The Ride

A sign pointing to the bathrooms hung on the ceiling to Angela’s right. She took a deep breath, and sprinted towards it, then turned down the side corridor that led towards the gent’s and lady’s. She burst into an empty lady’s room and hid in a stall.

Angela sat down on the toilet seat, trying not to think about the germs it must be breeding, and caught her breath. For the first time since she had taken off her underwear in the middle of the salon, she felt safe from the eyes of the world. She still couldn’t believe she’d actually done that. But she’d had no choice, and now she had to deal with her situation as it was.

After taking a moment to collect herself, Angela looked at the toilet paper dispenser. Empty. Frowning, she got up and switched to the next stall. No luck. And the next. Also empty. The universe, or perhaps more accurately the mall cleaning staff, had denied her even a flimsy makeshift toilet paper bikini.

The hand-dryers by the sinks were, of course, hot-air blowers rather than paper towel dispensers. Angela screamed internally, and then made peace. Still naked, nothing lost, nothing gained. Okay, next stage of the plan. Call Rachel, her best friend.

Angela pulled her phone out of her sock, opened her contacts app, and then had second thoughts. Rachel’s wedding was a week from now, and she was incredibly busy with preparations. If she even answered her phone, Angela had no right or desire to lay the stress of this stupid predicament on her. Rachel had enough to deal with already.

Angela scrolled through her contact list. She would call Tammy, another friend, though one she knew less well. Tammy at least lived near the mall, and could come quickly. She would ask her to bring some clothes, meet her in this bathroom, and then drive her home. Tammy would do that for her, how could she not? She would come quickly, pass the clothes over the top of the stall, and then Angela would get dressed and put this whole mess behind her.

Angela tapped on Tammy’s name and then tapped call. The phone began to dial.

“Hi Angela!” Tammy said, picking up on the second ring. “What’s up?”

Angela was delighted to hear Tammy’s sweet, bubbly voice. “Hey Tammy, I need to ask you a favor.”

“Sure, anything,” Tammy replied. “Well, not anything anything! Like I won’t help you bury a dead body, or commit tax fraud, or carry out an assassination conspiracy, or anything like that! But whatever I can do for you that isn’t that!”

“Okay, sure,” Angela said, forcing a small laugh into her voice. Tammy was a bit strange, and Angela wished it had been a good time to call Rachel instead.

“Listen, this is going to sound weird, but I need you to bring a change of clothes for me to the bathroom at the strip mall by your house. The one with Rosa’s Beauty Salon.”

“Say no more, that’s no problem! I’ll be there in a jiffy!” Tammy hung up the phone before Angela could respond. But no matter, she was going to bring clothes. And maybe it was better that Angela didn’t have to give her a whole long explanation about what had led her into this situation. She’d have Tammy pass the clothes over the stall door, get dressed, and exit the bathroom cool and confident. She could even tell Tammy that she was wearing something underneath that had a big spill on it. At worst, Tammy would think she was a bit vain, not a crazy streaker.

Angela pumped the air, triumphant. Now all she had to do was wait.

After a couple of minutes, her phone buzzed. It was Tammy. She must be here already, with the clothes. Probably wanted to know which bathroom Angela was in… did this mall have more than one?

“Hello,” Angela said, picking up.

“Hey Ang, listen, I’m so so so sorry, but something’s come up and I’ve had to change plans. I still have an outfit for you, that’s no problem, we’re about the same size I think so I just took out one of mine, but something came up and I can’t come to the mall right now. But don’t worry, I’m calling a ride for you to come over, told him to stop right by Rosa’s, he should be there um, right now, I think, the license number is…”

Angela’s heart sank as she listened to Tammy speak at her usual warp speed, unable to get a word in. After rattling off the license number, she said a quick goodbye and hung up. One word from Tammy’s shpiel stuck in Angela’s mind: the pronoun “he”.

So far, Angela had only been exposed to women, which was embarrassing, but being seen naked by a man was a whole different story. Beyond being way more embarrassing, it could be downright dangerous. But rideshare drivers were professionals. She would likely be more mortified than in danger. And anyway, didn’t she know that even if a woman walked down the street naked, she still wasn’t asking for it? Well, she was about to do just that.

A horn honked outside the bathroom. More than likely, that was her ride. Could she do it? Go out naked and hop into a car with a strange man? What other options did she have? She didn’t have any other friends who lived this close by, and she couldn’t spend the rest of her life in this filthy bathroom stall. And Tammy was expecting her.

Angela felt a strange courage building inside her, a steel resolve and in some way, perhaps, excitement. She undid the lock and pushed open the door, catching the sight of her naked torso in the mirror. Despite herself, she smiled and winked. Whatever else happened, she was about to make some rideshare driver’s day.

A pink streak shot out of the lady’s room and towards the Toyota parked just in front of it. Angela glanced to confirm the number plate, yanked the back door handle and tumbled into the back seat of the car, covering herself as best she could. “Hi,” she said sheepishly. Her courage had evaporated.

The driver was a gangly, bespectacled blond guy around Angela’s age, maybe a bit younger. His eyes looked about ready to pop out of their sockets. “A-Angela?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Angela said, putting on a weak smile. “In the flesh.”

“And how!” said the driver. “Is this a dare?”

Angela briefly considered how to respond. “Yeah, sure,” she said. “It’s a dare. I, uh, lost a bet.”

“Well your loss is my win!” the driver exclaimed, putting the car in gear. “You’re really hot!”

“Thanks, I guess,” said Angela, hoping he wouldn’t compliment her breasts as well.

“And really brave too!” he followed up. “Takes real balls to do a dare like that. Uh, not that I’m saying you have balls! I can see you don’t. Well, you’re kinda covering up, but I wouldn’t want to… I mean, unless… ah okay… cool. Real metaphorical balls on you lady.”

Angela felt mortified that she had briefly removed her hand from her crotch to stop the awkward man’s blabbering. He’d probably been angling for that.

The car moved out of the mall parking lot and onto the public road, and Angela sank further down into her seat. “Um, you don’t happen to have a coat, or something, do you?” she asked.

“Well that wouldn’t be in the spirit of your dare now would it?” the gangly driver shot back.

“No, I guess it wouldn’t.”

They drove mostly in silence, the driver taking every opportunity to glance back at Angela, and Angela trying to sink further and further into the passenger seat, wishing she could melt into it and become part of the car’s upholstery.

After a remarkably slow drive down a couple of blocks, the driver announced that they’d reached Tammy’s house and pulled up in line with the front door. Angela thanked him before slinking out of the door and dashing for the entrance. “No, thank you!” shouted the driver, no doubt enjoying the view of Angela’s sprinting ass.

Angela clung to Tammy’s front door and furiously pounded the doorbell. The rideshare car idled behind her, taking his sweet time to roll off. “Hold your horses,” came the voice of an older lady, “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Angela glanced around anxiously at the neighboring houses, and held her arms tightly around herself. She felt like a million eyes were bearing down on her naked body.

Finally, the door to the house opened. But Tammy wasn’t behind the door. Instead it was her mother. Angela took a deep breath in, but Tammy’s mother didn’t appear to react in any unusual way to the naked girl standing on her porch.

Then Angela noticed the stick in Tammy’s mother’s hand, and looked at her eyes. She remembered that Tammy’s mother was blind. What a relief! She could have hugged the lady, but that would be counterproductive.

“Who is it?” Tammy’s mother asked.

“It’s Angela, Tammy’s friend,” Angela said, forcing her voice to sound normal, as though this was an ordinary Saturday morning and she was paying an ordinary social visit.

“Oh yes,” Tammy’s mother said. “She’s expecting you. Something about trying on clothes. Come in, come in. Tammy’s room is on the second floor.”

Tammy’s mother ushered Angela in, tapping her on the back of the shoulder. “Oh, backless is in this season, is it?” she asked. “I don’t think Tammy has any backless dresses. Maybe she’d better try on your outfit!”

Angela chuckled nervously as Tammy’s mother shut the door. She heard the sound of the rideshare driver pulling off. “What a gentleman,” said Tammy’s mother, “waiting to see you get in safe, and for no extra fee.”

“Oh, he got a hell of a tip,” Angela replied. “I’ll head up to Tammy’s room now.”

Then Angela had an idea. “Actually, uh, where’s the bathroom?” she asked.

“Right down the—”

A high, shrill voice cut Tammy’s mother off in mid-sentence. “ANGIE!” Tammy had appeared halfway down the hallway staircase, her eyes wide as saucers.