Too long to post here, but a new post on my web site on how moderation is worthwhile (advice I sometimes haven’t taken myself). Let me know what you think.
https://www.donnylaja.com/post/physical-exaggerations-in-erotic-fiction
Too long to post here, but a new post on my web site on how moderation is worthwhile (advice I sometimes haven’t taken myself). Let me know what you think.
https://www.donnylaja.com/post/physical-exaggerations-in-erotic-fiction
Thank you for these insights.
Aside from physical exaggerations, I think it’s also good to be wary of narrative exaggerations, such as unlikely events happening again and again in short order, or every onlooker reacting simiarly to an ENF.
Cave,
Thanks for your comment.
Good point. See the earlier post on my blog, “A character naked since birth”, about suspending disbelief and how it can be done only once. I think it was Robert A. Heinlein, the science fiction writer, who said it first.
Characterization is important. As you point out, different characters would react differently to an ENF. 1. Leering lust. 2. Horror. 3. Pity. 4. Sadistic glee. 5. The urge to grab her boobs. 6. Grab clothes to cover her with. 7. Disgust (“what a slut”!). 8. Immediately grabbing one’s dick to jerk off. 9. Curiosity (“how did this happen?”). etc.
yours
donnylaja
As fiction authors, we aren’t necessarily bound by reality.
However, there should ideally be no more than one implausible fantastical element in any story attempting to fit into the real world. Every other apparent divergence from reality has to flow from that single premise.
The problem with 136 orgasms, and constant wishers for clothing, and Tami getting repeatedly frozen isn’t that they’re implausible, it’s that they happen to the same girl. You’ve taken three unlikely conditions and concatenated them.
You get an “out” here by having multiple stories, since each one can have its own fictional premise. You get another one by stretching it out, so all of this doesn’t happen to Tami at once.
But did you overreach in these stories? Yeah, maybe. 🙂
That said, the Tami stories are far from the least plausible in the genre. You can chain the frigid scenes from her enforced nudity, and the increased arousal from the constant attention on her body, so by that standard, you’re still obeying the “one implausible premise only” rule. All I’m arguing is that you might’ve gone a bit off-piste with it.
Moving on, I’m not sure I buy the “heart attack” argument against multiple orgasms. Biologically, it’s just another form of exercise. Someone trained up and physically capable could do these things.
The male limits are well known, but let’s also not forget that we write fictional stories because reality is often boring. We’re not writing about average people living average lives in average places. Who’d read that? Heck, who’d want to write it? If our lead characters aren’t literally extraordinary, what are we doing here?
Kai-Kai is a sexual athlete. His above-average attributes are no more remarkable than what you find in any professional-level sporting event. That’s your one implausible condition in The Sire Project, and it’s fine.
There is a major premise plot problem in that book, and it isn’t Kai-Kai’s sexual attributes. The first is that you don’t make the underlying plague more plausible. Atop this, you have his constant nudity, which I didn’t buy as a necessary precondition to his mission at all.
The book’s published, so perhaps there’s no point offering advice on fixing it, but I do think you could fix the plague explanation problem fairly easily. That then leaves you to better sell the reason why he has to be both constantly naked and uncommonly well-endowed. I think you could’ve sold the nudity by explaining he’s normally-endowed, so he needs extra special care to complete his mission.
But again, your stories aren’t particularly good examples of the problem.
The real problem comes when every story has a 12-inch cock and liters of emission. If you’re going to tell that story, you’d better have a rock-solid premise to base it on, such as Snekguy’s alien protagonists, since they arne’t subject to human physiological limits.
In my Nature Mage Saga stories, I get to lean on magic. But the thing is, that’s my one “gimme.” Everything else has to flow from that.
Thanks for this thoughtful comment. Your Nature Mage stories contain magic but in small doses. Otherwise you’d have protagonists who are all-powerful which doesn’t make for much suspense.
I suppose 200 orgasms would be plausible for a young female in Tami’s superb physical condition. The problem, if they are all full-scale orgasms, would be mental health damage, particularly because in Tami’s case they are unwanted.
Also thanks for mentioning Kai-Kai.
The autoimmune plague is supposed to be horrific, and depicting or even mentioning the graphic details would be a turn-off that would haunt the reader for pages. I did have Kai-Kai saying at one point, “I’ve seen the pictures”, but I took that out of the Second Edition. Maybe there will be a Third? I’m open to suggestions as to plausibility.
I wanted a character who had been deliberately kept naked since birth and I developed as full a rationale as I could for it. Again, I’m open to suggestions. I do think it’s realistic that such a person wouldn’t need clothes (at least in that climate) and wouldn’t want them.
As for his penis size, that was an unforeseen happenstance. A theme running throughout the book is the difficulty caused by such a large penis and how the Project would have been much easier to manage if Kai-Kai’s penis had been small.
Today’s blog post on my web site is an expanded passage from The Sire Project which demonstrates the sexual athleticism asked of him, again within (I think) the bounds of reality, at least for a male of his age.
Limits are absolutely essential to good fiction. Whether that’s arbitrary paper-based numbers on word count preventing verbal diarrhea or in-world rules your characters cannot escape, it’s how they grow and struggle that makes the story interesting.
In my stories, the limits are physics and society. Ya canna change the laws o’ physics, Captain, and the rules of society change on the scale of generations, far too long to be seen within one of my book series.
Sure, but already right there, you’re too vague. “Autoimmune” isn’t a disease, and its not even a class of related diseases. It’s a characteristic of dozens of wholly unrelated diseases. The only thing they have in common is their effect, not their disparate causes.
This class of diseases isn’t even as closely related as cancer, which is now understood to be dozens of unrelated diseases as well.
So, which autoimmune disease? Something new? Something old but mutated?
You don’t have to be graphic about showing the consequences, but by being so vague, there are no stakes. What happens to the world if Kai-Kai doesn’t succeed? Why do we care to root for him?
Oh, don’t misunderstand: it’s a fine premise. I just don’t see that you’ve sold us on the reason why it’s necessary for his fertility.
Yes, temperature control and all that, but what I remember of the book, it comes in deus ex machina style, the omniscient writer perspective saying, “This is how it is.” But we are skeptical readers. Tell us why we should believe you.
Or, give up the conceit, and make up a better reason. As I said, if he’s naked because he’s otherwise physically average, and so needs every advantage he can get, there you go: a reason we can believe. As it stands, he’s physically extraordinary and also still needs this extra boost. Why?
I’m not trying to be negative, I’m trying to prod you toward a more plausible premise. I want it to result in reinforcement, not disintegration.
Sure, that’s good, too. I just think you’re overreaching to say he’s physically almost superhuman and also has all the other stuff he has to do.
Superman doesn’t go to the gym, and Bruce Wayne wasn’t born on Krypton, ya know?
Too long to post? Ironic.
ha!
Yes, it was just too big to fit into that tiny space.
?
Just found this.So… not all guys have a 12-incher? Hmmm… maybe I should get rid of this handmade ruler I got from that guy in college.:PI’m just reading that article, I’ve not read the story with the Kai-Kai character but I’m thinking I should now.One thing I suspect would happen to someone like that would be similar to what happens to drug addicts – losing the ability to produce a normal pleasure response. Even sometimes a normal emotional response. The drug eventually becomes ‘required’ to make endorphins. In such a scenario a person like Kai-Kai would end up like a junkie needing a fix – and that fix for him would be orgasms. Without them he’d be emotionally hollow. With them he’d be functional at best.The same horror would await someone who went through what Tami Smithers did – losing a lot of normal endorphin production ability.I think addicts can recover from that over time, if there isn’t something blocking it – but I’m not an addiction expert. It makes for an interesting premise for a darker themed story… Anyway, still reading that article – even though it’s a short one I just stepped out before I lost this thought.
Angela reflected once again on how Kai-Kai’s life was so different than that of a typical teenage boy. The constant nudity was the most important difference of course. But also the frequency and purpose of ejaculation. Kai-Kai’s role in life was to ejaculate into thousands of women, produce all those children whose blood would carry the antibody for the vaccine. Instead of “the Sire”, he could be called “the Ejaculator”. It’s what he did. His role in life was to ejaculate. The typical teenage boy masturbated maybe every day, or at most twice a day. But on an average day Kai-Kai “shot” seven “loads”, into seven different women. He ejaculated more often than he ate, supplying 50 or so loads each week, into vaginas, collection tubes in Lab 6, or down the throats of women.
As Ms. Canworthy put it to her once, “For Kai-Kai, ejaculation is almost as casual as urination.” Which raised another question —to what extent did Kai-Kai feel pleasure? He experienced at least seven orgasms a day, each one powerful, at least they seemed so, and longer than average. The endorphins constantly in his blood no doubt contributed to his serene demeanor. One might think that he enjoyed immense sexual pleasure. But for him, orgasms were not something he sought, an option. Having orgasms was his duty. He had no choice. That had to change the nature of his “pleasure”, at least a little bit, and maybe a great deal.
— from The Sire Project
And later:
Elaine said, “Kai-Kai is a good-hearted, conscientious kid who wants to do well. He thinks of being the Sire like being a student. He wants to complete his assignments as well as he can and get good grades. A lot of freshman guys want to rebel. Not him though, quite the opposite. He lives for our approval. Actually I think he’s not selfish enough. He’s not in touch with what he wants, as opposed to what others expect of him.”
And later:
He sighed and took another sip. “I was trying to put a good face on it. I always, like, look on the bright side.” After a short silence he said, “I’m still, um, bummed out about Mrs. Penka.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine . . . Sorry, Kai-Kai, for going in to you too fast. I wasn’t paying attention to how huge that thing was that I strapped in front of me. I didn’t have your experience in being gentle.”
He waved his hand. “I’m o.k. It worked, right? I came. That’s the important thing. For me to ejaculate sperm. Maybe I should get pegged more often when I impregnate someone.” He seemed sad. Angela knew the truth now. Orgasm was not always pleasurable for this unfortunate boy, called upon to have so many of them every day.