cup of coffee. “She’s not here?”

I shook my head as I sucked in a breath, my eyes darting around the room. She wasn’t in the kitchen or the dining room. My anxiety climbing, I retraced my steps back to the living room. Was she with Dirk? Still in the guest room? That seemed unlikely. She’d told me that she didn’t really sleep. She was always first up. Not wanting to disturb them if they were still in bed, I decided to check the deck first.

It was a nice morning, but I was feeling too panicky to care. The evening before, I’d said ‘goodnight,’ not ‘goodbye.’

She wasn’t there. I made a beeline for the edge, the one that overlooked the stream and the fire circle. Catherine! She was there – wading. I let out a sigh of relief, allowing the tension in my body to begin to dissipate. I raced down the stairs, stepping quickly into the water next to her.

Catherine! She was there! The tension that had been building left me with a heavy sigh.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she asked, concern in her eyes.

“I’m so relieved,” I said, reaching for her. “I woke up thinking you’d be gone.”

“Still here!” she said, holding her arms out wide and tilting her head back gleefully. She started spinning. It looked as if she was enjoying life, loving the feel of the sun on her face and the cool water we were standing in.

“Thank God,” I said, stepping in and hugging her. I felt my breasts tingle as they came into contact with hers.

It took a minute for my heart rate to settle, but once it had, I needed coffee.

“I’ll get you a towel,” Kim offered as we walked into the kitchen. Looking down, I saw that the water was running down my legs. I was leaving footprints.

I took a seat in front of the full cup, the extra cup. “She was outside,” I remarked, looking at Brent. “Wading.”

“We guessed as much,” he replied as Kim came back in with a towel, handing it to me.

“Sorry about the footprints,” I said, looking at the floor as I dried my legs. When I was done, I tossed the towel to Cathers. She held out her hands, but it passed right through, landing on the floor behind her.

“So where’s Dirk?” Kim asked as she replaced my cup with a steaming hot one.

“He’s a sleepyhead,” Catherine replied, a broad grin on her face.

“He’s a sleepyhead, quote, unquote,” I said, attempting to preserve the playful tone of her words.

A bit later, Dirk wandered into the room. He was wearing a blanket pulled tightly around his body.

“Oh, let me help you find something to wear,” Brent said, leading the way out onto their front porch. That was where he and Nick had piled Dirk’s boxes before Nick had departed for work earlier that morning.

A bit later, Brent had images up on his computer screen – of the Certificates of Authenticity that he would be printing on behalf of Heroes Everlasting. There were three variations: the basic version that someone received with a single candy necklace for making a $15 donation, the deluxe one for a donation at the $75 level, and at the top, the special edition that was numbered and hand-signed signed. That final one included, inside a frame, a special-edition candy necklace.

Brent was interested in my input, but Kim and Cathers were there as well, participating fully in the discussion.

First, we had to agree on a primary image. Brent had several photos at his disposal. They were all taken just after I had come out of the house – a short time after the killer had been taken into custody. I was wearing Nick’s blue uniform shirt, his belt cinching it around my waist such that it looked like a sexy little mini dress. We selected the one that showed the candy necklace to its best advantage.

That done, we had to finalize just how it would be cropped. I was torn. I liked the idea of zooming in tight so that very little of my body showed, but doing that put my cleavage on display – front and center. There was obviously no way to showcase the necklace and trim the photo so that my chest didn’t show.

Kim liked that direction because it showcased the candy necklace. In the end, I selected the full-body option. I knew it was the sexy choice because given the length of Nick’s shirt my bare legs looked impossibly long – so long, in fact, that it was surprising that no girl parts were visible at the hemline.

The sexiness of the end result, that wasn’t at all why I chose the full-body cropping. I preferred it because it made my face small. I didn’t think that it preserved my anonymity, but of what we had to work with, it came the closest to doing so.

Once we’d concluded that, I signed a piece of cardstock. Brent would print my signature on all but the special-edition version.

After he had departed, Kim showed me some preliminary figures. Heroes Everlasting site visits were up over fifty-fold in one day – and climbing. In Kim’s opinion, the visit to the mental hospital had given the program a huge boost. I was again the lead story on all the news sites, and this time around they mentioned the connection with the charity, even giving out the URL. The websites seemed to all have links – to Heroes Everlasting as well to the Winters Candy Company site.

I was glad. It seemed as if Kim’s vision might end up paying off. Donations were starting to trickle in. The numbers were low, but she didn’t act at all concerned. In her opinion, it was much too early to gauge how successful the program might ultimately end up being.

A bit later, I was out on the deck, reclining in the sunshine. Cathers and Dirk were knee-deep in the stream, acting all lovey-dovey. I was getting a kick out of their behavior, while at the same time trying to give them their space. I couldn’t make out any words, but their giggling and occasional splashing said it all.

I was starting to feel like a third wheel. I’d gotten so used to Catherine being right at my side anytime I’d been naked, that it felt odd to be observing her from a distance, someone else the center of her attention. I suppressed my feelings of jealousy. There was no reason to permit such emotions. Her happiness was what mattered, and that was on full display. Everything seemed to be working out marvelously.

I strolled inside to see what Kim was up to. She was in her office, tapping away on her keyboard. She looked up and smiled. Deciding that I didn’t need to interrupt her, I returned to the deck.

After turning one of the recliners, I sat down and leaned back. The warmth of the sun’s summer rays felt wonderful on my bare chest and legs. I eased my knees out, baring my inner thighs to the heavens. Prior to that summer, I had spent very little time nude sunbathing. I felt so wanton doing it, especially with my legs apart, but there was something quite pleasurable about feeling the breeze and the UV radiation on my nipples as well as the juncture of my thighs. Being nude as much as I was, I’d had no choice but to keep on top of the shaving, allowing for the completely unimpeded touch of the sun’s rays between my legs.

UV radiation on my nipples and I was glad I had kept up my personal care, allowing for the sun’s uninterrupted touch down there as well.

Even with all the time I’d spent naked, my heart rate still responded to how daring it felt. Maybe even more than usual, because I could hear Dirk’s low, masculine voice in the background. It seemed as if at any moment he might climb the stairs and catch me there, stretched out in all my glory. Quite a bit later, I rolled over, again lying with my legs angled toward the sun and slightly more than a negligible distance apart.

That afternoon, Kim cornered me to talk. “The Executive Director of Heroes Everlasting, Brenda Sowers, is flying in. She wants to meet you.”

“Wants to meet me?” I asked in surprise.

“I hear she’s very nice.”

“You haven’t met her?”

“I haven’t, but I just started, remember?”

I nodded. “So, why does she want to meet me?”

“I don’t exactly know. But I can guess.”

“What if I don’t want to meet her?”

“Don’t be silly. We’re all on the same team. Putting kids through college … that’s the mission.”

That evening, Nick was unable to make it out to spend the night. Something about covering for someone on the night shift.

Before going to bed, I made a point of telling Catherine how much I loved her. I also told her ‘goodbye,’ just in case, and that I’d miss her if she had to go, but that I’d be fine. I’d never really been a believer in heaven, but now it seemed like a sure thing – that Cathers and I would probably spend decades apart, but that ultimately, we’d be back together, presumably for the rest of all eternity.

~ ~ ~

The next day, Kim and I drove into town. For the occasion, I’d put on a pair of ordinary denim shorts, but I’d dressed them up with a classy white on white eyelet-embroidered, button-front blouse. It was one of my favorite tops, but I hadn’t had the opportunity to wear it yet that summer.

Getting dressed had felt slightly strange as it had again been a number of days since I’d last had anything on. We left Dirk alone at the cabin, but likely Catherine was with him. I hadn’t brought the subject up and by the time I’d gotten dressed, it was too late.

As Kim had arranged, we met Brenda Sowers at a restaurant for lunch. It was a quaint place, an older home in a nice part of town that had been converted such that there were a number of small dining rooms. As we were there well before the lunch rush, there was no one in the entryway. Kim seemed to know right where to go, so I followed her back into the seemingly empty establishment. In a back room, we found Mrs. Sowers seated in a corner booth.

Mrs. Sowers, or Brenda as she insisted I call her, ended up being a rather laid-back, friendly woman, especially for someone in such a high position. I’d been assuming that, like Kim, her background had to be in law enforcement, but that wasn’t the case. She had an advanced degree in Nonprofit Management and had worked for a number of NGOs prior to being recruited by a headhunter for the Executive Director position at Heroes Everlasting. She had grown up in New Orleans and had the accent to prove it.

A short time later, a waitress stopped by with menus. She recognized me instantly. She didn’t bring up nudity, but I could tell from how she was looking at me that she wanted to. However, what she did say surprised me. “Why aren’t you wearing a candy necklace? The two times … that was all you were wearing.”

“Umm…” I said, my hand jumping to my neck. I had thought of putting a new one on that morning, only I was running out.

To my surprise, Brenda opened her purse and pulled one out, handing it to me.

As I unwrapped it and went about putting it on, the waitress again started talking. “My girls have been begging me for candy necklaces … and I’ve been trying to find some. Just no one seems to have them?”

“I’ve got more,” Brenda said, drawing her purse up onto her lap and opening it. “Two girls?”

“Yes, two. Maggie and Avery. They’re nine and six.”

“Here’s three,” said Brenda. “One for each of you. Is that enough?”

There was joy on the waitress’s face. Considering that, I felt mine growing warm. It was clearly my fault that these two young girls wanted candy necklaces – which meant that they’d seen images – probably nude images. That was unsettling.

The waitress left, but returned a short time later to see if we were ready to order. After getting everything noted on her pad, she had a request that surprised me. “Jessa, would it be alright to take a selfie with you? For Maggie and Avery. So I can show them that I really met you … served you lunch today?”

I nodded. I’d never had a stranger ask to take a selfie with me.

With Kim directing, I stood up as she reached for the woman’s phone. I felt the woman’s hand on the small of my back, so I extended an arm behind her as well. Glancing down, I saw that she was clutching the candy necklaces in her other hand, holding them up just enough – so that they’d show in the photo. It was quick and relatively painless, but it had me wondering if I’d be in a lot of selfies going forward. Might it be something that I was destined to grow tired of?

“You handled that very graciously,” Kim said after I was again in my seat.

I shrugged, turning my head to look out the window.

From there, we talked about everything and nothing. The direction of the conversation left me confused, but even so, it was very pleasant. The three of us got along fabulously. A great number of Brenda’s questions were directed at Kim as well, such that I was able to add to what I knew about her background.

At one point, Brenda figured out that I hadn’t yet seen any of the photos or articles that had resulted from my naked excursion into the mental hospital with the governor.

“I guess it’s bad enough knowing that they are out there,” I explained.

Kim brought one up on her phone. “You don’t want to see?” she asked.

“I guess I’m curious,” I admitted, accepting the phone from her.

“The Naked Crusader Strikes Again!” the headline read.

And there I was in all my glory, standing on the top step of the institution stairway, facing back towards the cement building. It was a defiant pose, essentially a butt shot, even though there was a good helping of side-boob on display as well. It was actually a good picture, nicely lit by the warmth of the sunset taking place behind me. What stood out, almost rivaling my nudity, was that I had both arms overhead, my two middle fingers extending up into the evening sky. Cathers had been right next to me, also aggressively flipping off the building and all that it stood for. Of course, I was the only one who appeared in the shot. There wasn’t even a shadow hinting at her presence.

“What was going through your mind at that moment?” Brenda asked.

I shrugged. “One finger for Dirk and one finger for me,” I said, hoping she wouldn’t ask me to explain.

Fortunately, she didn’t. Instead, she inquired about the candy necklace and all the history there. It seemed as if she already knew much of the story. As I imagined it, she just wanted to hear it all directly from me. I was more than happy to oblige, starting with how ‘Officer Nick Harris’ had seen mention of it in the forty-year-old case files and how I’d started wearing them as a show of support for my grandmother’s sister, Catherine Marshall, who had been murdered in 1985.

At one point, I got up to use the restroom. I considered locking the door to see if Catherine had indeed come to the restaurant with us. I didn’t end up doing that, deciding that if she had, we would have more than enough time to compare notes that evening. When I got back to the table, Kim was alone. She pointed out the window. Brenda was outside, talking on her phone.

After a two-hour lunch, the three of us took a path that led to a neighborhood park. We wandered a bit, but ended up on a bench a short distance from a playground. There were a number of children of various ages, swinging and enjoying a colorful climber, a couple of mothers and one father overseeing their fun. I sensed that it wasn’t a coincidence that we were there – watching children.

“Hey, Kim, maybe we should be going,” I said, deciding to force the issue.

Brenda smiled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take your whole day, but there is something that I’d like to discuss with you, Jessa. I just felt the need to get to know you a bit first.”

I nodded, turning my head to look at the children. One young boy had fallen off the bottom of the slide and was crying.

“Kim and I have already discussed this,” she continued.

I smiled. I’d expected as much.

“I’m prepared to offer you a position with Heroes Everlasting.”

I looked at Kim, trying to imagine what they might have in mind. Working for a charity was a career direction that I’d never considered. “I need to finish my degree before I do anything,” I said.

“Maybe you could complete your degree after starting your new position. It might take a bit longer, but possibly your studies and this new position would be compatible.”

“So, the candy necklace thing … I’m already bringing in donations. I get that. And, I’m more than happy to do it. Putting kids through college. I’m certainly on board, but going forward, what might I have to offer? My days as the Naked Crusader have surely come to an end.”

A thoughtful look appeared on Brenda’s face. “Heroes Everlasting is sorely in need of a Celebrity Spokesperson … also known as a Goodwill Ambassador. We’ve been searching for the right person ever since I took the reins just over a year ago. We need someone to be the face of the organization. It’s a tough position to fill because it needs to be a person who has the respect of the law enforcement community, but also…”

“Hold up. Just a second,” I said, interrupting her. “If this is a clothed position… But if you are expecting me to be naked, then there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Absolutely a clothed position,” Brenda replied. “I wouldn’t be opposed to a little nudity now and then. How could I be? It seems to be your shtick. But it’s not necessary.”

“Okay, but why me? A bit of notoriety maybe, but hardly a celebrity.”

I looked from Kim to Brenda and back. They were both smiling. “I’m afraid you are,” said Kim. “You’re a fuckin’ rock star.”

“But I don’t want to be,” I said, the words catching in my throat.

“Jessa, we’ve had this discussion,” Kim said. “You’ve been handed an opportunity. Could there be any better way to put it to use?”

“Look at those children,” Brenda said. “Shortly after finishing my degree, I was involved with the HeForShe movement … working with Emma Watson. She was great. Really enjoyed that, and I was 110% behind that effort, advancing gender equality around the globe. And yet, this is something that I am even more committed to … attempting to ensure that these children have the educational opportunities that they would have had … had they not lost a parent.”

I was sure that the position she was talking about wasn’t for me, but I decided to do my best to sound open-minded. In my opinion, I owed Kim at least that much. “Okay, so describe this for me. This Celebrity Whatever … just what would I be doing?”

“Largely, talking with people. Often one on one, but also making guest appearances. Bringing our message to the masses. Small and large in-person audiences, but also TV and radio shows … podcasts as well. You’d have a social media team. I’d like for Kim to be on it. She’s an idea person … and so full of energy and drive.”

I was caught completely off guard. It was too much to wrap my head around. I was having a great amount of difficulty believing that I might be well-known enough to pull it off. And, of course, there was the issue of my speaking ability. Stage fright – that might be a problem. But no matter what I said, Kim and Brenda were certain that I could do it. They had a very hard time believing that stage fright might be an issue for me, pointing out that I had stood naked in front of TV cameras, flipping off a building. Moments later – still naked – I had led the Governor of Vermont toward the very same cameras.

“Okay, so why me,” I asked again. “Before I interrupted you a moment ago, you mentioned one requirement, the respect of law enforcement. I’m not sure why you think I might have that.”

“Well, allow me to start over,” said Brenda, “…the long answer. And I just finished pitching this to my board of directors … discussing all the ins and outs with them. They’re on board. In our opinion, the public views you as an independent thinker. Gen Z, through and through. You’re someone who is willing to go rogue when she feels passionate about something. Willing to work with authority figures, but also get in their face if that is what is going to carry the day.

“Years ago, the police were widely respected, but not anymore. The ‘Defund the Police’ movement has come and gone. The police are now viewed somewhat pragmatically. Young people, your generation as well as Millennials, see them as more of a necessary evil. And then Jessa Wilson marches onto the scene. Are you following me?”

“So far, so good, but you haven’t exactly said much.”

“Fair enough,” said Brenda pausing. “Okay, Jessa Wilson. She’s big on law and order, but willing to buck the powers that be. She’ll do what it takes to accomplish her goals … whatever it takes! The bad guy needs to be captured. The innocent man needs to be set free. Oddly enough, those over-simplified goals align exactly with what the police force, as envisioned, is out to accomplish. So, there you have it. That’s why you have the respect of law enforcement. And here’s the kicker, you seem to be popularizing what they imagine they have been doing all along.”

“Popularizing?”

“Exactly. Maybe the masses haven’t realized it yet, but all the publicity you’ve received… Well, law and order is suddenly hip again. Sadly, the last decade or more, there hasn’t been the level of outrage there should have been when a cop was killed. That translated to a lower level of sympathy for their widows and orphans. You’re turning all that on its head. That’s why you’re the perfect fit for our organization. And what makes it even more wonderful, is that you are a member of the generation that has always been the most mistrustful of the police. And … you act like them and talk like them. It’s perfect.”

“Like who? Like the police?”

“No, I guess I misspoke. Like those of your generation, Gen Z. They identify with you. You’re one of them.”

“So, flipping off the building? That was good?”

“Flipping off what it represents … authority run amuck. Law enforcement needs what you bring to the table. Heroes Everlasting certainly does. Any of this making sense? I hope I’ve made my point.” She stopped talking, allowing me time to respond.

“Still processing,” I said.

Much of what I was struggling with was the notion that I was a celebrity. If that was at all true, then I imagined I was a one-hit wonder. The idea that people would want to meet a clothed version of the Naked Policewoman and hear – from me – about the mission of ‘our’ charity struck me as very unlikely.

“But, I was naked. Why would an organization such as yours want to associate with that?”

“I asked Kim why you were naked.”

Looking over at Kim, I asked, “And what did she say?”

“She said that she knew. That I could ask you, but that she didn’t think you’d tell me.”

I nodded. “Kim’s right. It’s not something I’m going to talk about.”

Brenda replied. “Like I was saying, that’s what Kim said. And do you know what I told her?”

I waited for her to continue.

“I told her that was perfect. That I hoped you would never answer the question.”

“And why is that?”

“Because it is the speculation that drives your popularity. If you were to come out and announce that you were a nudist or have a rare skin ailment that acts up when you wear clothing, whatever it is … well, the media would report that and you’d quickly be yesterday’s news. Keep everyone in the dark, and your popularity will continue.”

I decided that I was going to have to think on that a bit, but she hadn’t answered my question. “That’s an interesting thought,” I told her, “…but back to my question. Why might an upstanding organization want to partner with the likes of me … a woman known for going butt-naked when no one in their right mind would do such a thing?”

Brenda laughed. “You have certainly garnered your critics, but you’ve also been effective. You’ve accomplished what you set out to do – both times. Your generation has high expectations of their abilities. You are the embodiment of what they want to believe they themselves can do. To me, it’s a bit of a video game mentality. They’ve grown up watching the woman in the riveted steel bikini top run into danger wielding a sword or a machine gun. For many, you are that woman.”

“Only no steel bra, no sword, no machine gun,” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Exactly! Just Bulletproof Breasts!” she proclaimed triumphantly.

I still wasn’t sure that she’d answered my question, but I could tell that she was convinced that she had. I decided to leave it there.

As it turned out, Brenda wasn’t willing to take ‘maybe’ for an answer. She said, “I’m just going to proceed as if we have an agreement. Initially, you are doing exactly what we need you to be doing … bringing in donations via the candy necklace connection that Kim has cobbled together.”

Before we took our leave of Brenda, she promised to get me more information about Heroes Everlasting as well as a concrete offer the next day. She would send it to me via Kim’s email, but that all the terms were up for discussion and that I could take all the time I needed before signing – but that she hoped we could move forward quickly.

Nick made it out to the cabin that evening. Having been lonely the night before, I was delighted to see him. Kim was encouraging me to discuss with him the position I was being offered. I told her that I would when I was ready. I liked Nick, but it was, after all, my decision. No one could make it for me. I’d always been proudly independent when it came to charting my own course.

“You seem preoccupied,” Nick said once we were snuggling on the twin mattress on the floor in front of the couch.

“And you don’t?” I asked, reaching into his underwear and wrapping my fingers around his boner. “Already as stiff as can be,” I added, squeezing and pulling.

“Don’t give me a hard time about that. I’ve got the sexiest girlfriend on the planet and she never wears clothes.”

“I actually got dressed today,” I said, trying to make it sound as if I was proud to have done so. I’d just decided to tell him about the offer I expected to receive in the morning.

Nick listened intently. I appreciated that. I purposefully made it challenging for him to focus by keeping him on edge – the whole time – with a steady, but gentle stroking.

“Where would you have to live?”

I chuckled to myself. That was exactly what I expected him to ask.

“She said I could live anywhere. Just that I’d want to be near a major airport as I’d be traveling to appearances all over the country. I could live in Scottsdale.”

“Or Stonefield,” he interjected. “Quite a few airports around here, and there’s the Boston Logan airport. It’s huge and barely more than three hours away.”

“And just an hour and a half to Albany International,” I said, wanting him to know that I’d done a little research on my own.

We didn’t end up making love that evening. Poor Nick. He surely ended up with a case of blue balls. I was just a bit too distracted trying to imagine what life in the public eye might be like for me, the Naked Crusader, if I were to accept the position. Would a woman who had gained her fame without her clothes ever be respected with them on?

To Be Continued…

 

Author’s note: If you are reading and enjoying Jessa Meets Her Match, I would love to hear from you! You may comment here on the storyboard (as ‘anonymous’ or register and give yourself a name, any name). Alternately, feel free to send me an email: BPClavel@gmail.com
Very best regards,
Blair P. Clavel

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