Mailgirl Six Blog – New Positions

Good morning gentle readers! Thank you for the kind words of support. As promised, I am muscling through the difficult part and trying my best to keep the rest of the crew together. Unity is our best tool against oppression and I want to keep morale up. Hopefully we can get through this together. I can’t imagine Ms. West’s reign will last very long, especially with the liberties Ms. East is taking with punishments.

Speaking of which, this loops around to a reply from a previous question we covered: When asked if I could change one thing about the Mailgirl Code I replied that I would like additional positions.

I am happy to report we have a few new ones because of the strict enforcement at the office.

Since the new regime took over demerits have tripled. One of the biggest was “positional violations”. As wrote in the user guide there are two positions a Mailgirl may stand or kneel in when not in motion, just two. Either I’m on my toes awaiting inspection or on my knees in the approved resting. This causes a lot of problems when I’m on an active delivery and I get there in time, but the recipient is not ready for it. If I stand there with the message in my hand I’m in technical violation of the code. I would have to drop the message and go into inspection position, or drop to my knees and rest. Either way the item is on the dirty floor.

I lobbied the CEO for additional positions and they approved four new ones. Four! Ms. West was furious I went over her head but I managed to convince the CEO it would be difficult to recruit and retain mailgirls if it meant having to take financial demerits or get paddled for doing the job as wrote. I like to think my previous good service had something to do with it, but instead he stared at my body. Offering new ways to display the goods went a long way, I guess. But whatever works, right?

So the new approved positions:

Ready to Receive – this is the official position for a mailgirl awaiting a pickup. The mailgirl stands with her feet wider than shoulder-width and facing the direction of the summoner, chest out and back slightly bowed. Her hands are on the backs of her thighs, under her bum, with fingers spread wide. This is to show that while she has nothing in her hands she is on an active delivery and awaiting receipt. Feedback has been mixed, some of the girls feel this position ‘lifts and separates’ the backside but others are just happy to have another legal way to stretch.

Delayed Delivery – anytime a mailgirl must wait at a door or office cubicle to deliver a parcel they should take this position. The mailgirl kneels with both knees wider than shoulder width apart. She faces in the direction of the recipient, eyes lowered and the parcel held with both hands at head level. This allows the mailgirl to take a proper supplicated position and rest her legs, although the arms will start to tire after a few minutes. If the mailgirl would be blocking a thoroughfare she must align her position against a wall. The mailgirl may repeat the phrase, “delivery sir(ma’am)” once every ten seconds in a low tone.

Alternate Rest – A mailgirl not on an active delivery may rest at any official resting mat in either the established kneeling position or may be on their hands and knees, facing down. Hands and knees must be slightly wider than shoulder-width and back should be kept straight, eyes lowered to the floor. I like this as its a decent stretch, fulfills the requirement of a mailgirl being on-display, and gives my poor thighs a minute to recover.

Overstressed – As a few mailgirls, including myself, have felt a lot of additional pressure around the office since the management change. We requested optional resting periods to avoid emotional breakdown. The ‘overstressed’ button is available on the MMU and puts all deliveries on hold for five minutes. The mailgirl reports to the nearest resting mat and lays down on her back, legs spread, knees bent with toes on the floor. The mailgirl’s arms must be off her sides, elbows on the ground and bent at a 45 degree angle. Knuckles must touch the floor with palms up. The mailgirl may not close her eyes or appear to sleep during this period, but may breathe heavy and relax. No one may make eye-contact with her and she must stare at the ceiling. If the resting mat has one end pointing at a wall this is the end her head must be on, her feet pointed in the opposite direction.

After a few years in the program I am happy to see new positions available and encouraged. In my experience, the positional violation demerit is unevenly applied across different companies. So if the corporate environment is strict having more positions, even exploitative ones, is a godsend. It allows me to remain professionally detached, to do the job without getting my emotions wrapped up in it. As Lead Mailgirl I’m trying to be a good example to my crew, often taking the new positions and have been using the “Overstressed” button once a day in a high traffic area. I guess I’m trying to show it’s okay to admit you need a break. Heaven knows I push it too far, too often.

Willing to take questions on this if you like. You’re the reader and I’m writing this for you 😉

Anyway, back to the mailbag. Returning reader arthwys writes: “Now that you are training mailgirl recruits, did you notice any change in your behavior? What I mean is that if people have power over others, some of them might enjoy this maybe a little too much… Judging from your previous posts, I don’t think you are someone to abuse her power. I love reading your blog, thanks again for your insights!”

Well arthwys I don’t think I’ve changed in my attitude to trainees. I suppose I’m a bit of a mother hen, trying to get everyone comfortable and confident. But now, with the change and all, I guess maybe I was too soft on them? No one has quit yet, so that’s a good sign, but maybe if I was a little firmer with them in training the harsh treatment would not be such a shock. I regret not toughening them up.

The staff has changed their attitude a bit. Some people I thought we were cool with us are now downright cold. Others who were disinterested in us are now very interested. There is a lot more pointless runs than their used to be, delivering things like glasses of water and post-it notes. We’re being watched like hawks. More demerits, more humiliations, less fun. I really should have been harder on them.

Best thing I can do is be a good example. Or maybe take them out for drinks on Thursday night. I think we all need to decompress.

Guess I’ll knuckle down and get to work. Keep working hard everyone. And remember; Health and Efficiency matters!